The former wife vs. the new wife regarding financial obligations (wedding, personal)
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I too have known some second wives who really begrudged that support money their husbands obligated themselves to long before he and the second wife were married. You are right, they knew what his obligations were before they married him, they have no right to complain.
Totally agree, it is what it is. Who in their right mind would want to be with a man who failed to fulfill his obligations to his family? Pretty shortsighted.
Again, that's why they must wait to spend it on their "support" until they turn 18.
Buying their first car, or using it to further their education is still a way to support the child, that the custodial parent is absolved from the responsibility for.
And in that way, the system--the imperfect system that was set up--is NOT abused by the custodial parent.
Someone who has never baked is never going to win a Betty Crocker bake-off.
Someone who has not been medical school and trained to be a surgeon is never going to be able to perform a heart transplant.
Someone who has never even driven a car is not going to be able to race at the Daytona 500.
And an adult who came from an abusive home, is not married and has never had children of his own is never going to understand how other people's children should be cared for and supported after a divorce
People, let's all consider the source here.
Last edited by lovesMountains; 08-30-2010 at 10:23 AM..
Reason: spelling~
The traffic on this road travels in both directions.
DH's ex was constantly trying to get my income computed into DH's child support order, as I had somehow incurred an obligation to support her kids. You think that mentality goes both ways? Don't even ask.
You should have seen the temper tantrum that ensued when DH and I had children.
I say this as a woman -- women can be very cold hearted when it comes to other people's kids. My husband's mother's second husband had a son who lived in a foreign country. (ie was abandoned by daddy when he came to the US) One day father dearest decided he wanted this boy to come live with him (due to the terrible conditions in this other country) Well, after a short time, his wife decided this wasn't what she bargained for and the kid was shipped back to the island country where he came from, intestinal worms and all. My husband still holds that against both his mother and his step-father.
Did the man suddenly develop fatherly concern and import his son from the foreign country after he married your mother in law?
The traffic on this road travels in both directions.
DH's ex was constantly trying to get my income computed into DH's child support order, as I had somehow incurred an obligation to support her kids. You think that mentality goes both ways? Don't even ask.
You should have seen the temper tantrum that ensued when DH and I had children.
I can imagine lol
I remember when I was with a divorced guy (briefly - long story) with kids to support and the ex wanted to know if I was "going to work or stay home"......... he to his credit told her that was really none of her damn business but it was easy to see where she was going with it.
I remember when I was with a divorced guy (briefly - long story) with kids to support and the ex wanted to know if I was "going to work or stay home"......... he to his credit told her that was really none of her damn business but it was easy to see where she was going with it.
Funny thing is, it wasn't about money. The number of cases in this state of someone getting a reduction in an already established support order because of additional children is minuscule. She was never in danger of losing any of her support, she was just enraged he had the nerve to have kids with someone else. Not an unknown phenom when dealing with exs.
Even stranger it is a rarity for an ex to get more money based on a subsequent spouses income but that doesn't stop the money-grubbers from trying.
No, it wouldn't work. A seven-year-old boy breaks his arm and needs to go to the hospital. Where is the money going to come from? He can't wait until he is 18 to get his arm cast. Please don't reply that "Not all kids break bones," because we're talking about a real possibility and lots of kids DO break bones, and please don't answer, "Well, my parents never took me to the doctor to fix my broken bones, and I turned out fine," because this is not about you, as you admitted. This is about a boy with normal parents and broken arm. Child support helps pay for doctor bills. If the custodial parent does not have access to the money, where does it come from?
If the money was to go to the kid at 18 (which is stupid), then you've got one sole parent supporting the kid the entire 18 years. Therefore, the kid owes that parent and the parent should get the money when kid turns 18.
The kid doesn't owe the parent anything--that's their JOB to take care of any children they have, unless they give up that child.
I have seen what doesn't work. I have seen the system abused. If the system can be abused, then it is imperfect, and needs to be replaced by something that cannot be abused.
Newsflash - anything the government touchs is flawed to begin with - this should be no surprise to you.
Sure there are SOME abuses in the system - but you don't throw the baby out with the bath water just because of that.
If this is a big issue for you (and I can't imagine why it would be with no kids of your own) then sign on somewhere to work for reform.
Even with most insurance, a parent would have to pay the emergency room copay (mine is $150) and other fees. Even a trip to the regular doctor incurs a copay. And then you have the cost of any prescriptions and any other incidental costs (X-rays, anesthesiologist, whatever) that may arise. And the money from this has to be paid now, unless the parent is a deadbeat who takes advantage of hospitals and doesn't ever pay, and I hope that's not your advised solution.
Even if a parent's insurance covered the entire ordeal (such as if the parent had a great policy or AFLAC to cover the difference), the money to pay these premiums has to be paid.
The money doesn't materialize out of thin air, obviously. Someone has to pay it. Child + Parent costs more than Person alone. The non-custodial parent helps make up the difference of the two.
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