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I noticed with women after the age of 30, that they started wanting to plan on having kids too. And I believed that things should happen naturally too. Thats why I got a vasectomy, continued dating, having sex (and sometimes lots of it) and just never told any of the women that I was with. It was perfect, because the ones that wanted to have a kid, kept F-ing as if their lives depended on it, in some attempt to get pregnant, not knowing the whole time that it wouldn't happen. Whenever I got to a point where I wanted out and needed to move on quickly, I would casually mention that I had a vasectomy. Over, just like that - it works perfectly.
Most women I know who are not in a committed marriage do not try to get pregnant no matter what the age. I don't know what type of women these are that are having lots of sex with you - but I suspect they probably were on birth control pills and just didn't bother to tell you.
If they were trying to get pregnant that is pretty sick and weird.
I know this is an old thread and I may have even responded way back when (don't want to read it all) but unless the OP edited his original post I see NOTHING wrong with anyone saying they want to settle down and have kids. It means they want a serious relationship and not a wham/bam type of thing. If that's all it takes to scare a guy then they sure are pussys. No guy is entitled to no obligation sex from anyone.
this is an old thread, I wonder what ended up happening, and if he ever found "the one".
Good grief, this thread is two years old and TVSG has continued to post and is still creating threads about exactly the same dilemmas. Resurrecting such an old thread only demonstrates that some things NEVER change and some people NEVER learn. A couple more years down the line and I'll be the first to eat my hat if anything changes ...
Most women I know who are not in a committed marriage do not try to get pregnant no matter what the age. I don't know what type of women these are that are having lots of sex with you - but I suspect they probably were on birth control pills and just didn't bother to tell you.
If they were trying to get pregnant that is pretty sick and weird.
No more sick and weird than him having lots of unprotected sex with strange women, especially with the idea that he's pulling one over on their compulsive baby-having fantasies.
I met this girl online in April and we have been chatting on the phone since then and supposed to meet next week but I'm a little uncomfortable her mentioning how she is at the age now(31) where she is looking to be married and have kids.
It screams 2 things: 1)There's a good chance she's crazy and 2)"You weren't good enough to f*ck me when I was in my prime and slutted it up with various jerkoffs, but you're good enough to be my security blanket and settle down with".
I met this girl online in April and we have been chatting on the phone since then and supposed to meet next week but I'm a little uncomfortable her mentioning how she is at the age now(31) where she is looking to be married and have kids.
I really don't need to hear this because I think things should happen naturally. I don't want to talk about marriage when I haven't met you yet. And her references to us living together is something that makes me uncomfortable and seriously considering not meeting her.
Guys if you were me would you be turned off?
Do you mind if I give you my two cents?
Actually, I can see your point. But don't you think it's best to bring that up early in a forming relationship? I know it must be scary when such a serious topic is layed out on the table so soon, but if two people should be at the opposite ends of the spectrum on important matters as this, then it is best to nip it in the bud.
One of my friends, who is in her 30's and still childless, ended up in a relationship with a guy who didn't want kids (she does). She never addressed that concern with him, and eventually she dumped him, after his feelings for her had deepened. She really needed to be honest about it much earlier.
And it's good to get a 'feel' for a guy's views on permanency, because if his values don't match hers then it is a waste of time for both.
I just send her email saying that I don't think we should meet face to face because I i't want kids and that sheshould talk to a guy who is looking for the same thing she is in the next 5 years.
Her conversations were starting to make me unomfortable and could no longer talk to her. If we had not met face to face and been on 3 dates it was no reason forher t say-"did you miss me?
If you're so sure that you don't want kids, why not get a vasectomy?
That way, there'd be no need for discussion.
I know plenty of women who are not interested in breeding.
I'm one of them.
You're looking for excuses.
Why not just bow out gracefully?
You're adult enough for that, aren't you?
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