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View Poll Results: Do you know anyone over 45 who have never dated?
Yes, it is very common 3 7.32%
No, unless they are mentally ill, we have needs! 28 68.29%
How would I know? 10 24.39%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-03-2016, 03:56 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,721,626 times
Reputation: 16662

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
Hence " in my circle " ......

3 guesses what that means mate?

Incidentally what's it matter to you who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend in their 30s anyway? FA to do with you or anyone else is it?
Please don't get him started.

He has it in his head that if a person hasn't had sex by their late teens or early 20s it's too late. He is obsessed that men have it way worse than women ect. etc. My point is, don't waste your breath he's not gonna listen and he'll just repeat it over and over that life is not fair for men blah blah. You know the drill.

Whining and crying over something trivial and nonexistent.
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Old 07-03-2016, 04:02 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,527,305 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Please don't get him started.

He has it in his head that if a person hasn't had sex by their late teens or early 20s it's too late. He is obsessed that men have it way worse than women ect. etc. My point is, don't waste your breath he's not gonna listen and he'll just repeat it over and over that life is not fair for men blah blah. You know the drill.

Whining and crying over something trivial and nonexistent.
I've not come across him before

yes the doctor says my brain will dislodge if I bang my head up a brick wall again so as its you I'll drop it
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Old 07-03-2016, 04:15 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,721,626 times
Reputation: 16662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
I've not come across him before

yes the doctor says my brain will dislodge if I bang my head up a brick wall again so as its you I'll drop it
Just take a look at his posting history.

It'll tell you everything you need to know.
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Old 07-03-2016, 04:20 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,527,305 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Just take a look at his posting history.

It'll tell you everything you need to know.
Don't Have the time for that pleasure thank you my love
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Old 07-04-2016, 11:53 PM
 
1,418 posts, read 1,268,755 times
Reputation: 539
I discovered this powerful post somewhere, in response to a guy that was very angry and bitter, frustrated over the gender role that guys have to approach and be the initiators, here it is right here:


"The simple fact is that life is unfair. Millions of years of evolution has made males the dominant ones in a species and who do much of the work, whether that be in gathering resources, being the one who fights and protects, doing hard labour, making personal sacrifices, initiating a relationship, and maintaining a relationship. While for women, they have evolved to be passive and to take on the role of nurturing and raising a family.


Yes, it’s very unfair to the guy who has social anxiety, or is quiet and introverted. These things have far less of an effect on women since females are already expected to be passive, especially when it comes to dating. This can easily be seen anecdotally by going onto any social anxiety forum: the overwhelming majority of users will be male. The guys who don’t have great social skills and confidence will struggle far more in life and relationships than females with the same negative qualities. The research data backs this up as well: there are far more virgins who are male after the age of 25 than females after the same age. So you’re correct that women have it easier when it comes to dating, getting into a relationship, and in receiving sex, and many studies support this position as well. Yes, it’s unfair because those who are born and raised to be very social and outgoing will not face such hurdles, but that is just the way life is. You must do everything you can in order to overcome your disadvantages if you wish to succeed.


You’ll just have to accept the unfair truth that women have it easier when it comes to dating. Things aren’t going to change anytime soon and, quite honestly, most women would not want this to change because they are quite comfortable being the passive ones and letting men do all the work. Women do not have to do the approaching because there are plenty of guys who will approach them instead. Why would they want to put in all of the hard work, time, effort, money, and have to face rejection when they do not have to? Being bitter will only decrease your chances with women. If there is one consolation in regards to this unfair situation, it’s that your role as a man gives you the power to choose who you want to approach and ask out for a date. Generally, passive women are forced to settle for whatever guys come their way. A woman may never end up with the guy of her dreams if she waits around and hopes that he’ll end up on her doorstep one day. As a man, you can choose your potential partner and work to make her yours.


You only have one chance at life, so you have to work hard to overcome whatever disadvantages you’re born with and that your environment has given you. You have to work with what you have; there is no re-rolling the dice. There will always be others who are handed things on a silver platter while you have to work very hard and make tons of sacrifices to receive those very same things. It’s unfair, but that is just the way life is. It is a very human thing to think that everything must be fair; that everyone should be given equal opportunities and that everyone should be rewarded equally for the same amount of work. But that just isn’t how the world works.


Yes, it is unfair that most women are handed offers for relationships and casual sex on a daily basis with almost no effort on their part, but that’s just how things are. You can blame evolution and cultural traditions for that. You might be bitter towards women because of this, but you must understand that men who perpetuate these traditions are part of the problem as well. While it is a very noble thing to strive to make the world as fair as possible, no amount of discussion about how unfair and one-sided dating is, is going to change millions of years of evolution: the female mind is sexually attracted to a man who is dominant, confident, and who can protect them(I guess approaching and making the first move, taking the lead, shows women that you can fulfill that protecting role). This is hardwired into the way their brain works and you cannot change that. You have to play by the rules of the world if you want to succeed, even if those rules are unfair. If you want a relationship, you must learn how to be attractive to women and put it into practice. You’ll have to put in the hard work and make sacrifices to make it happen, and whether or not you feel that is unfair is irrelevant. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth the time and effort or not.


The best advice I can give you is to work on yourself to become a better person; practice your social skills and practice being better at conversation, exercise and eat healthy, learn to dress well and learn proper grooming, become a more interesting person through learning about interesting topics, work to improve your financial situation and income, and so on. It sounds like a lot of work, but you might just find that it is easier than you thought. You’ll find that your efforts will provide tremendous improvement in all areas of your life, not just in dating – but in everyday interaction, in forging friendships, making connections, getting ahead in the business world, and far more. This is another advantage that men have; since in order to go on dates and enter relationships, men are forced to learn how to be dominant, to take control, take the lead, leading, to be confident, and how to deal with rejection and failure. In doing so, they also learn the skills they need in order to succeed in many other aspects of life. Women, who are usually expected to be passive and submissive, are not given the same drive and motivation to learn these skills. This is perhaps one of the major reasons why men are more successful than women on average, men still get more promotions than women do in the workplace on average, since being shy, quiet, having social anxiety can definetley affect a persons success level in their career, overcoming those social deficiencies helps climb the corporate ladder, and since men are expected to overcome that in order to go on dates, that probably explains why men are more successful than women are in the workplace on average.


Despite the disadvantages one might have in life, there is one thing you must know which can work to your advantage: most people are lazy. Most people will only put in the bare minimum amount of work to get what they want. Most people will live life fairly passively and take whatever they can get with little to no effort required. If you put in even just a little effort to be more successful, it will already put you far ahead of nearly everyone else. So read up on becoming a better person, on being successful with people, and with having success with dating and relationships. Put it into practice and reap the benefits of a little hard work. Do not be like most people who expect the world to hand them what they want just because they think it would be fair. Realize that the world doesn’t work like that and that you must get out there and put in the hard work to make things happen. Life is unfair, but that doesn’t mean the only solution is to give up. Work hard and you will be successful."
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,760,547 times
Reputation: 16993
Not common, that's why there is a movie about it.
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Old 11-05-2016, 02:46 AM
 
67 posts, read 50,020 times
Reputation: 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by auschwitz View Post
introversion, low self esteem, sickness, FEAR in general esp. fear of rejection, impotence, self hate, religion, being raised without affection, depression/anxiety, no social skills, etc. ALL of these can contribute to the misery of being ALONE. Some of the lyrics in Bette Midlers' song "The Rose" are very appropriate.
yes

[quote=Europeanflava;44519332]Someone on the wrong side of 40 with no sex life got there for one of 3 reasons.

1. Infertility(killer for women)
2. Bad social skills
3. Lack of will to form a relationship with someone else. Some people like being alone outside of their [/color][/color]

Mudcut no personal attacks

Last edited by Mikala43; 11-06-2016 at 11:13 PM..
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Old 11-05-2016, 09:22 AM
 
1,418 posts, read 1,268,755 times
Reputation: 539
I don't see why this had to be bumped but for men I would say it's not that unusual but for women it's very unusual if it ever happens to them
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Old 11-05-2016, 04:27 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 2,708,204 times
Reputation: 6097
I know this is an old thread.


But I do know a man late 40s never had a romantic type of date, ever. He is shy around women and can't talk to them, although his social skills with everyone else are okay.
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Old 11-06-2016, 09:18 PM
 
1,418 posts, read 1,268,755 times
Reputation: 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I know this is an old thread.


But I do know a man late 40s never had a romantic type of date, ever. He is shy around women and can't talk to them, although his social skills with everyone else are okay.
It's understandable as to why something like that happens to men more than women
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