Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Apparently you missed his post on page 8 where he discusses his frustrated sex drive.
Yeah, I came in late and didn't read the whole thread. But the quote I gave, where cpg35223 accused the OP of trying to get girls naked asap, was on page 2, and by that point, all the OP had said was that he was trying to be friendly and sociable. Not to pick on cpg35223, his post is just typical of many that seem to be on the attack. I find it bewildering. You can look at the same post from cpg35223 where he says that girls just want to go out and have fun with their friends and new people, and at the same time, demands that the OP make up his mind whether he was going out to have fun with his friends, or meet new people. If his point is that women can have a dual purpose, and men can't, well, I just don't get that part of it.
Now, having read the OP's page 8 post, I can see where you might make the connection you made. But we could also interpret the situation as the guy not necessarily wanting to "hook up" that night, but wanting to be more social, with the understanding that, once in a while, it could lead to something. But I didn't see where he said that every encounter has to lead to the bedroom or else he's pissed. He didn't even say his intention was to pick someone up that night, even though cpg35223 mistakenly claimed that he said that. He did not.
I think it would be nice if people would just relax a little and not have to jump on people every chance they get. There was a famous speech a few days ago suggesting that people put themselves in the other person's shoes. I think it's a good idea. Maybe Cy was making an observation about the bar scene that was accurate, anyone ever think of that? I mean, it's not exactly a new concept that cold rejections often occur in bars.
Me and 2 friends decided to take a night on the town today. We went bar hopping (2 bars and a club) There were tonnes and tonnes of beautiful women out, but despite having worked up the courage to try and talk to the few, I could barely get a conversation out of any of them.
When I said "hi," only a few said "hi" back. No one inquired or tried to initiate a conversation after that so I tried a few simple ice breakers "what's your name?/Who're you here with?/What are some fun places around her besides this?/What do you do during the day?" but I only got short, curt answers. They were more brief interviews than conversations.
Some girls were just down right rude; when you say hi, they take one look at you, don't respond and look away.
People say its so easy to start a conversation with a stranger, but so many young women today seem so guarded and untrusting of strange men. It's like they build these minefields and walls around them that you have to tip-toe and poll-vault.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
Eitherway, what was supposed to be a chill night out with friends quickly became a discouraging and confidence-crushing experience.
dude, you probably look just as sketchy as you act. obviously, looking for love at a bar or club ain't gonna cut it; no matter what drunkfaces are there.
dude, you probably look just as sketchy as you act. obviously, looking for love at a bar or club ain't gonna cut it; no matter what drunkfaces are there.
I don't get that impression. I think most people look average. Wearing the right clothes, having the right hair cut, but most important the right attitude makes all the difference.
The problem in nightclubs is that they tend to be loud, and they aren't good places for most people to really get to know someone. They aren't good for quieter people. They're only good for the few who know how to act rico-suave. Smooth talkers, good dancers, those who have the right pick-up line and right approach and those who fall for the right pick-up line and right approach.
Someone asked, "What can you supposedly tell about some one by the way they dance?"
That sounds similar to judging a woman as being "no fun" if she doesn't like to play Dungeons and Dragons, or whatever. The fact is, some people aren't into dancing, just as a preference, nothing to do with comfort zone. The guys who dance aren't necessarily venturing out of their comfort zone, many of them go out clubbing every weekend, as a routine.
Cy has already shown guts, venturing out of his comfort zone, etc., just by going to clubs and trying to chat with people.
Seriously, it seems like people are trying too hard to say there's something wrong with the guy. From the original post, it sounds like he's a friendly and sincere person.
Then it sounds like Cy is the guy they're looking for. In his original post, he said he was looking for exactly the above, i.e., fun with friends and new people. Nothing about collecting phone numbers or getting naked. I don't see how you guys come up with that stuff. It's like you're itching to jump on the guy and accuse him of stuff he never did or said.
Cy, my suggestion is to continue to be a friendly and sincere person, which you seem to be, but don't count on bars and clubs as a place to find people who will appreciate it.
I would guess most people didn't meet their life-long mate or even most of their "significant others" in bars and nightclubs. Or certainly the beginning of their relationship wasn't cemented in the bar.
That sounds similar to judging a woman as being "no fun" if she doesn't like to play Dungeons and Dragons, or whatever. The fact is, some people aren't into dancing, just as a preference, nothing to do with comfort zone. The guys who dance aren't necessarily venturing out of their comfort zone, many of them go out clubbing every weekend, as a routine.
Cy has already shown guts, venturing out of his comfort zone, etc., just by going to clubs and trying to chat with people.
I'll repeat what I said, because I think you misread it. I'll add some color.
That he has guts. This is not to say that guys who don't dance are gutless, but it's pretty well known that a lot of guys refuse to dance. It takes courage for a guy to get over his self-consciousness and dance with a woman. Some of us really like a man who doesn't take himself too seriously and who tries to have fun. Also, a man who ventures out of his comfort zone demonstrates he might be open to other suggestions we might have.
So please don't assume I'm saying Cyan is gutless, or that men who don't dance are gutless. You're debating with a strawman. What I did say is that dancing takes courage for a lot of guys, and a lot of women recognize that. We notice.
The problem in nightclubs is that they tend to be loud, and they aren't good places for most people to really get to know someone. They aren't good for quieter people. They're only good for the few who know how to act rico-suave. Smooth talkers, good dancers, those who have the right pick-up line and right approach and those who fall for the right pick-up line and right approach.
I agree. In addition, what really worked against him was his being with a bunch of his single guy friends. What girl is going to feel comfortable meeting a guy to date when he is surrounded by his guy friends?
In addition, his guy friends don't have any skills in meeting girls either. Cyanosphere needs go solo in order to meet a girl to date. And he needs to accept that a boys night out on the town at a club isn't going to produce any results in the girl meeting department... so when he is out with his male friends, he should be enjoying the night only as a chance to hang out with them. But maybe he really doesn't like their company all that much.
I'll repeat what I said, because I think you misread it. I'll add some color.
That he has guts. This is not to say that guys who don't dance are gutless, but it's pretty well known that a lot of guys refuse to dance. It takes courage for a guy to get over his self-consciousness and dance with a woman. Some of us really like a man who doesn't take himself too seriously and who tries to have fun. Also, a man who ventures out of his comfort zone demonstrates he might be open to other suggestions we might have.
So please don't assume I'm saying Cyan is gutless, or that men who don't dance are gutless. You're debating with a strawman. What I did say is that dancing takes courage for a lot of guys, and a lot of women recognize that. We notice.
Yeah, I see your point. By the same token, I might add that men also appreciate when a women steps out of her comfort zone and goes straight for the horizontal tango. We see this as a sign of someone who doesn't take herself too seriously and likes to have fun -- not that the ones who don't do it aren't also fun. Cheers!
If you're going after these types of girls (shallow) you need to be the rockstar they're looking for. Just spike your hair in a blow out fashion. Grab some of that orange tanner stuff and put it all over you. Where a pink tie. Get some fake platinum long cross chain, put it around your neck. Get some fake diamonds, put one in each ear. Last but not least, get a huge belt buckle and make sure the front of your ed hurley shirt is tucked in so all the ladies can see it. If you take these steps, these types of girls will be all over you.
I am coming in late and I probably have already provided my opinion but I wanted to add after an experience. I live in AH-small town compared to Chicago-and the dt has a decent bar selection. so I went late and by and I didn't need to do anything when a girl approached me herself. You need to go by yourself and not look like a creep. Just do your own thing and look like you don't care it adds mystery and that is something one women will like to come and approach you.
I am most curious. What can you supposedly tell about some one by the way they dance?
I responded to your PM, but for the edification of the group, suffice it to say that you can tell how respectful someone is. Guys often lead the girl as if she is a puppet. She is less a partner and more a toy. Guys also sometimes put the girl in danger. And of course some guys take liberties with the girls and end up, not necessarily groping the girls, but doing things with their bodies that are presumptuous. There are some moves you wouldn't do with anyone except for your girlfriend. It's very disrespectful to do them with a girl who isn't.
You can also really tell a take charge guy on the dance floor. He REALLY takes over. He is probably a great leader in life. Dancing is a great way to learn what it is to be a man. So you can tell a manly man pretty quick.
Girls sometimes backlead, which means they lead themselves rather than let themselves be led. This is presumptuous and individualistic. Some people feel that the follower is subservient. But this isn't true. Both partners are equal. They just have different roles. And the roles don't switch well. The guy's role is to protect and entertain his partner above all else. It's insulting when a girl presumes that the guy won't do well in this, or that he doesn't need to do it. Then later on if she gets hurt she'll become angry with him, even if it is her fault. There is a lot to the relationship between leader and follower and a lot of girls don't recognize/accept it. When you are single, you must be independent. But when you enter into a committed relationship, you need to switch to interdependence, in which each of you become dependent upon the other. Girls who naturally backlead might have trouble one day making the switch.
Even if the good or bad habits aren't extreme, and even if the dancer is so advanced that they learn not to do these things, you can often still see the habits and personality of the person underneath.
Of course you shouldn't make black and white decisions about someone based upon your interpretations of the way they dance. I'm just saying that some of these things are caution flags.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
