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See, this is where I get confused. If men don’t send their paycheck to their ex wife, they get thrown in jail. If the ex wife spends the paycheck on herself, not the children, nothing happens. I totally agree that if men don’t pay they should be sent to the slammers. They have to be responsible, right? But nobody checks on all these women who do what you just described. No wonder marrying a rich man is pretty much a career move for women. A win/win situation to marry a rich man. If things go well, a woman gets to enjoy being with a nice guy and living off his paycheck. If things go sour, she keeps half of what she didn’t even break a sweat for. If she has children with him, she secures part of his riches.
If he's REALLY concerned that the children are being neglected and their needs are not being met, he can always call CPS.
I would love for all of them to list their occupations and salary ranges. I want to see how many rich guys we have in this thread and on the forum to warrant the concern. Maybe it's a CD anomaly.
For us, I know that we could not fit the expense of an apartment, utilities, and extra refrigerator of food in our budget. We wouldn't be able to keep this house. We'd all have to move. I can see why it's really hard for other families to get by when they are trying to maintain two households.
Well, Boston is much more expensive compared to the rest of the country, and the folk I work with tend to put their children in top notch places. Many of them have nannies as well. One colleague has two nannies.
Well, not all people put their children in top notch places. So saying childcare costs all this money is a bit far from reality.
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Um, for 6 people? You need to rethink your reasoning here. Having a husband and 4 children must be impossible to keep up with. I have a hard time with just my dh and I and the animals. Kids are messy
An average family does not have 6 people in the house. Also, the children are out by age 18 anyways.
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Nobody is forgetting that. Although, people willfully devalue the work done at home, as you did with your few meals vs the 75,000 meals I noted
On average, lunch is eaten outside the house and the breakfast can be a bowl of cereal or some scramble eggs. It’s not like the whole family has a big gourmet skillet breakfast like the ones they serve at family restaurants in the USA. Besides, people are on a rush normally to go to work and school so no time for that anyways. So to say “women cook 3 complete meals everyday” is a bit off. Dinner? Maybe and it shouldn’t take hours unless its Thanksgiving or something. You can leave some things to boil while you go back to watch tv, check email, etc.
It seems people do forget what men contribute at home, which I already mentioned. It is the wife who gets all the praise, rewards, and protection when it comes to divorce.
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With that said, I would not be happy at all to have to pay alimony. The more I think of it the stingier it sounds
It does sound like that. I’m with you. But as a woman, you are less likely to pay alimony so don’t worry and if you do, you’ll be an exception. Do some women pay it? Sure, but we’re still far from saying that women pay alimony as common as men.
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eta: btw, I looked at that link for day care. That's ~ what I spend on my dog's day care.
That’s how you decided to take care of your dog, go for it. But childcare is not a gazillion expense as many make it sound.
But you wouldn't have a handy man around to fix a leak, take your car to the mechanic, kill that spider you ran away from, set a mousetrap, work on the backyard, work on the garage, move around the furniture, etc. oh, and your personal ATM.
Errrr, no. He does A FEW household fixes. I am the one to take the cars for repairs, tuneups and oil changes while he takes my car that day. I kill the spiders, it's ironic you should say that, I've even posted about it before. He doesn't move the furniture around. If I were to ask him he'd resent that I wanted him to be "a he man". Recently I needed a very heavy rug removed. It was just really stained and awful. He put the chore off for 6 months. Then I moved the rug...pull by pull and shuffle by shuffle.
He's not here for any of that; of course I'm the one who does all that...and then when he *is* home, well, he already worked "a full week".
And have you missed the stats that show I'm nowhere even close to being alone? This schedule is the average American woman -- well, except often she works outside the household full-time, too.
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Originally Posted by onihC
People forget that while she fixed a few meals and washed a pair of dishes in less than 5 minutes and so on he worked to have that roof over her head, the house furnished, cars paid, phones paid, utilities, her clothes, etc. Divorce law rewards women for a few house chores here and there but makes it seem as if the things I mentioned appeared out of nowhere.
How much does a maid cost compared to what a wife snatches from the exhusband?
No. People don't bother to read that the average U.S. woman does double the amount of housework, total hours-wise, as the average U.S. man even if she works outside the home. So convenient to overlook these things, eh?
And no, I've never thought things appeared out of nowhere. Did you even read my posts? I made MORE money than my husband when we married. I had zero debt; he had $20,000 student loans that became "ours." I had the larger place. He moved into my place.
BTW...five freakin minutes of housework?? Are you high????? You can do all the dishes for an entire family, all the laundry for an entire family, running every errand (yes, including the car), taking care of the children and their homework and their needs, vacuum all the rugs, wash all the floors and scrub all the toilets, plus clean up the multiple "accidents" typical kids make in a day, in five minutes???
. Out here is mass it's more expensive around $30-50/hr. Child care is around 3/k mo for during the day. So, if that's coupled with nights I guess it would be doubled.
See, this is where I get confused. If men don’t send their paycheck to their ex wife, they get thrown in jail.
Says freakin' who???? Do you know how much time, aggravation and -- most of all -- money the ex-wife doesn't have, to even begin to sue for back child support?
Most don't bother. Most just suffer. Yes, I can find stats for that if you need them.
Ask you a question, hon? Do you have any personal, first-hand (I mean as the non-custodial parent) experience in this? Just curious.
But childcare is not a gazillion expense as many make it sound.
Umm. Yes it is. (Smacking forehead. Hard. Coming out of it now...nope, still can't quite believe I just read this; let me try another self-smack...hmm, still nope. Maybe if I smoke some of what you're smokin'? )
Again. Numbers, please? And...any personal experience? Any at all?
The absolute lowest childcare I was able to find in 2002 for my ONE son was a "discounted" rate at a standard daycare was $1200/month. That was nine years ago. Granted it was in the northeast.
Look up the numbers for any state you'd like and see what the real numbers are.
Of course, if you want to leave your child in the home of a woman who doesn't speak English and is not certified in any way to do anything having to do with children, and watches TV all day blankly while the child is into the Drano, you can save, like, $200 a month. (Woooo-hah! Let's go!)
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He doesn't move the furniture around. If I were to ask him he'd resent that I wanted him to be "a he man". Recently I needed a very heavy rug removed. It was just really stained and awful. He put the chore off for 6 months. Then I moved the rug...pull by pull and shuffle by shuffle.
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