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When I met my husband twenty four years ago, we were both teenagers living in a small town in PA. It was the basic small factory town common in PA where almost every man went to work out of High School and lived the factory life. My husband is blue collar working class, true and blue. If you were casting for a movie and wanted someone who looked like a blue collar factory worker- he would be the right choice.
But now we are in our forties and he is still in the factory but in a larger town and I work as an Attorney. My intellectual skills, education and income has gone way up from the day we got married. He is still the same person. He does not read, follow the news, talk about interesting things, or do anything to expand his mind or career.
We do not fight, just exist in the same house. We have four kids which makes a divorce difficult. He knows I am frustrated with him but can not change. Sometimes I think he does not have the intellectual skills to move out of his factory working class existence.
What should I do? I have passed my husband by mentally, emotionally, financially, occupationally, and intellectually. (Yes, I know I sound like a snob, but we are opposites)
The pertinent question is...does he have a large penis? Not big up there but big down there is a-okay, riiiiiight?
You married the guy, now you're complaining because he bores you.
Get real!
Quote:
Originally Posted by White Collar Worker
When I met my husband twenty four years ago, we were both teenagers living in a small town in PA. It was the basic small factory town common in PA where almost every man went to work out of High School and lived the factory life. My husband is blue collar working class, true and blue. If you were casting for a movie and wanted someone who looked like a blue collar factory worker- he would be the right choice.
But now we are in our forties and he is still in the factory but in a larger town and I work as an Attorney. My intellectual skills, education and income has gone way up from the day we got married. He is still the same person. He does not read, follow the news, talk about interesting things, or do anything to expand his mind or career.
We do not fight, just exist in the same house. We have four kids which makes a divorce difficult. He knows I am frustrated with him but can not change. Sometimes I think he does not have the intellectual skills to move out of his factory working class existence.
What should I do? I have passed my husband by mentally, emotionally, financially, occupationally, and intellectually. (Yes, I know I sound like a snob, but we are opposites)
Intellectually-craving, mentally-stimulating junkies can be very taxing to be with. I feel insecure, nervous the minute there's a long lull in the conversation as I know what these brain junkies want from me, more and more and more intellectual stimulation. And do they ever get enough? Never.
Just like drug addicts, alcoholics, never enough heroin, never enough alcohol
to please them.
As long as this guy can pleasure you in bed, hang on to him for dear life, and find intellectually stimulating friends to fill the void.
Or take up Tantric Bhuddism, the goal of which is to reach that delightful state of nirvana: thoughtlessness.
Intellectually-craving, mentally-stimulating junkies can be very taxing to be with. I feel insecure, nervous the minute there's a long lull in the conversation as I know what these brain junkies want from me, more and more and more intellectual stimulation. And do they ever get enough? Never.
That's right. It's never enough. I like your advice about finding a friend to fill the void.
Where is the girl He married ? if you are not the girl he married who are you ?
That's the girl he fell in love with . guys don't change very much that way.
I really loved my wife the way she was when we were first married , the sex wasn't great but we were both virgins. At least I knew I was.
but as it turned out she turned out to be her mother all over again. her mother is not very passionate. I should have known.
She depended on me to start ,maintain and hold a conversation which almost always turned into being an arguement, because her communication skills were limited to only looking at the opposit side of the discussion, even if it disagreed with her self. finally I did not want to talk at all to her, there was nothing that could be discussed , no answers just argument. for the sake of argument. Like ai was being tested over and over and over and over.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .....................................
I am alone now but at least this alone is by my self, not alone with some one that does not want to communicate. that's insane.
So I understand how you feel to some degree.
we stayed together 35 years the kids are adults
I have no advise for you acceept that if you are as smart as you say may be you should find a way to find things in common with him ,don't be competitive , he doesn't need that, he needs you, just to love him. your intellect might impress your friends but if it is dividing your relationship , that ego might just be more dangerous than you think. A good man has got to be worth more than speculating on something better your friends may be pushing you to do. (with out actually saying it)
Jaysus people, everyone loves to judge and take a stab. Yeah she has 4 children with this guy but if they aren't getting along and bored of each other, you think the kids won't know? Would you rather them divorce on good terms and see both of them be happy? Instead of witnessing mommy and daddy fooling around behind each others back and then start having verbal domestic altercations in front of the children which can be hard on them?
There's nothing wrong with the way she feels. I don't think she's being snobbish and I'm sure she has nothing against him but she just wants someone she can relate to and I'm sure he wants the same. They just aren't feeling each other right now and its as simple as that. I'm not a believer of let the marriage work for "the sake of the children.". I've seen and know plenty of people who's parents were divorced or never married and still maintained a great life. It's all about in the manner of how its done.
Jaysus people, everyone loves to judge and take a stab. Yeah she has 4 children with this guy but if they aren't getting along and bored of each other, you think the kids won't know? Would you rather them divorce on good terms and see both of them be happy? Instead of witnessing mommy and daddy fooling around behind each others back and then start having verbal domestic altercations in front of the children which can be hard on them?
There's nothing wrong with the way she feels. I don't think she's being snobbish and I'm sure she has nothing against him but she just wants someone she can relate to and I'm sure he wants the same. They just aren't feeling each other right now and its as simple as that. I'm not a believer of let the marriage work for "the sake of the children.". I've seen and know plenty of people who's parents were divorced or never married and still maintained a great life. It's all about in the manner of how its done.
I agree. People DO change after a number of years, especially if one grows and one stays the same. Some people can work around this and manage by finding any common ground that they do have. Others become two strangers living together, and it cannot be fixed.
And there are instances where you get divorced for the sake of the children, too. I did, and my daughter is grateful to me for doing so. I've also been able to maintain a civil relationship with her father that was not possible when we were married.
Antlered revived it to make a point and now will follow another 30 pages of repetitive re-hash. Sigh and ignore!
I only sought to revive it on grounds of the relevance of factory worker husbands
I'm innocent of crime
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I like your advice about finding a friend to fill the void. 
There's a movie I'd recomend called "fire proof"
