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OK. You present yourself as a stalker who ignores unwanted (by you), but good, advice (see comments by BirdieBelle).
I am not a stalker in any way. I’m super normal just looking to meet a great guy and there is a huge lack of great guys out there. It’s easy to see when someone has hidden their profile when you have been in contact with them through the site. It’s there in big bold letters “profile hidden” on the page that shows who has contacted me. Unfortunately I saw it. Most people on a dating site would be curious as to why someone you have regularly talked to for 3 weeks has hidden their profile.
I’m not ignoring good advice. I have not asked him.
I agree with everyone else. His profile is not your concern. This is what I hate most about online anything - we are able to build walled castles where only straw bales exist. You don't have a relationship yet. All you have is some texts and what you imagine him to be. Fiction for the most part created mostly by you.
If I was you, Id keep looking for people to go out with, and forget about what this person I haven't met yet is doing. Reality is you may never meet him, and it would be silly to miss an opportunity to meet someone because you shared some texts with someone else.
You may very well be right about him seeing someone else, but the only person holding you back and stringing you along is - YOU!
I agree with everyone else. His profile is not your concern. This is what I hate most about online anything - we are able to build walled castles where only straw bales exist. You don't have a relationship yet. All you have is some texts and what you imagine him to be. Fiction for the most part created mostly by you.
If I was you, Id keep looking for people to go out with, and forget about what this person I haven't met yet is doing. Reality is you may never meet him, and it would be silly to miss an opportunity to meet someone because you shared some texts with someone else.
You may very well be right about him seeing someone else, but the only person holding you back and stringing you along is - YOU!
You need to treat yourself better than that.
Thanks. I agree about online anything. I actually think online dating is bad because people make others out to be something they aren’t before meeting them and then it can turn into a disappointment when you meet.
I’m definitely not sitting at home pining away for him. I’m out there meeting others.
I'll tell ya....if I can't ask somebody such an innocuous question and expect a reasonable answer, then no way am I going out of my way to meet them.
Follow whichever advice sits best with you.
I agree with you Cold except for one little thingy, since there is no relationship, why would you care?
On the flip side, he could call her out for prying, being clingy, a stalker etc. What does she need it for? What good is any answer he gives? Will she know if he's a good or bad guy? Will she know if its a lie or the truth?
At this point in their non-existent relationship, I don't see what reason she could give - other than sheer curiosity - for even caring to know.
And then you have well, I'm seeing someone now, and I have you to try if that doesn't work out, so I don't want to get too many names backed up and look like I'm still looking because quite frankly, my calendar is full atm.
People could get upset or whatever, and all over nothing. Would the truth do anything to make the OP feel better, and does she have a right to know why he hid his profile? If anything, I would think it would make her happy to think that she is still in the running, and he is at least not looking for more to date.
I don't know. I would just bide my time. I can always ask when I meet him. It would give us at least 1 thing to discuss over our coffee, lol.
I agree with you Cold except for one little thingy, since there is no relationship, why would you care?
On the flip side, he could call her out for prying, being clingy, a stalker etc. What does she need it for? What good is any answer he gives? Will she know if he's a good or bad guy? Will she know if its a lie or the truth?
At this point in their non-existent relationship, I don't see what reason she could give - other than sheer curiosity - for even caring to know.
And then you have well, I'm seeing someone now, and I have you to try if that doesn't work out, so I don't want to get too many names backed up and look like I'm still looking because quite frankly, my calendar is full atm.
People could get upset or whatever, and all over nothing. Would the truth do anything to make the OP feel better, and does she have a right to know why he hid his profile? If anything, I would think it would make her happy to think that she is still in the running, and he is at least not looking for more to date.
I don't know. I would just bide my time. I can always ask when I meet him. It would give us at least 1 thing to discuss over our coffee, lol.
This should seem like a simple situation. I agree with Cold...should be able to ask. But I agree with ComeCloser too, except there may be a small amount of relationship and that’s why I care. When you talk with someone as much as we have there are some feelings that develop. This is the bad part of long distance. With local people I refuse to talk with someone this long before meeting. It’s better to meet before developing anything over the phone.
I agree if I ask he could call me out for being clingy, people could get upset over nothing ...but stalker...no...because he contacted me his profile shows on my page of those who I have been in contact with and it clearly is labeled “profile hidden”. It’s there for me to see that it’s hidden.
The truth would make me feel better if I knew I could get the truth. If he truthfully told me he was seeing someone locally but still wanted to meet me,I think I would say I’m not interested. I don’t play bench warmer.
But what guy is going to say that’s what he’s doing???
On the other hand, I agree, I could look at it as at least I’m still in the running. I’m just not sure at this point I really am.
What's the deal with hiding your profile? I'll just ask if i were you, no big deal.
When you hide a profile a few things could be going on...you could just be taking a break from the dating site, you could be busy and not have time to answer people, you could be exclusively seeing someone else and that someone else insisted the profile be hidden so others don’t contact him. He may not have been ready to hide it but did it to make someone else happy but still is keeping in contact with the others he has already been talking to.
When I'm talking to someone I met online and plan on meeting them soon, I hide my profile. I don't want to start anything with someone else bc I'm a one-at-a-time person. Everyone's different, just another p.o.v., since you asked.
If you ask him, he may wonder why you're still looking. I've been where my profile went before, and when I explained, they said: "Oh! Well that's considerate, I think I'll do that too."
I've also hidden my profile when someone I didn't want to communicate with anymore wouldn't quit messaging me. On some sites one can see everyone who's viewed their profile. If someone viewed his profile 100 times today, he'd see that.
ETA: Why in all the scenerios you come up with, he's the bad guy, and doing something suspicious?
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