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It's an old trite but very true adage
If you don't like yourself you can't expect anybody else to.
Start over and keep in mind it's not always what to do but what not to do.
You sound like you could be and attractive ( not meaning looks) date/partner so lose the negativity.
None of us would be successful if we presented our worst traits first since we all have some.
A department store opened in New York City that sold men and a woman decides to visit it in search of a husband.
At the store’s entrance, there’s a sign outlining the department store policy.
The first rule states that you can only enter the store once.
There are six floors and on each floor you can choose a husband or elect to move on to the next floor.
You cannot visit a floor more than once other than to leave the building.
The woman visits the first floor.
The sign reads:
· Men with jobs.
She moves on to the second floor:
· Men with jobs that adore children.
She moves on the the third floor where the sign reads:
· Wealthy men that adore children and are very handsome.
She thinks to herself, "that's a very good deal" yet moves on to the fourth floor:
· Wealthy men that adore children, are very handsome and help with the household chores.
She decides to move on as things are constantly improving:
· Wealthy men that adore childern, are very handsome, help with the household chores and are very romantic.
The woman is about to make her purchase but can't resist moving on to the sixth floor.
There the sign reads:
· You are visitor number 31,456,012 on this floor.
· There are no men here.
· This floor exists as proof that it is impossible to please women.
& MEN…
Opposite this department store, another department store opened that sold women. The sign on the first floor reads:
· Women that love sex.
On the second floor the sign reads:
· Women that love sex and are wealthy.
On the third floor the sign reads:
· Women that love sex, are wealthy and have large breasts.
Tamp that down a few notches, as I am seeing a man who needs to find his center.
Women seek a sense of balance in men. In fact they use the word match on here quite a bit.
Check out the book "The Givers And The Takers" by Chris Evat and Bruce Feld. Available on Amazon
Okay, I will. Anything in particular that makes me come off that way? Are we talking "I hate women, they won't date me" Nice Guy, or "I can't stand up for myself, I'm going to get run over" Nice Guy?
More of the latter I would say, although you haven't gotten up to the starting line to even worry about being run over.
And yes, you do have to be able to side-step the bad ones. There are some women who will beat you like a rug just for the exercise.
But specifically, you give out too much information about yourself initially. Look at your original post. Women (people) like to open a package a little at a time.
Men are drawn to feminine qualities. Agreed? Well, just the same, women are attracted by masculine traits, so the more of those you can incorporate, the easier time you will have. Generally, an overly ingratiating manner is not attractive to most women. This could come from trying too hard. Be spare with the information you give out in the initial stages.
Lauren Bacall said of Bogart, "There was always a piece of him I couldn't have".
A personal experience: I'm at the library, really laying it on thick to this one young lady. And then I stopped, realizing that I had her at Hello.
Enjoy the journey, not fixating on the destination. It may be awhile before you begin lining up dates, so give it some time.
It's an old trite but very true adage
If you don't like yourself you can't expect anybody else to.
Start over and keep in mind it's not always what to do but what not to do.
You sound like you could be and attractive ( not meaning looks) date/partner so lose the negativity.
None of us would be successful if we presented our worst traits first since we all have some.
People always say that and it's fairly accurate. However, I recall multiple times were I didnt really like whi I was, but was still able to get yes fromdates and or find friends.
A department store opened in New York City that sold men and a woman decides to visit it in search of a husband.
At the store’s entrance, there’s a sign outlining the department store policy.
The first rule states that you can only enter the store once.
There are six floors and on each floor you can choose a husband or elect to move on to the next floor.
You cannot visit a floor more than once other than to leave the building.
The woman visits the first floor.
The sign reads:
· Men with jobs.
She moves on to the second floor:
· Men with jobs that adore children.
She moves on the the third floor where the sign reads:
· Wealthy men that adore children and are very handsome.
She thinks to herself, "that's a very good deal" yet moves on to the fourth floor:
· Wealthy men that adore children, are very handsome and help with the household chores.
She decides to move on as things are constantly improving:
· Wealthy men that adore childern, are very handsome, help with the household chores and are very romantic.
The woman is about to make her purchase but can't resist moving on to the sixth floor.
There the sign reads:
· You are visitor number 31,456,012 on this floor.
· There are no men here.
· This floor exists as proof that it is impossible to please women.
& MEN…
Opposite this department store, another department store opened that sold women. The sign on the first floor reads:
· Women that love sex.
On the second floor the sign reads:
· Women that love sex and are wealthy.
On the third floor the sign reads:
· Women that love sex, are wealthy and have large breasts.
Not a single man has visited the fourth floor.
Honestly, not many even made it to the second floor!
It's depressing reading posts, threads like this, of course you are going to say then don't read them then, but they are very difficult to not notice, I like to feel this is been going on much longer than we think, men who go way beyond their formative years without any significant dating or relationship experience
It's depressing reading posts, threads like this, of course you are going to say then don't read them then, but they are very difficult to not notice, I like to feel this is been going on much longer than we think, men who go way beyond their formative years without any significant dating or relationship experience
Ive seen this uber beta behavior before on other relationship forums. Men that have a certain thinking that they wont let go, and wont listen to simple advise that is completely different than what their ideas are about women. Whats worse, talking to men that cant tell you what they are doing wrong, because they dont understand what it is when you ask them about it. They just want to stay comfortable in a world where they arent trying anything different.
OP, you go in caring too much. For example, I am CFBC. When I was dating, I knew the chances of finding a gal who was also CFBC was about 20%. So my initial approach, if you would even call it an approach, was to find out if *I* was going to be interested in her beyond physical appearance. I am not Joe Average, I share little DNA with such. The vast majority of women out there are not compatible. The approach should be cat-like, not happy puppy like. You are not offering yourself up without conditions. There are plenty of conditions.
If you lost 70 lbs, you were way overweight. You need to keep on hitting the gym until you move from OK, on into becoming a very fit specimen. You may have a hard time finding a good dojo, but, martial arts are wonderful for not only conditioning, but also coordination, and self-confidence. As you get into better shape, your self-confidence will also improve. Even if the local women don't appreciate your better physical condition, it will help you in all sorts of ways. Remember their failure to recognize your worth, does not reduce your intrinsic value. When you are in good enough shape, (you will know, when this is) consider yourself a new man who just fell from space. The previous you, that guy who never heard a "yes", is history. He was mercifully schlepped into a UFO, and flown away to a distant galaxy. Like a retired Legionnaire, you have no past.
What about your job? It's hard to have confidence if you are broke and expect to be laid off. This part is long-term.
Maybe work on improving your wardrobe? Hair, how's your hair and haircut? Do you have the kind of face that works better with some facial hair?
As far as not letting on that you are interested in a gal - that can be made to work. Try to find out via indirect inquiry if she's available, and if she might be interested in a guy like you. "Pre-qualify your prospects" so to speak.
All my ideas are long-term and will result in a "better you" regardless of what the ladies may think.
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