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That's interesting. How much higher is it among lesbians then hetero relationships?
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My gf and I are a lesbian couple who have been in a loving relationship for 5 years, we now own a house together and are even considering adoption soon. We have never had any incidences of violence in the past. My gf doesn't even like to raise her voice. I'm definitely the more feisty one. I've always had trust issues due to being cheated on in the past so on this particular night I saw a text pop up from a random girl's name, I asked her who it was, and she told me it was her friend. I didn't believe her so I snatched the phone but it was locked. I told her to give me her password and she wouldn't. I stupidly in the heat of the moment threw the phone across the floor and shattered the screen. Then I got the shock of my life because she slapped the **** out of me. Mind you she's a lot bigger, taller, and stronger than me. But at that moment, I was pissed so I hit her back and we started fighting like for real. She ended up whooping my ass bad. I was screaming and the guy who rents our basement out heard us and pulled her off of me. She left that night to stay with her mom, but she's back in the house now. She apologized but I still told her to sleep in the guest room because I'm not over it. I can't believe she would ever put her hands on me like that. I want to get past this because I love her, and we have built a life together but idk if things will go back to normal. Any advice you all may have would be appreciated.
The trust issues are your problem. You freaked out broke her phone and expected what exactly? Imo you have the mental equivalent of a 8 year old child. Please do not adopt a child of your own. At least until you and your gf understand how a adult relationship works. You're too immature for such adult responsibility. Your gf isn't much better
I personally wouldn't hit you but I would be moving out after that mental spasm you had described. Especially if it's a ongoing thing. There is no way I would put up with it. Oh and if I told you it was my friend I would expect you to believe me. I don't need to prove it to you to placate your insecurity.
Hopefully you learn from this experience. Usually once a abusive factor is introduced in a relationship it gets easier for the abuser to do it again.
It is interesting. I wonder if it has anything to do with the lack of the stigma about "a man should never hit a woman".
This is what i'm thinking. Both the same sex, so no gender stigma. So both may feel they can fight their same-sex partner like they would their sibling, another man or woman at a club -or something w/o the same gender drama that opposite sex fighting brings.
Last edited by HappyRain; 10-22-2017 at 02:46 AM..
I wouldn't say I deserved to get beat up...
I shouldn't have broken her phone but I still think she went way too far over a material item that can be fixed. I've never seen her explode like that. It was scary.
You were insanely out of line and ridiculous.
She was insanely out of line and ridiculous.
Maybe break up and work on maturing a bit before re-entering any kind of relationship.
That's interesting. How much higher is it among lesbians then hetero relationships?
The rates aren't that different except for bi women.
Straight men are the least likely to be abused. Go figure.
Lesbian and straight women put up with the same amount of abuse.
CDC released the results of a 2010 study on victimization by sexual orientation.
The report found that bisexual women had an overwhelming prevalence of violent partners in their lives: 75 percent had been with a violent partner, as opposed to 46 percent of lesbian women and 43 percent of straight women. For bisexual men, that number was 47 percent. For gay men, it was 40 percent, and 21 percent for straight men.
The rates aren't that different except for bi women.
Straight men are the least likely to be abused. Go figure.
Lesbian and straight women put up with the same amount of abuse.
CDC released the results of a 2010 study on victimization by sexual orientation.
The report found that bisexual women had an overwhelming prevalence of violent partners in their lives: 75 percent had been with a violent partner, as opposed to 46 percent of lesbian women and 43 percent of straight women. For bisexual men, that number was 47 percent. For gay men, it was 40 percent, and 21 percent for straight men.
I have no idea why anyone would put up with a abusive partner. I don't care how much I love a person, you lay a hand on me I am outta here. Because if you're hitting me you don't love me. And if your only avenue for expressing yourself is pounding on my skull sorry I'm not interested. I've been dating women and married for over 30 years. I have never raised my hand at any of my partners much less struck them.
My gf and I are a lesbian couple who have been in a loving relationship for 5 years, we now own a house together and are even considering adoption soon. We have never had any incidences of violence in the past. My gf doesn't even like to raise her voice. I'm definitely the more feisty one. I've always had trust issues due to being cheated on in the past so on this particular night I saw a text pop up from a random girl's name, I asked her who it was, and she told me it was her friend. I didn't believe her so I snatched the phone but it was locked. I told her to give me her password and she wouldn't. I stupidly in the heat of the moment threw the phone across the floor and shattered the screen. Then I got the shock of my life because she slapped the **** out of me. Mind you she's a lot bigger, taller, and stronger than me. But at that moment, I was pissed so I hit her back and we started fighting like for real. She ended up whooping my ass bad. I was screaming and the guy who rents our basement out heard us and pulled her off of me. She left that night to stay with her mom, but she's back in the house now. She apologized but I still told her to sleep in the guest room because I'm not over it. I can't believe she would ever put her hands on me like that. I want to get past this because I love her, and we have built a life together but idk if things will go back to normal. Any advice you all may have would be appreciated.
Sorry Jessie but you started this one. It sounds like you both have a lot of issues to work through.
I have no idea why anyone would put up with a abusive partner. I don't care how much I love a person, you lay a hand on me I am outta here. Because if you're hitting me you don't love me. And if your only avenue for expressing yourself is pounding on my skull sorry I'm not interested. I've been dating women and married for over 30 years. I have never raised my hand at any of my partners much less struck them.
I have always thought that and wondered about it, too.
But then someone pointed out to me that we probably were not raised to think that is normal.
Many men and women are raised to think that's normal.
So it does not occur to them to leave or not to hit someone.
Because that's what they saw as a kid.
Based on these stats, it's ridiculously prevalent.
Sorry Jessie but you started this one. It sounds like you both have a lot of issues to work through.
Me "starting it" doesn't take away from what she did. I feel like a lot of these responses are implying I deserved it. But thank you to the people who gave constructive advice. We've decided to see a couples therapist, and we're trying to work it out.
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