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well its 3 weeks and 1 day, it will have been a month by the time he returns on friday
he has no idea about me wanting a baby, absolutely no clue. i haven't told him anything about it, and i'm not planning to until the summer of 2020 as this will give me time to sort myself out etc
You said you discussed with him having a baby, and he said he doesn't want one until he's in his mid-30's. You've posted that you've brought it up to him more than once, and he's sticking to his timeline.
i'm never going to forget that this is how he treated me (willingly as i KNOW he has regular internet acess)
Why are you still with him? That's what's been so puzzling over the years you've been posting here. You're so unhappy with so many things about him and about the relationship.
i haven't demanded anything from him actually. i've just been sitting here for 4 whole days now not hearing anything from him. i still haven't contacted him first and im not planning to for the remainder of his vacation, except to confirm his flight arrival time on the last day of his holiday.
i told all of you guys that i wouldn't reach out to him for the rest of his vacation and im sticking by it.
this level of no contact from his is getting a bit much though
do you think he's been thinking of me?
things were so good between us when he left, i've never felt more in love with him. he was being especially kind and understanding towards me as i was looking for a new job and was unemployed. i've never known him be more patient or good to me actually
it honestly feels like out of sight, out of mind.
Ok you have not made any verbal demand TO HIM, but you are definatly demanding contact even if it isn't outspoken. I'm going to assume that whether it waits until he is back or not you will be having conversation with him in the future. I also imagine, that when you talk to your boyfriend, things like contact frequency will come up (it always does with GFs and mothers).
Your opening post comes off as very dependent of him. You don't appear to know what to do with yourself without him. That's not good. You need to have a "self" that doesn't revolve around him, for 2 reasons.
1. He needs to be able to take some space without causing a huge rift in your relationship.
2. (more importantly) You can't have your whole reality depend another person, it will hurt you in the long run.
Do you have friends? Activities you go to with any regularity?
Unemployment, when stretched for a bit will often lead to bad habits, or lack of habits. Don't let that happen. Be more than your job title or lack there of, not for him, but for yourself.
I'm not saying you need to be job hunting 24/7, or should for that matter, but don't walk around sitting on your hands.
Maybe I'm getting the wrong impression from your post, but to me it sounds like the biggest issue here is that you need to figure out you.
- You have a learning disorder or potential brain damage from being born premature with complications at birth (Did your mother pass away during the birth? If so my condolences because you haven't mentioned her) If so you have 2 physiological issues surrounding your birth which have not been addressed
- In part due to the above you have trouble maintaining employment and healthy relationships with others
How did you grow up? You say your Father is supporting you now but how come he never put you in therapy as a child? What is your country of origin and culture? Are you British? If not that's adding another layer of complexity here.
Overall though I don't think you're fit for a relationship. You have to work out your sh** before you bring another person into your life. And you are talking about bringing a baby into this world? Sheer insanity. Shut that down immediately. You can't even take care of yourself and you think you're going to be able to grant a child a happy life? If you become a parent all you are going to do is repeat the cycle. Have you ever thought of the fact that the premature births could be genetic and have you gotten checked out for that - You're going to bring another child into the world premature to suffer the same issues you've had when you haven't surmounted the problem yourself.
Guys,
My boyfriend was messaging me earlier today, we were having a conversation. He's coming to the end of his trip (he'll be coming back on Friday).
Anyway, he was talking about how he's feeling sad because his trip is coming to an end - my boyfriend had to say goodbye to the people that he's been travelling with as he's heading back to Saigon (which is where his flight departs from on friday).
Anyway, I ended up asking him who he'd been travelling with on his trip and if he had been travelling with the same people (the boy and girl) that he met when he first arrived in Vietnam. He told me that he had been travelling with the girl, but had also met lots of other people in different destinations.
I mean it's just a bit odd...
He met a boy and girl on a hostel on one of the first nights when he arrived in vietnam. They then traveled on together to a few different places, but apparently he's just told me he was travelling with the girl the whole time (for 3 weeks and 5 days).
Maybe that's fine that he had company and a travel companion etc...
I mean I don't want to jump to conclusions about anything, but I had my suspicions and my gut instinct felt off a while back. I also mentioned that he had a lot of instagram photos of himself in different places which clearly look like they were taken by someone else i.e his travel buddy and maybe it was this girl. I don't know the photos just remind me of how i would photograph him whenever we went on holiday and to tourist sights etc. Also, i don't know the way he was looking at the camera, its like you can tell he was smiling at somebody rather than just smiling for the camera. I know i'm overthinking, oh gosh i don't know
I'm not jumping to conclusions about anything. I just want to tell you guys and see what you think....
Guys,
My boyfriend was messaging me earlier today, we were having a conversation. He's coming to the end of his trip (he'll be coming back on Friday).
Anyway, he was talking about how he's feeling sad because his trip is coming to an end - my boyfriend had to say goodbye to the people that he's been travelling with as he's heading back to Saigon (which is where his flight departs from on friday).
Anyway, I ended up asking him who he'd been travelling with on his trip and if he had been travelling with the same people (the boy and girl) that he met when he first arrived in Vietnam. He told me that he had been travelling with the girl, but had also met lots of other people in different destinations.
I mean it's just a bit odd...
He met a boy and girl on a hostel on one of the first nights when he arrived in vietnam. They then traveled on together to a few different places, but apparently he's just told me he was travelling with the girl the whole time (for 3 weeks and 5 days).
Maybe that's fine that he had company and a travel companion etc...
I mean I don't want to jump to conclusions about anything, but I had my suspicions and my gut instinct felt off a while back. I also mentioned that he had a lot of instagram photos of himself in different places which clearly look like they were taken by someone else i.e his travel buddy and maybe it was this girl. I don't know the photos just remind me of how i would photograph him whenever we went on holiday and to tourist sights etc. Also, i don't know the way he was looking at the camera, its like you can tell he was smiling at somebody rather than just smiling for the camera. I know i'm overthinking, oh gosh i don't know
I'm not jumping to conclusions about anything. I just want to tell you guys and see what you think....
Jump to the obvious conclusion and start making new plans. For yourself.
i want to trust my boyfriend but things have felt off
I really don't know what to tell you because I KNOW you won't do what you need to do.
It sounds like he's been traveling on a trip with this girl in your place. I know how most people would react to that, but you are too dependent on him so you will just deal with it the way you always have when he gets back ....
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