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Okay, so here's my advice. You should of told her that its not insulting to call you gay, sat quietly next to her as she asked a million and one questions so she could relieve her boredom, which is your fault for not being handsome enough. Then you should of stayed there till she excused you and if she laughed at you for any reason, you should of just stayed there without saying anything, like a dummy. Then, if she felt that you were dumb enough to be her whipping boy, you should of immediately fallen down to your kness and kissed her feet as she kicked you for daring to touch her. Then you should of said "Thank you, may I have another?" As her friends laughed at you and kicked you for fun too.
Last edited by temptation001; 05-07-2009 at 04:13 PM..
I think my mother didn't do a very good job teaching me the girl-code or something. If a guy is interested in me but keeps it to himself, then we're just two ships that pass in the night. Maybe it's because I'm the most oblivious woman on the face of the earth, but the subtle "nice talking to you, maybe I will see you again" won't garner any kind of reaction from me beyond a private, "Oh, that was too bad! He was nice. I liked him. Darn!" as I wandered off, feeling disappointed that he wasn't as interested in me as I had been in him.
I was the same way when I was dating -- if a guy said to me "nice talking to you, maybe I'll see you again", it would indicate to me he wasn't really interested. I would just go on with my life if as I hadn't met him. And the next time he saw me, more often than not I would already be dating someone else (someone who didn't have these hang-ups).
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad rejection experience, and I'd like to add a few points from a girl's perspective for future reference, if this makes you feel any better...
In this day and age, girls do not easily give out their phone numbers after a five minute conversation with a random guy; even if they've seen each around before in a library, etc. I've learned some hard lessons about giving out my phone number like candy, and especially to those guys that I was too afraid of (insert sarcasm) "emasculating" by refusing to share my number. Unfortunately, many girls just end up giving a fake number when a guy starts hassling them - some guys can't just take a "no, thank you" rejection and walk away with their chin up. There are plenty of stalker-material psychos out there, I've seen and dealt with my share - and unfortunately the rest of the male population is paying the price for this necessary caution of girls treating their phone numbers like social security digits.
Onto my second point...
My design college was mostly male-populated, due to the industrial design departments. I was part of a tiny percentage of female students, on top of the fact that I'm, ahem, let's just say... easy on the eyes. I had two choices - keep to myself and be lonely, or befriend my male classmates. Now let's just reflect on what a previous poster stated, something along the lines of, "Guys don't need female friends - if a guy's talking to a girl, it's because he's aiming for sex, not friendship." I consider myself one of the enlightened - a believer in platonic friendships in the 21st century - and I went out of my way to be friendly and conversational with these male classmates in common areas like libraries, etc - not flirtatious. Unfortunately that brought on a lot of unwanted advances and requests for my phone number, which cycles back into what I wrote in the first paragraph, SIGH.
Usually when I say that it means I like the person and would like to party or talk to that person again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
I was the same way when I was dating -- if a guy said to me "nice talking to you, maybe I'll see you again", it would indicate to me he wasn't really interested. I would just go on with my life if as I hadn't met him. And the next time he saw me, more often than not I would already be dating someone else (someone who didn't have these hang-ups).
When she said "you look a little gay though" that was an insult and that was the end of your conversation with her. That means she didn't like you in the first place.
She insulted you, probably out of jealousy or displaced anger or homophobia, whatever 'insecurity' she might have.........
She is a loser.
Agreed. If a woman likes a guy, then she doesn't say that.
I still don't think he did anything wrong. I've had guys be far more awkward, pull the phone out, etc and it did not turn me off because I had already decided I liked them. Maybe I am just a nicer person than a lot of women in this thread though....I'm not going to write someone off I can have good conversation with because he didn't ask for my number in exactly the "right" way . Who wants some high maintenance chick like that anyway?
And for the record, I think "Lets meet up again, except, not by accident" is cute, and a guy hitting the books is also attractive to me.
When she said "you look a little gay though" that was an insult and that was the end of your conversation with her. That means she didn't like you in the first place.
She insulted you, probably out of jealousy or displaced anger or homophobia, whatever 'insecurity' she might have.........
She is a loser.
I agree. After the gay comment I would have kindly dismissed myself. She meant it as an insult. Then she has the audacity to call you over to her and show her friends how she can get a poor sucker to come to her and be insulted and humilated in front of her friends for the sake of looking like a deperately sought after, hot girl.
What a royal b@#$h, loser !! OMG.....
Also, I don't think you said or did anything wrong or weird.
Maybe it was a bit akward, but geez, you were caught off gaurd and you said what came to mind.
I don't know any guys who are so smooth that any time they try and get a girls' number, they always come off
like Don Juan . Give the guy a break....he was being himself not Rico Swavay.
And I agree 100% with OP, IF she had made up her mind that she liked you and wanted to see you again, it would not had mattered how you came off, unless of course you were down right mean and or rude.
Last edited by oregonwana_b; 05-07-2009 at 08:11 PM..
Okay, so here's my advice. You should of told her that its not insulting to call you gay, sat quietly next to her as she asked a million and one questions so she could relieve her boredom, which is your fault for not being handsome enough. Then you should of stayed there till she excused you and if she laughed at you for any reason, you should of just stayed there without saying anything, like a dummy. Then, if she felt that you were dumb enough to be her whipping boy, you should of immediately fallen down to your kness and kissed her feet as she kicked you for daring to touch her. Then you should of said "Thank you, may I have another?" As her friends laughed at you and kicked you for fun too.
CESpeed, how many "red flags" did I hoist in this exchange?
Sweetie your number one problem is you like to use cheesy lines and actions. "Let's meet up again except not by accident" is cheesy and pulling out your phone was presumptive.
You seem like a really nice guy, just clueless. Like you've seen too many cool guy movies and think that the on-screen stuff really works. It doesn't in real life.
I know you don't think it'll work, but honestly if you kept it simple, you would get so much further.
Now I will say that her comment about your being gay was out of line. But hang in you will find a nice girl.
I don't know any guys who are so smooth that any time they try and get a girls' number, they always come off like Don Juan. Give the guy a break....he was being himself not Rico Swavay.
And I agree 100% with OP, IF she had made up her mind that she liked you and wanted to see you again, it would not had mattered how you came off, unless of course you were down right mean and or rude.
You know at least one. I have yet to ask and come away empty handed. The trick is in asking a girl that is interested.
Seems like she was just being a mean girl. If it wasn't you, it probably would've been someone else so please don't take it personal. However, I do understand how it makes you scratch your head trying to figure out why people do things like this. It's like "ok, you did what you did; now what? How did being nasty improve your life?" I tell ya, life would be so much easier if we came with warning labels...
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