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I have realized I'm going to have to start looking for a different type of man if I want something long term now.
I had a date yesterday with someone new and he's a great example. He said he is looking for a serious relationship, he's not into playing the field and wants a cozy calm domestic situation. Divorced with no kids. Perfect!
He is the same age as the last guy but already I can see he's more mature and at a different place. The last guy is very much still wanting to sow his oats. I knew this all along but had some tiny hope he would change his mind.
So the new guy and I had a nice date, he brought me a rose, was a perfect gentleman, told me his intentions, there were no obvious deal breakers or red flags. Nothing but green flags! If I am ready now to build something long term and stable with someone, this is the kind of guy to look for.
So there I learned something. I am excited to see where things go with him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00
Dating app. Same way I met the last one.
But this morning he texted a picture of himself topless and asked if I want to come over some night.
/sigh
I told him we have to keep meeting in public while we get to know each other. Maybe he's just another boy after all.
If he is interested in seriously dating I'd expect him to invite me to a restaurant. Not just "hey wanna come over?"
You just ended a year long relationship on Friday and you’re out on a date with a new guy the next night.
“Nothing but green flags!” last night until they suddenly turned red by this morning.
You just ended a year long relationship on Friday and you’re out on a date with a new guy the next night.
“Nothing but green flags!” last night until they suddenly turned red by this morning.
What on earth is your hurry?
I just hopped back on the dating app to see who is there. I have a lot of free time at the moment and am a bit bored. I don't know, I thought it would be nice to find a nice companion. Someone to go out to restaurants with especially now that things are opening up.
I would just like some companionship I guess. Life is slow and a bit lonely.
The trick is weeding out the pervs. So many men just come across as sex crazy. Where are the calm intellectual ones? Am I expecting the impossible? I just want to get to know someone and have conversations and form a bond.
It seems like they usually assume I am dumb too. So its like they try to dumb down conversation or act surprised if I express an original or less than vapid thought.
Venting!
Its just slim pickings. I have to put time and effort in if I hope at all to find a decent guy in this huge pile of riff raff.
I just hopped back on the dating app to see who is there. I have a lot of free time at the moment and am a bit bored. I don't know, I thought it would be nice to find a nice companion. Someone to go out to restaurants with especially now that things are opening up.
I would just like some companionship I guess. Life is slow and a bit lonely.
The trick is weeding out the pervs. So many men just come across as sex crazy. Where are the calm intellectual ones? Am I expecting the impossible? I just want to get to know someone and have conversations and form a bond.
It seems like they usually assume I am dumb too. So its like they try to dumb down conversation or act surprised if I express an original or less than vapid thought.
Venting!
Its just slim pickings. I have to put time and effort in if I hope at all to find a decent guy in this huge pile of riff raff.
Have you ever considered that maybe you’re not emotionally ready after 1 day to be looking for someone new? How did life get so lonely in 24 hours?
If your head isn’t in the right space, you aren’t going to attract quality men.
Have you ever considered that maybe you’re not emotionally ready after 1 day to be looking for someone new? How did life get so lonely in 24 hours?
If your head isn’t in the right space, you aren’t going to attract quality men.
Good point. I don't really feel that interested in any of these guys. I had such a good connection with the last guy that it's going to be hard for most guys to compete with that.
But it doesn't hurt to try. What do I have to lose? It might be frustrating but I just have to keep next ing all the duds until I find the guy that's not a dud?
All I am doing is sitting home in either case. I am confident in my ability to say no to unwanted sexual advances.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Being in the right head space, mentally and emotionally, to connect with someone is just as important as meeting the "correct" person. People can and do meet people that at another time and space would be a fantastic match, but they aren't then. It's not like there is a "the one" and no matter what else is going on its going to work. I've seen this over and over with people, and most admit it and say "if I met them 6 months earlier, this wouldn't have gone anywhere". The last wedding I went to was a situation like that. Quite common.
Being in the right head space, mentally and emotionally, to connect with someone is just as important as meeting the "correct" person. People can and do meet people that at another time and space would be a fantastic match, but they aren't then. It's not like there is a "the one" and no matter what else is going on its going to work. I've seen this over and over with people, and most admit it and say "if I met them 6 months earlier, this wouldn't have gone anywhere". The last wedding I went to was a situation like that. Quite common.
I see what you mean. As long as I am at all caught up still with this last guy I am not at all emotionally available.
Never underestimate how intuitive people are: that's a lesson I have learned.
People sense it. I am going to be half assing it until that last guy is out of my system.
I see what you mean. As long as I am at all caught up still with this last guy I am not at all emotionally available.
Never underestimate how intuitive people are: that's a lesson I have learned.
People sense it. I am going to be half assing it until that last guy is out of my system.
Probably would be better to not date and half ass it as you say. Its not fair to either yourself or him. Your judgement may be skewed and you may be judging the guy in front of you through a filter that you may not even be aware of.
Probably would be better to not date and half ass it as you say. Its not fair to either yourself or him. Your judgement may be skewed and you may be judging the guy in front of you through a filter that you may not even be aware of.
Just a thought.
I agree. I tried before (last fall) to just sit things out and get over this guy, and ended up contacting him after 2 months.
I guess I was hoping I could replace him so that won't happen again but tbh I was bored on my date on Saturday. Maybe if I were in a different head space I wouldn't have been.
Maybe I need to find a different distraction that doesn't involve pulling innocent people in. My intentions were good but I'm not ready.
I agree. I tried before (last fall) to just sit things out and get over this guy, and ended up contacting him after 2 months.
I guess I was hoping I could replace him so that won't happen again but tbh I was bored on my date on Saturday. Maybe if I were in a different head space I wouldn't have been.
Maybe I need to find a different distraction that doesn't involve pulling innocent people in. My intentions were good but I'm not ready.
Yeah, just letting you know I wasn't judging you. You probably should take bench as the sports metaphor goes and lay off for a bit.
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boy after all.
