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There’s a way to say things without being hateful. The post was fine...constructive...without that. “Something is seriously wrong with me.” That’s not the kind of thing I need to be telling myself in order to overcome my issues.
Just keep in mind that we all have different experiences that lead us to different perspectives.
I have some things in common with you. For one, I also felt self conscious about my weight for a long time (except I had the reverse issue - got called things like "a stick" growing up). For another, I felt very nervous around girls for a long time.
On the other hand, I was able to ask out a couple of girls on dates when in high school - and have them say yes. Did not last long with either - but still.
In college, I spent some time trying to figure out what I did wrong that led to a girl I was really into dumping me. So I started delving into PUA land. Lo and behold - that stuff works. At least partially. But what I realized is that not much of the stuff you're taught to do in PUA land directly translates if you're looking for a deep relationship with anybody. If you're an emotionless, mysterious guy, you will probably attract girls. But they won't be attracted to YOU. They'll be attracted to who they think you may be. As the facade peels away, they'll see that you (likely) aren't what they had become attracted to.
So - if your main goal is to just get laid, PUA stuff is a great avenue to start with. If your main goal is to find a relationship, then I don't recommend that route. A few aspects of the stuff that material teaches are relevant in every situation with women, such as being decisive, confident, and knowing how to carry on a conversation. But trying to mask who you are would just tell me that you aren't confident in your true self - which makes all of the confidence you build up to be fake.
There’s a way to say things without being hateful. The post was fine...constructive...without that. “Something is seriously wrong with me.” That’s not the kind of thing I need to be telling myself in order to overcome my issues.
I agree with you. It was pretty harsh, but Levels took the time to offer you a lot of advice earlier in the thread - which you said was helpful.
As the facade peels away, they'll see that you (likely) aren't what they had become attracted to.
OP, pay attention to this. I realize it was in regards to being a PUA, but I think it very much also applies to the whole thread. That's why I recommended just being yourself.
Carefully guard against passivity and especially passive aggressiveness. These are feminine traits that are repulsive to women. As men, we all need to guard against passivity. But especially you because at least up until now you've been passive about your situation (otherwise it wouldn't have gotten to this point). And again, I'm trying to keep it real with you.
Ill even add to this, one real way to avoid passivity is to make decisions and be confident in them.
Dont hem and haw about where to go to lunch, or dinner or wherever. Find the common ground and go there.
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