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Is chivalry dead?
I went out with a guy last night who I don't want to see again but he didn't even have the decentcy to walk me to my car. Why are guys like this?
I swear most guys that I've gone out with haven't walked me to my car.
I think that is so rude. I just would think any guy who was raised right should walk you to your car whether he likes you or not, just by being a gentlemen.
My first response was, you poor girl. Some guy that you already decided not to give the time of day wouldn't even walk you to your car.
Did you walk him to his car?
OK, OK, I get it, women want men to be different. Except, you know, the things that they want them to be the same at. What women really want is equality, except when it's time to pay the bill and make her feel "special".
I know it's frustrating when you are out there, trying to find a gentleman, and it's becoming harder and harder to find. If it's any consolation, it's damn near impossible to find a lady.
Finally, to answer your question, chivalry is not dead. It's just dead in the west, where gender roles have been abandoned, because traditions are oppressive.
Last edited by Jefetio; 05-20-2008 at 12:25 PM..
Reason: my first post sucked
First, let me say chivalry is NOT dead, but it is dying. And, unfortunately, from my perspective, it is the fault of the (possibly minority of) women's libbers who demand equal rights. I can honestly say I've held a door for a woman out of courtesy (I'm leaving a bank, or other establishment, and she is coming in) and the responses I have gotten are "Thanks, but you don't think I can do that myself?" or "thanks, but I can get that" or they just go to the door I'm not holding open.
That's not discouraging to me as much as it's disappointing. I'm not a "total" gentleman, and even with my wife I told her that I normally won't open her car door for her. That's just one of the things I don't do, no reason other than it's inconvenient. I didn't want to do things in the first stages of dating I knew I wouldn't do in the long term. That's setting things up for failure or for the woman you're dating to say "you USED to (fill in the blank)."
That said, I fully believe in equal rights (equal pay for equal work), etc. But I'm in a relationship for cooperation not competition. Let me open the door, let me pull out a chair, let me stand when a woman sits or stands at a table. What's it hurt? Does it affect their pay?!?
+Hmmm... It's never been an issue for me personally, I've dated guys that just weren't raised right i.e., don't hold open doors, don't let me sit before them, don't walk me to my door / car, etc.. only maybe once did I date someone like that and that didn't last long - not because of him not doing those things but mostly because he was a butthead anyway LOL - For me too, I don't take points off if a guy isn't doing those things, I think to some people it's a little old fashioned to still do those things. For me personally, I will gladly accept the gentlemenly gestures if they exist but I don't think poorly of a guy if he doesn't know better. By the way, my fiance was raised very well and almost always opens doors, walks me places etc, so yes, chivalry is still alive and well!
Chivalry isn't dead... I'm 28, been with my wife over two years, and I still hold doors for her, pull out her chair, let her go first, etc... unless it's impractical to do so. Okay, so when we were dating, I might have opened her car door first in a snowstorm, then gone around to mine... whereas today, in those conditions, I will walk a bit faster as we get closer to the car so that I can open my door first and then hit the power lock button so that her door is unlocked by the time she gets to it... but still, I agree that if a guy doesn't make it his business to stay by your side as much as he can and treat you like a lady, you're best to throw him back and cast your line again.
My first response was, you poor girl. Some guy that you already decided not to give the time of day wouldn't even walk you to your car.
Did you walk him to his car?
OK, OK, I get it, women want men to be different. Except, you know, the things that they want them to be the same at. What women really want is equality, except when it's time to pay the bill and make her feel "special".
I know it's frustrating when you are out there, trying to find a gentleman, and it's becoming harder and harder to find. If it's any consolation, it's damn near impossible to find a lady.
Finally, to answer your question, chivalry is not dead. It's just dead in the west, where gender roles have been abandoned, because traditions are oppressive.
I didn't tell him I didn't want to go out with him again! I just think a gentlemen would walk you to your car- obviously he isn't one.
There's a lot more to chivalry (at least the historical brand) than just holding a door or walking a lady to her car. Unfortunately and unavoidably, chivalry has changed with the times. There are still practitioners of The Code, but in today's world you might be hard-pressed to recognize them.
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