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if she's a desirable mate, she will have many men pursuing her and trying to woo her to win her affection. But if shes gone 20 years (starting from when she was 20) and have not gotten married, in men's minds, something must be wrong with her.....
If the woman is 40 years old and never been married she is probably not very attractive, is difficult to get along with, has nothing but failed/unsuccessful relationships in her life that she blames on "always finding the wrong guy" (or actually blames on any and everything but herself), she's fat, she tends to act in a way that chases men away (possessive, jealousy, etc.), or something similar.
The rule is different for women because of how women think and live. Women wait and hope for someone to ask them to get married. Men do the asking.
What you say is generally true but there are some exceptions. I see you've heard from some of them.
However, the same thing is true of men, but since they do the asking and it is difficult for those in the bottom 2/3 to do this successfully, there are many more men who are 40 who are good prospects. However, the women have to realize that they will not be the pick up artists the encountered in their 20s. And this is probably for the best, but try to convince women this is so!
All those things you say about unwed women in their 40's is a bunch of made up BS!
So you are the exception. What does this prove? I wasn't too picky but the pickings are really slim for men in this age group. These women are usually unmarried for a NUMBER of very good reasons.
So a 40 year old unmarried woman can't be enjoying life to the fullest? Why a different rule for women.
Last summer, I worked with a lot of people with a traditional conservative old country mindset. They from all over the world, Europe, South America, Asia and Africa. What they were mostly shocked at was that I was almost 50 and didn't have any children or desire to have any. Meanwhile, I was shocked at some of the guys that had kids and were working themselves to death to try to support their families. One cook was about $20k plus in debt with his credit cards and car loans.
I just said that women should not just sit around and wait for someone to ask them to marry them. If she wants to get married so badly, and if she is able to find a man to maintain interest in her, maybe she should ask HIM to marry her.
Doesn't work. I had this experience. She was even pressuring my poor Mother, who thought that she was the worst thing that could happen to me.
Then she made the comment that if we got married, she would buy me a car (we passed) that would likely cost 2 year's of my salary! (She was in debt)
I've known women who waited til 40 or older to marry for the first time and they are all AMAZING women. They are kind, attractive, and brilliant. I admire them; they made very wise choices and found great husbands. Contrast that with so many women I've seen marrying young & ending up miserable because they made a bad choice for a mate.
I've known women who waited til 40 or older to marry for the first time and they are all AMAZING women. They are kind, attractive, and brilliant. I admire them; they made very wise choices and found great husbands. Contrast that with so many women I've seen marrying young & ending up miserable because they made a bad choice for a mate.
Its a crap shoot either way. I think it's just a matter of luck on some level.
When you're young you have more to choose from, yet might not know what you're compatible with.
When you're older you know what you want more, but the market pickings are a little slimmer.
When you're young you have more to choose from, yet might not know what you're compatible with.
When you're older you know what you want more, but the market pickings are a little slimmer.
How true that is. I married young and was divorced by my late 20's. I'm 40 now and have not remarried - although I almost did once.
People are waiting longer to get married because they don't want to make a mistake and find themselves unhappily married and eventually divorced or they're focusing on a career. What's that old saying..."if I knew then what I know now"....well if I had I wouldn't have gotten married at 21.
I've known women who waited til 40 or older to marry for the first time and they are all AMAZING women. They are kind, attractive, and brilliant. I admire them; they made very wise choices and found great husbands. Contrast that with so many women I've seen marrying young & ending up miserable because they made a bad choice for a mate.
Just curious...why did they wait? What happened in the intervening 20 years (after college, if they attended), if this is in fact their first marriage?
How true that is. I married young and was divorced by my late 20's. I'm 40 now and have not remarried - although I almost did once.
People are waiting longer to get married because they don't want to make a mistake and find themselves unhappily married and eventually divorced or they're focusing on a career. What's that old saying..."if I knew then what I know now"....well if I had I wouldn't have gotten married at 21.
Very true. I would have been much better off waiting until I was older, and knew what was compatable with my values.
I admire people who don't get married because it's what you are supposed to do, and wait for someone you can live with the rest of your life. If more people took the time to get to know themselves there might not be as much divorce as there is these days. My sister watched the mistakes me and my other sister made, and wiated until she found the right one at almost 40. In the meantime she has had a very happy full life with friends and interests, not waiting for someone to "complete" her. IMO people who wait are better off.
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