Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
evilmewbie: Reading through your responses to various posters, it would seem that you actually thrive on your wife's behavior, that you love her the way that she is and were just looking for some sort of affirmation from others in your position. Each to his own. Cheers!
I kind of agree with this.
You knew that this is the way she is. You chose to marry her.
Get your keister off the Aeron and go make that 999K+ per year that the dear lady deserves. If anyone is the whiner it is you.
evilmewbie: Reading through your responses to various posters, it would seem that you actually thrive on your wife's behavior, that you love her the way that she is and were just looking for some sort of affirmation from others in your position. Each to his own. Cheers!
I don't think that's a fair comment at all. Evilnewbie sounds like a level-headed guy, not someone who is "thriving" on his wife's BS and immaturity.
Some people don't get to truly "know" their spouse for years (yes, it can take time). Some people change, some people get too comfortable and some people have overly high expectations of their spouse (which sounds like the case with EN's wife). The lady is clearly not satisfied, wants, wants, wants, needs, needs, needs and is making her husband the scapegoat of her own internal frustrations.
Is your wife in the medical field, by any chance--i.e. a med student or resident? What you're describing sounds like a lot of the personality types of some med students/residents I know.
I'm just confused a bit as to why she is not happy with the way things are--the way you describe her, she's set--and sounds like she has extraordinary career potential.
Can you elaborate some more about the friends issue?
Have her make a list of everything she wants out of life, including a timeline to accomplish each goal. And then you'll know when your lives have "enough". Also, when she says the goal is not enough, you can show the list and tell her "this is what you said you wanted".
Some people cease to exist unless they are a victim. It's annoying. You feel like you're constantly being tested, and nothing you do is ever good enough. You need to make her aware of this. What do you have to lose? You're already making her life miserable.
Heck no... I don't need affirmation, I am happy with myself... I want some help and I certainly don't love the way she is, the opposite in fact..... She is the way she is and perhaps someone out there has more experience with this than I do... is there a way to get her to stop trying to "create" problems for our relationship? She always seem to want to have problems and becomes fixated on them...
Sorry to have to tell you this, but your wife is not happily married. She might love you, but she's probably not "in love" with you. I know that's a cliche', but it's very valid. She whines and complains and finds fault with you because she doesn't adore you and cherish you. She's destroying the harmony in your marriage because she just isn't feeling it anymore.
You're both young. Call it quits and move on before you waste anymore time with each other.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you guys are being way too hard on this woman. She's a good wife, she works hard, she loves him. She's a whiner. So what? What are you gonna do? I mean, everyone is flawed in some way. We are not talking about major deal-breakers here (like cheating. Or being a mean person. Or a being a female Chris Brown).
In my humble opinion, we are talking about someone who is simply very driven and mildly unsatisfied. Very ambitious people are often not satisfied with the status quo and are always seeing the areas where there could be improvement. Consequently, they may complain about the gaps between what they want and the way things are.
Yeah, there are things you can do. Make a joke about it ("Why settle for the BMW, hun? <wink>"). Tell her she can have one "change" or "task" a week (and then give it to her). Or simply just kiss her on the head and say "I know babe" and let it go/tune it out.
But divorce?!? C'mon people! Are we all so perfect on this site that "whining" is a deal-breaker? And more importantly, is the OP perfect?
But divorce?!? C'mon people! Are we all so perfect on this site that "whining" is a deal-breaker? And more importantly, is the OP perfect?
YES!!! A chronic whiner would be a deal breaker to me. That falls under the very important category of my s/o having a personality that is compatible with mine. The only thing worse than a habitual whiner would be someone with clinical depression.
And it's one thing to complain once in a while, but not acceptable to be complaining all of the time and then coming to the conclusion that it's your spouse's fault.
He married her and knew she was like this. Wysiwyg.
So who is really whining here. Hmmm?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
