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There actually is an increasingly extensive body of peer- reviewed and published research that is ongoing regarding elevated rates of domestic violence in same-sex relationships. Researchers at Northwestern University School of Medicine published a pretty extensive review of research, and found overwhelming evidence to support the hypothesis. And that's even with lower rates of reporting. Gay men are actually at highest risk for DV.
I can understand it....perhaps with the typical societal strictures (too often broken) against opposite sex violence (men raised not to hit women...women afraid to hit a man) then it's more of an "all bets are off" kind of thinking. Two women fighting each other - most outsiders would view it as a harmless catfight though that is obviously not true. And I can easily see two guys getting into it more easily than an opposite-sex couple.
I would think it's not a matter of hetero vs. homosexual but just directly the sexes of the two people involved.
Me "starting it" doesn't take away from what she did. I feel like a lot of these responses are implying I deserved it. But thank you to the people who gave constructive advice. We've decided to see a couples therapist, and we're trying to work it out.
You did start it. Why are you throwing and breaking expensive property that doesn't belong to you? You had a tantrum and your gf smacked you. You both handled the situation incorrectly. You and your partener have issues you need to work out. If you can work them out. Usually a abusive relationship starts with control and works up to smacking around. Please get some help for this before you adopt a child as a violent abusive environment is bad for everyone involved especially a child. Figure out your relationship before you plan on adding a huge stress factor like a child.
You threw what was probably a expensive phone because you got mad. Sounds like you have a bad temper along with your trust issues. Good luck getting approved if they find out you're in a abusive/violent relationship.
Me "starting it" doesn't take away from what she did. I feel like a lot of these responses are implying I deserved it. But thank you to the people who gave constructive advice. We've decided to see a couples therapist, and we're trying to work it out.
You did start it.
Does not mean she had a right to lay a finger on you.
But you were, quite frankly, being ridiculous.
But me...I guess I'm an extremist. I don't even allow raised voices (angry ones) in my home. And no name calling.
Not towards the kids and ESPECIALLY not towards my spouse. I grew up in a yelling house and yelling is its own kind of violence.
I think you are probably somewhat unrealistic about the amount of screening that will be done in order to adopt.
I don't see or read that the OP indicated she called the cops on her. So that means there is no record. Unless you meant asking their neighbors then, oh well.
Each state has individual extensive homestudy criteria that must be met to be considered as a prospective adoptive parent. While there is quite a bit of variance in exactly what is included in the homestudy criteria, assessments of mental health and emotional stability of everyone in the household are part of the process overall, as is demonstrated ability to cope with problems, stress, crises, etc. Whether or not there is a criminal charge paper trail (and DV would be an instant disqualifier), there will be mental/emotional health evaluations required.
Seems possible that these may be sticking points, here. Sending children into adoption situations where there is emotional volatility, let alone physical violence, is something agencies really want to safeguard against.
It's not like the homestudy consists of a social worker showing up and saying, "Hey, so, do you ever beat your partner? No? Cool. Here's a kid for ya!" There are actually are extensive evaluations done.
Also, a number of states have built-in stability requirements to prevent non-committed couples from being able to adopt a child together (and have horribly complicated custody issues should the relationship end). Not all states require that a couple be married in order to adopt, but there are definitely ones that do. And, moreover, some that do also have a time requirement, ex. the couple must be married for at least two years before their application to adopt is considered. Single parents generally have an easier time adopting than cohabiting unmarried partners.
I don't see or read that the OP indicated she called the cops on her. So that means there is no record. Unless you meant asking their neighbors then, oh well.
I didn't call the cops, so there's no record of this. I know the adoption process is intense but we're willing to go through with it.
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