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I have known enough "creepy" good-looking guys to be a bit wary of handsome men.
They generally are not classified as creepy . There is a good reason for this. With the exception of the statistical outliers with a Marque De Sade like drives , there is no reason why the charming sociopath needs to force it. Yes one may be wary of them, but its not "a creep" like presence to women generally speaking.
If a very attractive women approached me aggressively, for example, I too would be wary thinking spy or a distraction. I would not feel that other kind of uneasiness...to the extent that this translates between the sexes.
Oh, yes, some definitely are. They know they're good-looking, and believe as you said, that the rules don't apply to them, so they'll tend to push the envelope. They'll be inappropriate in some way, thinking they can get away with it. They won't observe the usual good boundaries in some way, and will cross into the "creep" zone. This puts women off, unless they themselves don't have good boundaries, being needy of attention without the ability to spot red flags.
If he is pushing the boundaries, he is not typically particularly attractive. You are confusing this with he thinks he is attractive. Women do give more attractive men more invitations and more passes to just about everything. Generally this is true of all good looking people. However men just say ugly, while women can use the label "creepy" without the social penalty of being "superficial" .
If he is pushing the boundaries, he is not typically particularly attractive. You are confusing this with he thinks he is attractive. Women do give more attractive men more invitations and more passes to just about everything. Generally this is true of all good looking people. However men just say ugly, while women can use the label "creepy" without the social penalty of being "superficial" .
There have been several studies showing that men typically over evaluate their attractiveness (to women) while women more or less are spot on with their own self assessments.
I think I didn't describe it correctly. She was working/studying for maybe 20 minutes, then she put on her headphones and watched some movie/s the whole time..
Anyway, I guess this does not change anything and the best move here is to just move on
You had an opportunity to make a short comment on the movie she watched and see her reaction. But you didn't.
It could have been a beginning of a conversation.
Now it's just a missed opportunity
Hope you learned your lesson.
You don't get to define what I think is creepy.
Has NOTHING to do with attractiveness.
And the OP was creepy... without even knowing what he looks like.
Exactly. I dont know why some men think they know what women think or feel and proceed to tell us we are wrong and they know our individual minds better than we do ourselves.
Creepy has nothing to do with attractiveness or lack of attractiveness.
Women are more open to being approached by a man they feel is physically attractive. THE SAME AS MEN ARE. That in no way means a person is going to ignore everything else like emotional unattractiveness, behavior, and creepiness. Attractiveness is gaged by more than the eyes.
There have been several studies showing that men typically over evaluate their attractiveness (to women) while women more or less are spot on with their own self assessments.
Go ahead and cite one of them.
Men who approach are already in a selection bias. Men that think they are more attractive than they are will make more approaches and they will approach more attractive women. Men who under estimate themselves will make fewer approaches. Women that approach have the same problem. They think men want to do the chasing. Not true. Its simply that the one being approached already has information that they are attractive.
So I would ask if they did a multi variant study showing sex vs the one that makes the approach.
I also might add that men benefit more from more social deception. Women use make up for their form of deception , but men are incentivized to act like they have value by trying to fake social proof.
So I would have to see the actual study.
However returning to an attractive man in fact, women will not rate him so often as creepy. We have studies on that.
Does this surprise anyone? People have been talking about this effect ever since Gone With the Wind came out. Please don't tell me about all the other factors that an attractive man can act creepy. I know,. It just proves in isolation its a factor.
Though it is worth pointing out something we also already know. When women feel like they are not in a corner, even less attractive men will not creep them out.
You don't get to define what I think is creepy.
Has NOTHING to do with attractiveness.
And the OP was creepy... without even knowing what he looks like.
You are right .I may not define what you think is creepy. However that was not the aim of my comment. I just don't give much weight to your anecdote. To be more clear, I do not buy what you said that how he looks will not play on you mind the same way you can look at an action in isolation. Yes, looking at a woman's computer screen is a "creepy" act in isolation. Contacting her afterwords is even more so. However like I said, he could get away with it if he was a rock star.
Although it is interesting to note that the man may be considered intrusive to initiate contact. Once a relationship is made then typically the woman often tests boundaries by say looking at his personal data.
That's nature. Men are trying to find women and women are trying to vet the men. Boundaries will be crossed.
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