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True it's a responsible thing to do BUT what I meant was that NORMALLY children outlive their parents and we have to consider that the age difference here is that of mother & son.
Older men have been dating and marrying women young enough to be their daughters since the dawn of civilization. Do you have a problem with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher? Then Bruce Willis just married a woman that is 23 years his junior. So what's the big deal?
Anyway, I think that your attitude will change greatly twenty years from now.
True it's a responsible thing to do BUT what I meant was that NORMALLY children outlive their parents and we have to consider that the age difference here is that of mother & son.
I'm not sure I understand the point. What difference does it make if one person outlives another?
True it's a responsible thing to do BUT what I meant was that NORMALLY children outlive their parents and we have to consider that the age difference here is that of mother & son.
the only thing to be considered is when/if the beneficiary dies first. A younger boyfriend can die before the older girlfriend, in case you didn't know.
I guess it wouldn't make any sense for me to name my older by 3 years brother my beneficiary.
Life seems to be a no-win for women nowadays. Either we're knocked up premaritally, and vilified for being a drain on taxpayers. Or we're college-educated women, holding off raising a family while we work away during prime career-building years, only to find ourselves unable to conceive in our 30s/40s, vilified by the general public for "waiting too long." Maybe I broke the stereotypes down too black and white, but you get the gist...
I would agree with this. There's a very small window, just a few years of life, really, on when it's socially acceptible for women to become pregnant...a few years "too early," and you're trashy/irresponsible in the eyes of many, and a few years "too late," and you're dumb for putting yourself in a position where the risk for complications is higher. The switch from everyone harping on you to "wait to have kids, you're too young to have kids," to always asking you "when are you going to have kids? Clock ticking yet?" seems to occur very quickly, in my experience. It's like, "Don't do it in your early-to-mid twenties, whatever you do, but damn, do it by thirty." And, for most of us, those relatively few intervening years are pretty packed with things OTHER than parenthood.
the only thing to be considered is when/if the beneficiary dies first. A younger boyfriend can die before the older girlfriend, in case you didn't know.
I guess it wouldn't make any sense for me to name my older by 3 years brother my beneficiary.
3yrs is the same age group. Miu and her boyfriend have generational "gaps". He is decades younger than her.
My point being...a 13yr old can die before an 89yr old anyday but based on their age diff. & all things being equal, it is unlikely. They have a VAST age difference.
3yrs is the same age group. Miu and her boyfriend have generational "gaps". He is decades younger than her.
My point being...a 13yr old can die before an 89yr old anyday but based on their age diff. & all things being equal, it is unlikely. They have a VAST age difference.
theBanker,
First off, Miu is in great shape, so I don't think there's any danger of her dying "anyday." Second of all, I'm not sure what the correlation is between this and the topic of unwed mothers, which I'm in disagreement with.
Let me clarify something -- Miu is an adult and so is her boyfriend. They've both made a decision about what is right for them, and that decision isn't harming anyone. If they get married and she dies and leaves him a widow at a young age (such as 60, possibly), then I guess that's the risk they take. But it's their risk, not yours or society's or anyone else's.
A child, on the other hand, is not capable of making its own decisions. A child relies on adults to make the responsible decisions for it. If a woman decides to have a baby, she needs to make darn sure she has the means to support the child, which means either she needs to be wealthy in her own right or married to someone who provides income while she is at home nursing and minding the toddler.
Either you are married, or not. If a woman is not married and carrying a man's child and she also earns no income, she is putting that baby at risk. She is also asking that the universe -- e.g. her parents, friends, the government -- provide for her.
A man shows his intent to marry by producing a ring. No ring, no marriage. Words are cheap. As the saying goes, listen to a man's ACTIONS not his WORDS.
If you are a single woman, pregnant, and not married yet betting the child's father will marry based on his good word, you are taking a risk and worse, putting your baby at risk. IMHO, women who get pregnant to hold onto man are not "mothers" because right from the get-go, they are putting their own selfish needs first and using the baby as an instrument of manipulation.
When the strategy fails (which is usually does) and the man leaves, then what of the baby? Usually, it becomes just a painful reminder of a bad experience and a ball and chain to boot, because when a new man enters the picture, he is not going to want to have to pay for a woman's past mistakes, and therefore the little tot gets pushed of into a dark corner (often foster homes) and then grows up to become a scourge on society.
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Last edited by Woof Woof Woof!; 04-26-2009 at 10:13 AM..
3yrs is the same age group. Miu and her boyfriend have generational "gaps". He is decades younger than her.
My point being...a 13yr old can die before an 89yr old anyday but based on their age diff. & all things being equal, it is unlikely. They have a VAST age difference.
Why are you using an example of a 13 year old and a 89 year old now? My boyfriend will be 29 in June and I am 50. We are both mature adults. And I am in great shape. Being Asian helps a lot in terms of my physical condition. At work, I can lift trays as well as the 20 year old guys. I don't even have varicose veins on my legs.
But by putting in his will (of his own accord) my boyfriend was indicating his love and total commitment to being my s/o. Right from the beginning, he was planning to spend the rest of his life with me. And when I first met him, he was very much against the institution of marriage. And since he didn't want children, there was no plans on his part ever to get married. This jives with my opinion that marriage isn't necessary unless children and real estate is involved. If you are going to make babies or buy property together, then marriage is a must.
Anyway, there are actually many couples with age gaps as great as ours, it's just that it's more common to have a situation of it being an older man with a younger woman. Plus don't imagine us a teenage boy with a feeble white haired lady with a humpback.
And back to "bastards" and the original topic, just yesterday one of my friends in his late twenties told me that his ex girlfriend was a bastard. She refers to herself as a bastard all of the time. He feels that it's why she's so messed up now and in therapy. So by creating children out of wedlock, it really does hurt the children. Maybe their parents and the adults around them don't have a problem with the lack of wedding rings exchanged, but kids are smart and know exactly what it means when their parents aren't married and they envy do envy their friends and classmates with married parents. Kids care very much about family stability and commitments. A dad not marrying the mom is implying that he's not commitment to his children either. And see how with kids with married parents get so upset when their parents fight or get divorced.
Anyway, please have your children within wedlock for the sake of their happiness and emotional health. Be responsible adults.
Why are you using an example of a 13 year old and a 89 year old now? My boyfriend will be 29 in June and I am 50. We are both mature adults. And I am in great shape. Being Asian helps a lot in terms of my physical condition. At work, I can lift trays as well as the 20 year old guys. I don't even have varicose veins on my legs.
But by putting in his will (of his own accord) my boyfriend was indicating his love and total commitment to being my s/o. Right from the beginning, he was planning to spend the rest of his life with me. And when I first met him, he was very much against the institution of marriage. And since he didn't want children, there was no plans on his part ever to get married. This jives with my opinion that marriage isn't necessary unless children and real estate is involved. If you are going to make babies or buy property together, then marriage is a must.
Anyway, there are actually many couples with age gaps as great as ours, it's just that it's more common to have a situation of it being an older man with a younger woman. Plus don't imagine us a teenage boy with a feeble white haired lady with a humpback.
And back to "bastards" and the original topic, just yesterday one of my friends in his late twenties told me that his ex girlfriend was a bastard. She refers to herself as a bastard all of the time. He feels that it's why she's so messed up now and in therapy. So by creating children out of wedlock, it really does hurt the children. Maybe their parents and the adults around them don't have a problem with the lack of wedding rings exchanged, but kids are smart and know exactly what it means when their parents aren't married and they envy do envy their friends and classmates with married parents. Kids care very much about family stability and commitments. A dad not marrying the mom is implying that he's not commitment to his children either. And see how with kids with married parents get so upset when their parents fight or get divorced.
Anyway, please have your children within wedlock for the sake of their happiness and emotional health. Be responsible adults.
How is it that today your boyfriend is 29 & you are 50 & only two days ago you had an age difference of 23+years? Sudden shrinkage! Ummh!
Who knew your "good job" decription entails "lifting trays". Mrs 50 yr old
Waitress?
Good for him he didn't want any kids coz even if he had...your eggs are dried out & shrivelled.
How is it that today your boyfriend is 29 & you are 50 & only two days ago you had an age difference of 23+years? Sudden shrinkage! Ummh!
Who knew your "good job" decription entails "lifting trays". Mrs 50 yr old
Waitress?
Good for him he didn't want any kids coz even if he had...your eggs are dried out & shrivelled.
Now back to the topic: ...
Our numerical age gap varies a bit depending where we are in the calendar year, my birthday is in November, his is in June. I'm a 1958 baby and he was born in 1981. BTW your man is 9 years older than you, do you find him acting that much more maturely than you do? An adult is an adult.
I've done many different jobs in my lifetime. I'm an antiques dealer with a side job of waitressing. Just yesterday, I found a bunch of sterling silver serving pieces at an antiques mall that were marked as silverplate and priced very cheaply. One soup ladle cost me $25 and Replacements, Ltd has the same one priced at $599. Another piece was even made by Tiffany.
At least, I've never had to resort to taking off my clothes in front of men for money.
And who cares about the condition of my eggs? I know I don't. I've never ever wanted to have rug rats and he's always felt the same way about kids. Maybe you have a loud biological clock ticking away, but I don't.
And who cares about the condition of my eggs? I know I don't. I've never ever wanted to have rug rats and he's always felt the same way about kids. Maybe you have a loud biological clock ticking away, but I don't.
She's just realizing she's about waste her eggs on a man who is more married to his mother than he'll ever be to her. Even if they get married.
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My boyfriend will be 29 in June and I am 50. We are both mature adults. And I am in great shape. Being Asian helps a lot in terms of my physical condition. At work, I can lift trays as well as the 20 year old guys. I don't even have varicose veins on my legs.
