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This has come up indirectly in the relationships thread a few times recently (and I have my own opinion) but what do you guys think- Can a man and woman be close friends if one or both are married to someone else? Where do you draw the line in male/female friendships like this? At what point does it become a problem or does it?
My husband and I are friend with mostly couples.
We each have our own friends as well.. but most are the same sex. Although, I am not opposed him having female friends, because I do as well.. we do things with them as a couple. That way no one feels like they are "hiding" something.
All through my life I have had "best" friends who were male. When I was young(and beautiful) sometimes I had to pull away from male friends, because they wanted more than friendship. There is a difference between lust and friendship and the difference is usually pretty clear. I think everyone needs friends, sometimes you need your male friends input and sometimes your girlfriends input. My husband and I have each had male and female friends over the years. With a little jealousy at times (we are human beings) I value my male friends as much as my female ones.
My Dad used to laugh at me when I'd refer to a female friend as "she's just a friend". He'd always say the same thing; she's still a girl and you're still a boy and no matter what you believe you can't ever get far enough away from that fact.
Truth be told I've had many successful friendships with women in my lifetime. However in order for me to be friends with a woman these past twenty years (a.k.a. the length of time I've been with my wife) she would need to also be friends with my wife. No matter how honest or sincere or harmless it may be, a married man or woman should be overly cautious when maintaining friendships with he opposite sex.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay
This has come up indirectly in the relationships thread a few times recently (and I have my own opinion) but what do you guys think- Can a man and woman be close friends if one or both are married to someone else? Where do you draw the line in male/female friendships like this? At what point does it become a problem or does it?
I think you can have a very close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. My best friends have usually been males.
It is much easier, however, to maintain this friendship when you are single or not in some type of bf/gf, partner, husband/wife whatever point.
Once there is a "couple", THAT should be your best friend and regardless of how good your other friends are, I don't think there is any way to maintain what you had to the same degree. The new "couple" situation and responsibilities will absolve most of the time you had before for someone else.
I think probably "couples" will stick with other "couples" and singles will stick with singles, for the most part. It would be very hard to hang out at the mall, and the manicurist, at the concerts, at restaurants or cafes with your opposite sex or same sex best friend after you get into a commitment,
or should I say, after you are commited????
One of my favourite movies! But a movie is just that, and although like the move people often do end up a sexual relationship, male-female friendships without it, imo, are healthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBrown
I think Billy Krystal pretty much nailed it during the car trip with Meg Ryan in the beginning of the movie " When Harry met Sally"
I've always had friends of both sexes; no lines crossed, and only rarely a minor incidence of jealousy on someone's side (not mine).
I find having friends of both sexes rewarding--two different POV.
I find it rewarding too, but I also find it dangerous if you get TOO close.
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) sometimes I had to pull away from male friends, because they wanted more than friendship. There is a difference between lust and friendship and the difference is usually pretty clear. I think everyone needs friends, sometimes you need your male friends input and sometimes your girlfriends input. My husband and I have each had male and female friends over the years. With a little jealousy at times (we are human beings)
