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If 25% have that means that 75% have not - 75% is most.
So rather than just adding to the us vs them debate, and linking Artciles like these which are force fed to us constantly. How about linknig the ones that say 1/7 men or 13% of the male population have had exactly the same problem - which everyone chooses to pretty much ignore.
Or having an open discussion about how the very obvious reciprocal obligation, is that females also have to keep their men safe in a domestic setting?
Oh amd Domestic violence is still domestic violence no matter who the perpatrotor is and what they actaully do.
ITS 100% AN APPLES TO APPLES COMPARISON, and until society can get their head around this fact, I will continue to love my wife , family and children forever and gladly take a bullet for them, - but the rest of you are on your own.
Women, all women must take it upon themselves to keep their safety at the forefront, in any circumstance without unnecessary fear. Assuming there is a relationship, a man's roil would be to enhance her safety.
If 25% have that means that 75% have not - 75% is most.
So rather than just adding to the us vs them debate, and linking Artciles like these which are force fed to us constantly. How about linknig the ones that say 1/7 men or 13% of the male population have had exactly the same problem - which everyone chooses to pretty much ignore.
Or having an open discussion about how the very obvious reciprocal obligation, is that females also have to keep their men safe in a domestic setting?
The point is men have always been a threat to women and children to a significant degree. Assuming the majority of the male population has been making their partner and children feel safe is somewhat of an assumption. I guess one doesn't really need statistics if they take notice of the world around them it is obvious.
Not an us vs. them, just the way it is. I don't think I said women should not have a reciprocal obligation. Actually, I said to the effect every person should have an obligation to make those more vulnerable safe.
I was simply minding my business. When I looked into the crowd looking for my group of friends we made eye contact. I only nodded politely and continued doing my thing. Like I said, sad thing is that society automatically assume a man is wrong and a woman is innocent in situations like these.
Someone sent me an anonymous message telling me I was a jerk for raising the volume of my voice. Again, another person automatically siding with the woman who followed me all the way to the 3rd floor of the shopping mall to approach me and ask me "Where are you from?...You are coming with me" and then having me wave at the security guard to ask him to assist us who also automatically took her side even though I was the one who asked for help.
It may be sad but what do you honestly expect when throughout our entire history the vast majority of the time it has been the man who abuses, assaults, etc. the woman?
There is an assumption that the man is the provider and head of the household because throughout our entire history the vast majority of the time it has been so. We assume that the woman is the nurturer and caregiver because throughout our entire history the vast majority of the time she was.
Things have changed but we tend to have beliefs and hold on to things that have always been so.
Using a walking style boating rule without a horn... "In a robust voice easily heard... coming through, passing on the left, left my horn home, but using my blinker".
I think almost anybody would be wary in a situation like hers... getting dark, in a park with nobody around and hearing fast footsteps behind.
Especially for a woman, that is pretty much the most dangerous situation to be in. Being accosted, raped in a park when it's getting dark is one of the most common incidents when it comes to man on woman crimes.
And that is exactly how a lot of horror movies and murder mysteries begin.
I think almost anybody would be wary in a situation like hers... getting dark, in a park with nobody around and hearing fast footsteps behind.
Especially for a woman, that is pretty much the most dangerous situation to be in. Being accosted, raped in a park when it's getting dark is one of the most common incidents when it comes to man on woman crimes.
I agree with the others. Don't take it personal, for all you know she may have been accosted before or know of others who have.
The only thing you could have done is to walk slower and stay a good distance away from her.
Unless you were in a rush, or the walk through the park is long, that would be a reasonable thing to do.
Just gotta say real quick...no, it's not.
Those kinds of stranger on stranger violent crimes are relatively rare and when they happen it's much more often men victimizing other men. (Not necessarily rape, but violent assault.)
What is FAR more common is being harmed by someone you know, particularly a member of your household. The most dangerous person in a woman's life by the stats, in terms of harming or killing her, is a current or former intimate partner. Another stat of interest to me is that a significant number of mass shooters had a history of DV prior to the shooting incident that either ended them or put them in jail.
Violent people usually target those closest to them first. Note that I say, "people" and not "men" there. Because most of that unreported violence against boys/men is coming from their girlfriends, wives, moms, etc.
Growing up, I had a head full of "stranger danger" stories and the idea that the very definition of rape was some rando jumping out of a bush or alley at me. The phrase "date rape" hadn't been spoken in my hearing at the point where it actually happened to me at age 15, so I did not even really think of it as a rape, sexual assault, or in the realm of consent violation. I pinned the entire fault on myself. And while I can be more responsible for my safety than I was at that time, and I did learn a valuable lesson from the incident...it really was not strictly my own fault that it happened. And I had to expand my understanding of consent and consent violations, in order to really get my head around that fact.
Otherwise though you are correct, it's entirely reasonable for a woman in such a setting to be on alert about any strangers around her, and the OP really should not take it personally.
Last edited by Sonic_Spork; 03-25-2024 at 10:51 AM..
And too many men don't think about that. Because they don't have bad intent themselves, they don't think about it.
Not only doesn't it 'register' to most men, but because men are solution oriented we tend to suggest the easy fix first. That would be... don't put yourselves in potentially compromising situations.
Then you what what happens... an argument will occur.
Last edited by Dave_n_Tenn; 03-25-2024 at 10:49 AM..
Women, all women must take it upon themselves to keep their safety at the forefront, in any circumstance without unnecessary fear. Assuming there is a relationship, a man's roil would be to enhance her safety.
My physical safety was always, always forefront in my mind and my decision making about whether to spend time with a man who showed interest.
It's why I didn't go out with someone unless I'd known him socially for at least 6 months, preferably a year.
And most often if/when we did go out, the first outing was with others, not a solo date of just us two alone. Too much stuff can happen, even with someone you think you know.
Women, men, people in general need to make level-headed decisions about their behavior and who they choose to associate with, especially if they're going to be alone at any point.
People let their emotions and desires get the best of them sometimes and caution and common sense fly out the window. Then they wonder what the heck happened when things go wrong or don't work out. Or even danger happens.
Grown women and men have the social contract obligation to conduct themselves in a way that isn't threatening.
One time my husband and I stopped by a little bar at a lakeside vacation resort. The place was mostly empty and comfortable feeling, nice bartender.
Then a woman and two men came in and sat at the bar giving off really dangerous vibes, especially the woman. We immediately went to red alert, as did the bartender, he seemed to know these lovely people. Several people left.
The three of them started talking aggressively in loud voices making threats against each other, it didn't seem like it would take long for their aggression to turn outward.
We left. Poor bartender, he was the only one left in the place, alone with those three. Hope he was okay.
But of the three the woman was the scariest, seemed to be looking for a fight, or a brawl. The guys were her backup.
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