Dating Someone That Was Sexually Abused

[ZorbaTheGeek]

Originally Posted by devilkingx2

1.well, the promiscuity would get me laid,

And that's all that counts? Taking a girl when she's down and traumatized, and acting out of trauma?

Originally Posted by devilkingx2

3. haven't seen my one sister in like 10 years(no more, I saw her before the last time I saw my dad, which was 11 years ago), so I wouldn't really care what anyone does with/to her.

Like I said, man, get yourself some humanity. Your family walked out on you, so it's ok to kick others when their down, if it gets you off? Or blow them off completely? Get help, man. Sounds like you have some trauma going on, yourself.

[devilkingx2]

Originally Posted by ZorbaTheGeek

1.And that's all that counts? Taking a girl when she's down and traumatized, and acting out of trauma?


2.Like I said, man, get yourself some humanity. Your family walked out on you, so it's ok to kick others when their down, if it gets you off? Or blow them off completely? Get help, man. Sounds like you have some trauma going on, yourself.

1. if you asked me what the two most important parts of life were, I'd tell you "sex and video games" what does that tell you? though I can imagine video games might provide much needed/wanted escapism for an abuse victim and I'd be ok if she wanted to spend large portions of her time in a virtual world or something(I could do that with her).

2. technically, most of my cousins and siblings are paternal, so when my mom kicked my dad out because of some.... errr.... domestic issues I lost contact with that whole side of the family

I barely remember them because it's been over a decade, ergo I don't care that much about them(about as much as you care about any random stranger you see walking down the street), I don't hate them, I just don't have any particularly strong feelings for them.

the last time I had to console someone was when my friend got his ass kicked(granted, it was the second time he got his ass kicked by that particular guy and the same guy had kicked my ass a couple of weeks or months beforehand) all I did was **** him off and make it worse with my best efforts... i couldn't even help him because I can't fight for **** and would've just given the guy another ass to kick.

I can't really see that as a preferable alternative to just avoiding them(or the subject) until they just get over it.

[Cindy1205]

It's sad to read that some people suggest dumping the girl. The whole reason this girl has issues is because that's exactly how someone saw her and treated her. She was treated like a sexual object to be used & dumped. She needs someone to love her and show her she is more than a sexual being. She needs to feel that she will not be used and dumped. Yes, this will take time. For some depending on the severity and support system at the time of the abuse, it may take a life time. I know I was sexually abused throughout my childhood. Everyone has issues or flaws. You can focus on them or focus on the good in others and lift them up. It's up to you. I personally choose love over judgement & abandonment unless it's unhealthy for you.