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People SHOULD, but from my personal experiences, they don't. I have always been left for an ex, so I have never experienced true, lasting love. I can, however, say that I am forced to love a man who is still pining after his girlfriend from four years ago-that pain is actually what brought me to this thread lol.
Seeing her posts on social media and knowing that this is the face he loves, this is the smile that breaks his heart, this is the child that he wishes were his-it kills me everyday. Our time together feels like a lie as if I were merely a placeholder until she returned; which she never did.
I don't think people should be in relationships if they are still in mourning of their ex. Every time you begin a new relationship, you should begin with a new mindset and an empty heart, y'know? Each person that you are with should BECOME your first love, because with every love, we learn new things; we have new experiences, we make special memories. No one should have to be compared and forced to suffer the pain that I am currently suffering.
In short, I guess my experiences had lead me to believe opposite of what I want to believe.
I WANT to believe that in time, we forget our past loves because we find the one person who encompasses beauty, power, strength and intelligence. Everyone from our past fades away and we give our hearts to this perfect being who, if given the chance, we would use as the basis for the entire human race because we would then have a perfect, peaceful society filled with the infinite pleasures of true romance....
And we wouldn't hate people so much
I ACTUALLY believe from my painful relationships that we use our first loves as life-sized cookie cutters. We attempt to shape and mold subsequent loves into our "first," because no one will be as perfect. Our hearts will forever be intertwined with tat one person, and we are unable to see the sunshine that follows the hurricane. No one will be as loved, no one will be as valuable, because that person from our past will prevail.
I've heard that many times your first love is your real true love.
When I hear stories of still thinking of her/him after 20, 30 or 50 years and longing and wondering about the person, I'm not surprised, because the heart does not know time, just knows what it feels, real love has a power - real true power, it's amazing, a gift. There's nothing like the Power of Love.
It's sad to hear that your wife gets so upset evert month and tells you that your longing to be with your first love. I wonder why she's doing this and keeps reminding you, like you said you probably wouldn't think of first love if she didn't keep bringing it up.
That's sweet you and your Dad had a nice talk, I know what you mean about telling the child something so personal, sounds like he feels close to you and that's why he opened up about his first love.
So, I was with someone for many years, great guy, that wanted to get married and I guess I was the love of his life. (I loved him but wasn't in love) Long story short, he married someone else (on the rebound) never stopped telling her about me, and she still tells him, that he should have married me. (this has gotton back to me through a close mutual friend).
What's annoying here is I don't like being the one that's brought up as a source of their bickering. I said, to our mutual friend, I hope his wife knows I gave him back his engagement ring, the reason was because I was still in love with my first love and in hopes we may be together again.
Love there is no path . . . Just follow your Heart . . .
First loves are powerful. I've never gotten over mine and I don't think I have loved as purely since. We were young and immature and he played too many games, but we loved each other. Oh God, how we did. Its amazing how the heart never forgets.
Still keep in touch with my first, mainly through facebook. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy and she is. Married almost 40 years, 2 kids, one grandchild.
While most of you have no regrets about not being with your first love, my story is quite the opposite. I've posted this here before, so if you've read it, please bare with me. I met my first love in high school and we were together for three years. As almost all young lovers do, we went our separate ways, both got married and had kids, but I never forgot her. We only saw each other twice over a 28 year span, and both times I stunned at how beautiful she still was, and how much everything would just rush back to me instantly. Everything between us was just so easy, it was like no time had gone by at all.
I reached out to her while I was going through my divorce, we met for coffee, and everything just clicked perfectly. We've been together a year now, and it's been the best year of my life. She was my first love, and she'll be my last, but I like to think of her as my ONLY true love. We're now living together and are planning to get married in a year or two, and I couldn't be happier. She's truly the love of my life and my best friend. I always used to think of her as the one that got away, but she's not that any longer - now she's just "the one."
Anyway, that's my story. First love is, in many cases, our only true love, and I hope that some of you get to experience the type of "first love renewed" the way I have.
Last edited by treasurekidd; 07-10-2016 at 12:21 PM..
Yup, go over him a long time ago. Really, there was nothing to "get over"; we had an amicable parting and both eventually ended up with spouses who are better suited for the long haul than he and I would have been.
Still keep in touch with my first, mainly through facebook. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy and she is. Married almost 40 years, 2 kids, one grandchild.
Wow, how could you manage to keep in touch and maintain a platonic friendship? Do you not still harbor strong feelings for her?
She was the only one in my past that I didn't remain friends with..... it was a bad breakup. My only bad one
It was a powerful feeling and I emerged with a "don't give a crap about what other's think" attitude afterwards... I rebelled a little late but I did so very hard.
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