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Old 10-24-2018, 02:33 PM
 
271 posts, read 157,280 times
Reputation: 74

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
He is living the life a guy his age is supposed to live.

Y'all have stayed together WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY past your expiration date, to the point that it's now harmful to you both emotionally.

You can't be honest with him, and he's obviously not being honest with you.

What do you want to know on Friday? What do you think he's going to tell you? And what would it take for you to make an actual change in your life?

You've stunted yourself emotionally by staying in this relationship.
well on friday i'd like to know if im not completely out of touch with reality and just making stuff up in my head or not

you do know friday is only a day away

 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
well on friday i'd like to know if im not completely out of touch with reality and just making stuff up in my head or not

you do know friday is only a day away
Yes.

He will tell you nothing happened, since that is what he already told you, and then he will get angry and throw things when you ask more questions.

What will you do then?
 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:48 PM
 
271 posts, read 157,280 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Yes.

He will tell you nothing happened, since that is what he already told you, and then he will get angry and throw things when you ask more questions.

What will you do then?
he wouldn't lie to me....

he can't even stand it when i make small white lies ... a few times this happened and he was very unforgiving

also, i probably won't be asking him more than once... if i ask him more than once about this girl after he's already given me an answer, then he'll probably think that i don't trust him.. i can't keep on bringing it up, its going to look really bad on my part and like i don't trust him and to be honest the big things is........i still don't know if i do or not!!!

if he gets angry when i ask questions then he'll make it incredibly obvious that something went on, wont he???
 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
he wouldn't lie to me....

he can't even stand it when i make small white lies ... a few times this happened and he was very unforgiving

also, i probably won't be asking him more than once... if i ask him more than once about this girl after he's already given me an answer, then he'll probably think that i don't trust him.. i can't keep on bringing it up, its going to look really bad on my part and like i don't trust him and to be honest the big things is........i still don't know if i do or not!!!

if he gets angry when i ask questions then he'll make it incredibly obvious that something went on, wont he???
Well, I hope it all goes well tomorrow when y'all reunite.
 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:54 PM
 
271 posts, read 157,280 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, I hope it all goes well tomorrow when y'all reunite.

its not tomorrow, the next day!
 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,353,101 times
Reputation: 24251
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
we'll surely he would have told this girl he had a girlfriend...

surely he couldn't be that selfish and immature

i don't know if i trust him, i 100% did trust him with all of my heart when he left for the trip, but as time went on and his communication patterns changed and he seemed less interested in me and romantic compared to usual then i started to get insecure. i also felt insecure when he told me he was travelling with another girl (and boy). also, his instagram photos - it looks like he was travelling with somebody who was taking his photos for him the whole time and i don't know it just reminds me of how i used to take photos of him when we vacationed, its like he's smiling with somebody for the photos rather than just getting his photo taken by a stranger

Why hasn't he given me any more detail about the girl he apparently travelled from Hanoi with?
Like i'd like to know if they ever travelled alone or if they were always with other people.
why would he just say "only one girl from hanoi"

why wouldn't he give me more detail?

is the fact that he hasn't given me any more detail or information just mean that its no big deal and its just me here ovethinking again... maybe he thinks its no big deal as nothing went on and that why he said "only one girl from hanoi"
Think about how you would react if your best girlfriend or a sister told you the above. How would you answer those hypothetical questions if this wasn't you?

Of course he wouldn't tell this girl about a girlfriend.
Of course he can be that selfish and immature.

Are you that naive?

He didn't give you information about the girl or any other travel companions because he doesn't want you to know the truth. He said a girl from Hanoi because it was a single girl from Hanoi--NO ONE ELSE.

No, it doesn't mean it's no big deal. He has a history of lying doesn't he? Why wouldn't he lie to you now?
 
Old 10-24-2018, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,353,101 times
Reputation: 24251
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
well hopefully by the time he's back on friday i can just let go of all of this unnecessary stress

im sure he'll ease my doubts
And this is exactly why people are telling you that you need to get some help and get over the co-dependency here. It's not healthy in the long term.

Learn to take care of yourself physically and psychologically. Be your own best friend. Learn to be comfortable being alone.
 
Old 10-24-2018, 03:00 PM
 
271 posts, read 157,280 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
Think about how you would react if your best girlfriend or a sister told you the above. How would you answer those hypothetical questions if this wasn't you?

Of course he wouldn't tell this girl about a girlfriend.
Of course he can be that selfish and immature.

Are you that naive?

He didn't give you information about the girl or any other travel companions because he doesn't want you to know the truth. He said a girl from Hanoi because it was a single girl from Hanoi--NO ONE ELSE.

No, it doesn't mean it's no big deal. He has a history of lying doesn't he? Why wouldn't he lie to you now?
Well why didnt he try to reassure me about anything if he basically just told me he'd been travelling with one girl since the very beginning

now my heads spinning out of control

this is why i was so uncertain about him going, cause he can be immature and i know he's only 22

he was renting motorbikes (without a license) getting really drunk travelling to remote rural areas climbing mountains/hills etc
 
Old 10-24-2018, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
its not tomorrow, the next day!
I never know what day it is!!!
 
Old 10-24-2018, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
... he can be immature and i know he's only 22

he was renting motorbikes (without a license) getting really drunk travelling to remote rural areas climbing mountains/hills etc
... and he's Bulgarian, commonly known to be the craziest Europeans of all.
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