Transitioning from honeymoon phase to the less enchanted phase (male, therapy, call)
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They don't treat you respectfully. A lot of it could be the places you've lived but if it happens outside of that I would wonder what is going on. Do you have curves? Sometimes that is all it takes and guys can just become so rude.
Edit- I've spent time in LA as a young woman and it was skeevy, like Weinstein was the cultural role model. But there were so many gorgeous women there it took the pressure off of us, they got the worst of it.
I have curves but I usually dress to hide them and that makes me look dumpy and overweight. Doesn't stop the harassment though.
I might add this probably happens most in lower income areas though it has happened in Beverly Hills too when I was working a delivery job in my 20s. I was all sweaty and gross in work clothes and some Australian dude started macking.
I really don't think its that I am exceptionally attractive. I think they assume I am a soft touch.
I won't quote all of the posts, but I will say this: Any man who judges a woman for having sexual experience can jump off a cliff. It is really no one's business, and as others have said, asking about sexual partners is something someone with a high school mentality would do. We often hear criticism that women cling to rescue fantasies of Prince Charming. Well, men cling to some old fantasies, too, like the one in The Great Gatsby where it says "At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete." No, women do not go from virginal to vixen in .6 seconds just because they are with a particular man who is oh so utterly irresistible that he brings that out in them. That whole line of thinking stems from a need to overpower women via female sexual desire. "She can resist others, but she cannot resist ME because I am so virile and strong. She cannot control herself. She is helpless to resist in my presence."
No thank you.
It goes both ways, where women want to exert control over men by "reining in" ladies' men and Don Juans. Again, no thank you.
As for L.A. I went there as a tourist a long time ago. People were more forward there, at least at the time. That was where random people on the street would tell me I look like Gretchen Mol, and a few people even confused me for her--not that I am complaining!
I have curves but I usually dress to hide them and that makes me look dumpy and overweight. Doesn't stop the harassment though.
I might add this probably happens most in lower income areas though it has happened in Beverly Hills too when I was working a delivery job in my 20s. I was all sweaty and gross in work clothes and some Australian dude started macking.
I really don't think its that I am exceptionally attractive. I think they assume I am a soft touch.
I don't think I'd consider refusing or ignoring catcalls as "turning someone down." It's part of the swamp that is young womanhood, especially in areas like moon girl said. My teens and 20s were a wall of catcalls (and implied threat) and I dressed like a hobo, never did my hair, had no makeup and had a good figure in my t shirt and jeans.
But I wouldn't count each time as a "turn down." It's part of the noise wall of young womanhood, at least I've seen it that way.
But say I am 40 years old and I have had 40 partners and I started when I was 20. This is roughly true.
40 sounds like a lot! But that's an average of 2 guys per year. That actually seems pretty conservative to me. And I have probably turned down 4000 men even though I have that "40" body count.
But the guy doesn't think about the 4000 men I rejected. All he can think about is the 40 that got access to his territory. Its a very territorial thing.
Lots of catch 22s out there in relationships.
I agreed, there may be a feminine tendency to demand the impossible as well.
Again there are many reasons why men will hesitate. Once a year is not a history of stable relationships. The other problem is what men will call the alpha widow. You will want to replace the best man you were with. That means the next guy must compare to 40 other men. So they would worry about this.
I can relate to this because I broke it off with a girl , and not long after I was getting attention from a girl that looked a lot like her, but a bit less attractive. it was uncanny that she was the same type. I just could not get it out of my mind that I'd go from a Caddy to a Buick . So she was friend zoned, and after a few months , she lives now only in my memories. Yeah I was kind of done with girls somewhat , but I remember this feeling vividly.
They don't treat you respectfully. A lot of it could be the places you've lived but if it happens outside of that I would wonder what is going on. Do you have curves? Sometimes that is all it takes and guys can just become so rude.
Edit- I've spent time in LA as a young woman and it was skeevy, like Weinstein was the cultural role model. But there were so many gorgeous women there it took the pressure off of us, they got the worst of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seija
I won't quote all of the posts, but I will say this: Any man who judges a woman for having sexual experience can jump off a cliff. It is really no one's business, and as others have said, asking about sexual partners is something someone with a high school mentality would do. We often hear criticism that women cling to rescue fantasies of Prince Charming. Well, men cling to some old fantasies, too, like the one in The Great Gatsby where it says "At his lips’ touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete." No, women do not go from virginal to vixen in .6 seconds just because they are with a particular man who is oh so utterly irresistible that he brings that out in them. That whole line of thinking stems from a need to overpower women via female sexual desire. "She can resist others, but she cannot resist ME because I am so virile and strong. She cannot control herself. She is helpless to resist in my presence."
No thank you.
It goes both ways, where women want to exert control over men by "reining in" ladies' men and Don Juans. Again, no thank you.
As for L.A. I went there as a tourist a long time ago. People were more forward there, at least at the time. That was where random people on the street would tell me I look like Gretchen Mol, and a few people even confused me for her--not that I am complaining!
Gretchen Mol is gorgeous!
Thank you for your wise words. I always enjoy your feedback!
My closest doppelganger celebrity wise is probably Britney Spears. I've had people brake hard and stop and photograph me when I was in areas Britney might be. I think they thought I was her maybe. (Also told I look like her.)
My mom is Susan Sarandon's doppelganger. People have freaked out seeing her, omg Susan Sarandon?
That said I usually go around really casual, not showing off figure or anything. Not inviting attention.
Sorry to go OT but this discussion has just been interesting.
Last edited by moongirl00; 02-25-2022 at 04:02 PM..
Again there are many reasons why men will hesitate. Once a year is not a history of stable relationships. The other problem is what men will call the alpha widow. You will want to replace the best man you were with. That means the next guy must compare to 40 other men. So they would worry about this.
I can relate to this because I broke it off with a girl , and not long after I was getting attention from a girl that looked a lot like her, but a bit less attractive. it was uncanny that she was the same type. I just could not get it out of my mind that I'd go from a Caddy to a Buick . So she was friend zoned, and after a few months , she lives now only in my memories. Yeah I was kind of done with girls somewhat , but I remember this feeling vividly.
Well there may be something to it. I can't guarantee I won't get sexually bored after a couple years..... because it has been my pattern to do just that.
But as I get older it gets more likely I am settling down. Ready for something more stable.
But would a man see it as a net positive that I have all this experience that made me good in bed and he can now benefit from it?
Well there may be something to it. I can't guarantee I won't get sexually bored after a couple years..... because it has been my pattern to do just that.
But as I get older it gets more likely I am settling down. Ready for something more stable.
But would a man see it as a net positive that I have all this experience that made me good in bed and he can now benefit from it?
Or just see me as damaged goods?
I would see you as someone who is never genuinely satisfied - has a 'grass is always greener' mentality - and who would leave in a flash. To wit: untrustworthy.
Thank you for your wise words. I always enjoy your feedback!
My closest doppelganger celebrity wise is probably Britney Spears. I've had people brake hard and stop and photograph me when I was in areas Britney might be. I think they thought I was her maybe. (Also told I look like her.)
My mom is Susan Sarandon's doppelganger. People have freaked out seeing her, omg Susan Sarandon?
That said I usually go around really casual, not showing off figure or anything. Not inviting attention.
Sorry to go OT but this discussion has just been interesting.
My doppelganger was Christian Slater, particularly in the two heather and pump up the volume days. I sound like him too. I guess when you blow air in something of similar shape a horn sounds like a horn. It was two girls in a college that told me to see the movie. I got it all the time in in my college years. Lot of good it did me, speaking of doppelgangers . I was hanging out with a Salma Hayek type , but another guy she knew much longer looked like Charlie Sheen and married him. Just as well, I had no idea how i was going to pay for it anyway,
But my wife turned out to be a Scarlett Johansson doppel.
My high school boyfriend told my father I looked like Barbi Benton (a Playboy pinup from the 1970s) and my father demanded, "How did you know" and boyfriend stammered, ..."in the face."
My high school boyfriend told my father I looked like Barbi Benton (a Playboy pinup from the 1970s) and my father demanded, "How did you know" and boyfriend stammered, ..."in the face."
LOL... I remember her from a silly horror job called 'XRAY'... fun mindless entertainment.
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