Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh I agree...I mean I do most of the chores but I like them done and over with before he comes home from work...that is time in this house for relaxing!
LOL Ohhh, yea, my husband mentioned something like that to me in the beginning. He just got off work and it's his time to relax. No way. He comes home and works. The weekend comes and he works. Period. It's either kosher living or there's going to be a problem. There simply isn't enough time in the day to get all the inside and outside work done, especially with 4 kids. To add, not that 4-5 hours of heavy toil are needed, but an hour or two a night consistently does wonders.
Quote:
But he is VERY involved as a father. He coaches their teams, picks up and drives to practices, travels to all their away games and never misses a school function.
That's good he's being a great dad. But, when exactly is it your time to relax?
The only crock about child support/alimony is that the state doesnt give a crap what the recipient does with the money.
This! Seriously why don't they monitor what they do with the money? I've heard cases of some moms who got the money because they moaned and cried "Ohh poor me! Raising my children alone will be sooo difficult if I don't have this amount of money! Please give me more for the kids! Waaaahhh!" and when they actually get the money, they spend it on THEMSELVES instead of the kids! One lady even used her child support money for a cruise on herself and left the child behind!!
This! Seriously why don't they monitor what they do with the money? I've heard cases of some moms who got the money because they moaned and cried "Ohh poor me! Raising my children alone will be sooo difficult if I don't have this amount of money! Please give me more for the kids! Waaaahhh!" and when they actually get the money, they spend it on THEMSELVES instead of the kids! One lady even used her child support money for a cruise on herself and left the child behind!!
How do you know it was her child support money she was spending? No one seems to consider that if the non-custodial parent is paying the arranged child support, then the custodial parent does not have to spend all of their own disposable income on shoes or clothes or food for their children, and may be able to (horrors!) buy themselves a few things with their own money.
The only crock about child support/alimony is that the state doesnt give a crap what the recipient does with the money.
I saw on census that the median child support contributions are ~$400/mo. That's nothing. At the very best, it will cover the extra bedroom for the kid, not including clothes, food, meds, day-to-day expenses for the child. I'm not sure where else the money would be spent providing we're not speaking of ghetto folk.
Nope, I was wrong. "According to the U.S. Census Bureau report the median child support payment in the U.S. is $280 per child a month."
Apparently you missed my post to you and the questions I posed to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
Trouble is all this general speculating is quite fruitless and a waste of time actually. Every divorce is different, initiated for different reasons. Community property where both people worked to secure it and consideration for primary caretaker if children are involved and who cheated on who.
For example, my parents worked together side by side and took one pick up truck and turned it into a company worth millions over the years. In
addition to working, my mother was also a full time wife and caretaker of us children - though I did not see her much due to working. Throughout his entire life I cannot recall when my dad didn't have a girlfriend on the side. Using communal funds he paid for apartments and fur coats and plenty of everything else. He was sloppy about it - I found all the receipts and confirmed where and to who all this stuff was sent. My mother worked side by side with him her whole life building this company. In that light, do you really think he got screwed or did he screw himself?
Ironically, she walked out with nothing but an undeveloped piece of land in another state in a resort community. She just walked out. Screw the alimony, the million dollar house - all of it. All she has are some good silver items I smuggled out of the house. Her logic - she didn't want to take away what we children had come to know as home, even though two of us were grown. Not every situation dictates sinster and underhanded manipulation of details and there's far too much generalization going on.
Enter his wife number 2 (there were three of them). He never stopped seeing the woman he was having an affair with when he was married to my mother. She'd had enough and knowing there was significant debt to the company all she took was everything - even the pictures off the wall out of the house because she knew alimony was out of the question. I remember him calling me at work and asking me to stop by. This house was huge and when I shut the door it echoed - there wasn't one thing left in it. He was sitting on the steps going into the living room and all I could say was, 'well, can't say you didn't deserve this one.' He knew and actually agreed. I ask you - who made the mess? The answer was HE did.
Getting to his golden years he eventually married the mistress he had through three marriages. Last laugh - with all that man had he is now stuck in a situation he doesn't want to be in, because SHE supports him now.
I ask you - who's responsible for the outcomes of these situations?
So, everyone can ramble on all they want in some half crocked general sense - but there is little regard for the details of each and every situation. It's not simple, there are always many layers and varrying circumstances. But rarely are both people innocent in these situations.
Take his second wife as an example. She was having an affair with him while he was still married. Even though she did not screw around on him, in my eyes, she still shares the responsibility. I live by the philosophy that what someone can do with you - they most certainly can do to you. She dove in head first - she's not an innocent in the situation.
So, everyone get off the generalities and the biased converstions with Joe at the cubicle next to you - chances are you don't know the whole story.
This! Seriously why don't they monitor what they do with the money? I've heard cases of some moms who got the money because they moaned and cried "Ohh poor me! Raising my children alone will be sooo difficult if I don't have this amount of money! Please give me more for the kids! Waaaahhh!" and when they actually get the money, they spend it on THEMSELVES instead of the kids! One lady even used her child support money for a cruise on herself and left the child behind!!
$250-500/mo is not a lot of money. It's certainly not enough to support a child, so I can't blame them for complaining about it. Unless the kids are living with the mom's parents then I don't see how they could not be spending that money on them.
$250-500/mo is not a lot of money. It's certainly not enough to support a child, so I can't blame them for complaining about it. Unless the kids are living with the mom's parents then I don't see how they could not be spending that money on them.
Yeah but the case I heard about was the woman was getting $3000 a month in CS.
How do you know it was her child support money she was spending? No one seems to consider that if the non-custodial parent is paying the arranged child support, then the custodial parent does not have to spend all of their own disposable income on shoes or clothes or food for their children, and may be able to (horrors!) buy themselves a few things with their own money.
I know. It's just when they complain about not getting enough to support their kids and then turn their backs to spend the increased amount on themselves was what chapped my butt. And the case I heard about was a woman receiving $3000 in CS.
Divorce makes men - and particularly fathers - significantly richer. When a father separates from the mother of his children, according to new research, his available income increases by around one third. Women, in contrast, suffer severe financial penalties. Regardless of whether she has children, the average woman's income falls by more than a fifth and remains low for many years.
I guess this pretty much would confirm that *most* (not all) women view a man as a walking wallet. It's mighty easy to spend money when someone else is making it.
20yrsinBranson
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
