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but... that's the low hanging fruit. First and foremost it's the personal responsibility of 'anyone' to know where threats many emanate from. Situational awareness is something you develop.
As a man I have NO responsibility to make any woman I don't know to feel safe. However as a human being I should be thoughtful enough to point out the obvious... even if it offends someone.
Might go something like this...
"I saw some seeding looking people down there"
!. "hey, mind your own business I can take care of myself"
or
2. "thanks for the heads up, appreciate that"
I think most thinking people would agree with that - situational awareness for anyone. I don't believe it is really what we are talking about here though.
For instance the woman walking alone in the park and a guy is walking behind her gaining. She isn't oblivious, she IS being aware. If that were me, I would move over to the side giving a wide berth, stop and start talking on my phone while keeping an eye on him. It would be nice if the guy was considerate enough not to make her feel she has to do that though. It's the more vulnerable who have to be the most aware, but maybe we can share the burden a little too.
I become even more aware as I get older. I do feel a social responsibility for making those more vulnerable than myself feel safe. Older women will often look out for younger women being creeped on, a girl or young woman can come up to me any time and I'll pretend to be her mom or grandma or auntie to help get rid of a creep. It's a kind of girl code out there.
As far as others feeling no responsibility to help those around us feel safe, I think we should look out for each other a little more.
In the sense that women choose a man that makes them feel safe or secure, studies have shown that women are naturally attracted to tall and physically fit men .Men that have a certain look and Physical make up are chosen by the majority of women for these qualities. it is a natural Biological and sometimes genetic trait. They want a man who they feel can protect , provide and be nurturing at the same time. So, if the man agrees to the union than it is his responsibility to live up to the agreement.
However a man does not have the responsibility to protect anyone else outside of this relationship except maybe in his extended family , he can be held accountable for not offering or helping in the wider sense of his interactions with females in his everyday life , they may not want it, they may not need it, they not may ask for it.
In general we know that men are physically stronger then women and should not take advantage of this fact. They should do what is is for the good of all.
Does man have the responsibility to protect women from self inflicted harm , destructive tendencies and from harming others ? yes and no , Yes if can do this without getting arrested, getting a restraining order, accused of abuse, being forced to take anger management classes and ending up in court.
No if if puts himself in any of the above situations and Dangers.
I think most thinking people would agree with that - situational awareness for anyone. I don't believe it is really what we are talking about here though.
For instance the woman walking alone in the park and a guy is walking behind her gaining. She isn't oblivious, she IS being aware. If that were me, I would move over to the side giving a wide berth, stop and start talking on my phone while keeping an eye on him. It would be nice if the guy was considerate enough not to make her feel she has to do that though. It's the more vulnerable who have to be the most aware, but maybe we can share the burden a little too.
I become even more aware as I get older. I do feel a social responsibility for making those more vulnerable than myself feel safe. Older women will often look out for younger women being creeped on, a girl or young woman can come up to me any time and I'll pretend to be her mom or grandma or auntie to help get rid of a creep. It's a kind of girl code out there.
As far as others feeling no responsibility to help those around us feel safe, I think we should look out for each other a little more.
Would picking the right park at the right time of day be 'more aware'? so your personal safety is better mitigated? Spotting Danger Before it Spots You... it's a book. There are levels of situational awareness... The ones a person CAN prepare for and one a person respond to.
Feeling safe begins with being physically and mentally competent, within your circumstance. If a person consistently finds themselves in an unsafe environment, is worrying all the time or finds the world a constant threat... then it's you.
A man only has a responsibility to make HIS woman feel safe. Do you guys know for example, that in the west a man is more likely to be assaulted in public than a woman? But women always have and always will feel unsafe around random men in public, because of innate differences in strength and levels of aggression, especially at the end of the spectrum. If you pick a random man and a random woman from US population, there is a 60% chance the man will be more aggressive and violent. But if you pick the 100 most aggressive and most violent people from the same pool, all 100 will be male.
The point is men have always been a threat to women and children to a significant degree. Assuming the majority of the male population has been making their partner and children feel safe is somewhat of an assumption. I guess one doesn't really need statistics if they take notice of the world around them it is obvious.
Not an us vs. them, just the way it is. I don't think I said women should not have a reciprocal obligation. Actually, I said to the effect every person should have an obligation to make those more vulnerable safe.
Do you like the fact that a lot of the male commentors here are saying that a strange women’s safety is not of their concern? Are you happy with the way it is?
Oh and its very much an 100% us vs them - the pathetically sexist comment i got by someone who wished to remain anonymous in reps, for daring to even suggest males can be the victims of domestic violence, pays homage to that.
Last edited by danielsa1775; 03-25-2024 at 06:14 PM..
I think most thinking people would agree with that - situational awareness for anyone. I don't believe it is really what we are talking about here though.
For instance the woman walking alone in the park and a guy is walking behind her gaining. She isn't oblivious, she IS being aware. If that were me, I would move over to the side giving a wide berth, stop and start talking on my phone while keeping an eye on him. It would be nice if the guy was considerate enough not to make her feel she has to do that though. It's the more vulnerable who have to be the most aware, but maybe we can share the burden a little too.
I become even more aware as I get older. I do feel a social responsibility for making those more vulnerable than myself feel safe. Older women will often look out for younger women being creeped on, a girl or young woman can come up to me any time and I'll pretend to be her mom or grandma or auntie to help get rid of a creep. It's a kind of girl code out there.
As far as others feeling no responsibility to help those around us feel safe, I think we should look out for each other a little more.
In 2024 we are even debating things like weather its approprate to offer a pregant women a seat on a train or not . Quite simply the days of "Treating a lady like a Lady" are either long gone or dying.
In 2024 we are even debating things like weather its approprate to offer a pregant women a seat on a train or not . Quite simply the days of "Treating a lady like a Lady" are either long gone or dying.
Offering a seat to a pregnant woman has nothing to do with gender.
It has to do with offering a seat to a person who physically needs it more.
An older person of any gender for example.
I feel zero need to offer a capable woman a seat on the train, she probably is more capable of standing than I am.
Offering a seat to a pregnant woman has nothing to do with gender.
It has to do with offering a seat to a person who physically needs it more.
An older person of any gender for example.
I feel zero need to offer a capable woman a seat on the train, she probably is more capable of standing than I am.
I am one of those "old Fashioned" people who think that its only possible for women to get pregnant.
Call it offering a seat to a person who physically needs it more if you like, - it’s still an old style traditional mannerism that is dying a slow death.
I am one of those "old Fashioned" people who think that its only possible for women to get pregnant.
Call it offering a seat to a person who physically needs it more if you like, - it’s still an old style traditional mannerism that is dying a slow death.
You are missing the point in it's entirety.
Offering a seat to somebody (ANY GENDER) who NEEDS IT MORE includes a pregnant lady. The seat is offered to her because of her greater need for a seat due to pregnancy not because she is female.
I understand your need to hold onto the "good old ways". But modern ways pretty much states that men and women should be equal and therefore they do not need your seat and can stand on their own strong legs TYVM.
Offering a seat to somebody (ANY GENDER) who NEEDS IT MORE includes a pregnant lady. The seat is offered to her because of her greater need for a seat due to pregnancy not because she is female.
I understand your need to hold onto the "good old ways". But modern ways pretty much states that men and women should be equal and therefore they do not need your seat and can stand on their own strong legs TYVM.
I understand what you are saying, the reverse seems to be the problem.
So let me put it in simpler terms.
If The statement "men and women should be equal and therefore they do not need your seat and can stand on their own strong legs" is taken so litterally , that we end up in a situation where nobody is offering a pregant women a seat because she is not/ cannot be considered of lesser physical status a good thing?
Because that is the way we are heading IMOHO.
Last edited by danielsa1775; 03-25-2024 at 07:53 PM..
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