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Lately it seems every other thread on here is filled with angry, often mysogynistic rants against women. These posts/threads reek of bitterness and discontentment. Why the need to blame an entire gender for the bad behavior or bad experiences with a few? I've heard that women are notorious for "man-bashing"(which is inexcusable as well) but all I see on here as of late is the opposite with thread topics of exhorting men to "never get married", plus the usual "women are superficial gold-diggers". Geez, don't you think it's getting a little old? I have personally had some very negative and hurtful experiences with men, but I would NEVER blame the male gender for my problems or hold any group or even any individual responsible for the foul acts of a few men. Has anyone else noticed the preponderance of these negative anti-women threads? What do you think?
Backlash.
For years some women have been man bashing online and off.
Whatever dissatisfaction some men had they just kept it bottled up.
Now some of the men are doing the same thing.
Because its no longer 'unmanly' to express one;s feelings.
Though bad mouthing the whole gender is not wise, most people are probably just referring to their own bad experiences but for whatever reason not stating that specifically.
Backlash.
For years some women have been man bashing online and off.
Whatever dissatisfaction some men had they just kept it bottled up.
Now some of the men are doing the same thing.
Yes, that is the real change that the Internet has brought over the past decade. Men are now doing the same thing as women and probably with much more justification. Women hate this change.
For a long time, men also hated the male bashing but generally said nothing, hoping they could beat the odds and find a woman who wasn't like that and who would accept them as for what they are - the good and the bad.
The informed ones now realize that this is not going to happen and its far too easy for her to cash in at his expense when she isn't completely satisfied.
so I am re-posting this here to avoid the stupidly named thread:
Are women biologically programmed to reward cruelty, evil and domination?
There are so many inconsistencies in this woman's past that I could probably write a short book. Needless to say, she firmly believes that they are all legitimate!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn This is reminding me of a thread I'm participating in, in the education forum. User_id is noting the differences between peer review pre and post publication. He makes a good point. In the sciences, research/a paper is reviewed by a host of experts before it's published in whatever journal, which is a good thing, but he's noting that true peer review doesn't really happen until after publication because this is when other scientists can take the research and test it in their own labs. Something might look good on paper and we can talk about it all day, but until it's tried out we can't really know if there's funny business going on or if it's valid work. This is one of the processes that makes science so successful.
In the social et al -ologies this can't really happen and if it does, it seems like it would be more difficult and laborious. So, research surfaces, the media gets a hold of it...full stop. By the time another group publishes a contrary argument/objection to the work, the premise has already taken hold in the public arena. Then, keep in mind a lot of talking points aren't based on research, but opinions coming out of books from A.B.C. publisher with top ten sellers as the goal. None of this matters to either side of the argument.
The real problem is that people really don't know what will make them happy. Some people are never happy for long and they always blame their unhappiness on others.
An example is J, a woman I’ve known for nearly 20 years. She has been divorced twice and has had the ability to easily get in and out of a number of relationships.
Most of what I know about her is from what I’ve been told by her and observed but I also know one husband well and have discussed her situation with some others who have a different perspective.
When I first met her, she was married to husband #1. I only saw him once and he seemed a bit cold and distant. She told me that she divorced him because he didn’t want children. I didn’t know about her divorce until after I found out about her marriage to K, a man I knew but who wasn’t a close friend. At that time, I thought that I might have liked a chance but as often is the case, such things are kept a secret because she had her eye on one particular person and didn’t want any distractions.
K had a successful career in a job that paid OK but was not going to make them upper class. They had kids and I’m sure that he felt the pressure from her to earn more, so he moved to a job where he needed to work much longer hours and travel a lot. They got a better house and a cottage but about 5 years ago, she took me aside one evening while he was away and wanted to talk after the rest of our circle had left. We talked for more than 2 hours about how unhappy she was because he was “unsupportive”. I listened and occasionally gave her some suggestions. I kept her confidence about this even though I really wanted to tell K what she was having a problem with.
I saw them sporadically over the next several years. One day we met at a tournament and I invited her over to my hotel use the pool and hot tub. At that time she told me that their marriage was over. She’d got the house, a share in the cottage and $1300 a week in child support. I thought about what I thought about years earlier but was very busy at work and personally (My mother was very ill) so I thought that if I were to do anything about it, I’d have to wait until things got better.
Back at home some weeks later, she was at the club and afterwards, she jumped in my vehicle and asked me if I was interested in her. I couldn’t lie but I was worried that I could not give a relationship all that was needed. However I did my best under the circumstances. She came on to me quite forcefully. This was not my style – I’ve always wanted to get to know women first.
Anyhow, a couple of weeks went by and we dated several times. We talked a lot about why her relationships went sour and she told me she hated going to the cottage with the kids even though K would not be there. She seemed to revel in her ability to stick K with the childcare when it was to her advantage. Contrary to her assertion about him not being supportive, others told me that he was there for them more than her.
One day we were having coffee in an outdoor patio and a woman she knew approached. I was introduced but J seemed a bit irritated. I tried my best to be friendly but could tell that this woman wasn’t impressed with me.
The next time I arranged to meet with J, she was evasive about what we would do. It was apparent why when she gave me a short list of my shortcomings and said she didn’t want to date again. I asked her if she might reconsider. She seemed a bit embarrassed and guilty about this and the things she listed seemed a very flimsy and almost contrived. I suspect that her friend called her when she got home and it went something like “you must be kidding”. She would have impressed on her that she was making a mistake on the rebound, by not only getting into a relationship so soon after the split but by doing it with me.
The funny thing is my 9 of my 10 closest male friends told me that I was making the mistake. (The other said to never get involved with a recently divorced woman)
Unlike my previous experiences where I completely respected a woman’s decision, this time I felt that she had really got it wrong about me so I made an effort to see if I could change her mind. She didn’t make this easy and I got depressed and found myself doing what I had never done before – drinking more. This didn’t help and I finally realized that I had to break this off. Things then got better and I resolved to come to terms with this. I got interested in the relationship issue as a result.
Since then, she has found someone else and the more I see of her and her relationship with him, the more I realize that I was lucky. She has since bought her own cottage to compete for the affection of her kids! In many ways, she is not in what I would call a mature relationship. It appears to be almost high schoolish at times. I mentioned in a recent post about her getting jewelery at Valentines and how this seemed in her mind, to validate her new relationship.
Given the above, how can any social scientist glean any useful incite into someone’s needs, wants, desires and expectations?
Yet they take this and tell everyone how men need to be better at meeting a woman’s expectations!
Unlike my previous experiences where I completely respected a woman’s decision, this time I felt that she had really got it wrong about me so I made an effort to see if I could change her mind. She didn’t make this easy and I got depressed and found myself doing what I had never done before – drinking more. This didn’t help and I finally realized that I had to break this off. Things then got better and I resolved to come to terms with this. I got interested in the relationship issue as a result.
I am going to say this as gently as I can without sacrificing clarity, so kindly assume that this is coming with the best of intentions.
She told you it wasn't going to work, and you didn't listen to her. Instead you took it upon yourself to know what's best for another adult, and drove yourself nuts in the process.
That was your mistake--thinking you knew what was better for her or what she wanted more than she did. Note how I said "mistake." Not evil-doing. Not wrong-doing. Not malice. Mistake. We all make them.
And for this, you put yourself through the wringer, drank a whole bunch, and have nurtured this thread to more than 1,200 posts of resentment and thinly veiled animosity toward an entire sex, which some of your comrades in anger and rejection are only too happy to encourage.
Why?
No person, male or female, is worth that kind of effort, much less such self-destructive effort. She very clearly didn't want what you had to offer. Doesn't matter whether you think her priorities are messed up. Doesn't matter that you think she's got you pegged wrongly. What matters is that for whatever reason, she felt you weren't right for her. That's her choice to make, you know? It hurts and it sucks and it's not easy. But that kind of decision is not something you can control or change in another person.
And by the sound of your post, and all of your posts before it, you're still upset about it, and holding it against women everywhere.
What a colossal waste of time and energy. You could have met a wonderful woman by now.
Forgive yourself, and her. I promise, it will seem like a whole new world if you do.
Yeah people can be immature at times, but I don't think anyone means it when they make jokes about women. At least I hope they don't.
The way I see it, both genders make jokes about the other--but that doesn't mean that they're through with them. Just doing a little harmless teasing that addresses stereotypes.
[/b] There are so many inconsistencies in this woman's past that I could probably write a short book. Needless to say, she firmly believes that they are all legitimate!
Given the above, how can any social scientist glean any useful incite into someone’s needs, wants, desires and expectations?
Yet they take this and tell everyone how men need to be better at meeting a woman’s expectations!
Because they adhere to some sort of general behavioral model. And even though IMHO human behavior cannot be put into a box, the model works because society's structure in many cases has people fitting in to certain patterns or suffering in terms of socioeconomic success and relating to others on all levels.
Given the above, how can any social scientist glean any useful incite into someone’s needs, wants, desires and expectations?
Yet they take this and tell everyone how men need to be better at meeting a woman’s expectations!
Hi NotARedneck,
Let me explain how it works. Its called the impulse rationalization cycle. People are sensual/rational beings. When the sensory impulse is weak, then we tend to be rational such as simple politics like should we raise taxes for a school.
However when sensory inputs of pain, pleasure, and cravings override us, we create what are known as rationalizations.
"I over ate because I will diet tomorrow"
"I slept with her because I was emotionally isolated from my wife"
The above is a pack of lies. Its all about cravings.
Women want things, but they often feel guilt for wanting them. People are hardwired to exploit opportunities and its just a matter of the mind that feels the sensual impulse.
So what women do is create lots of rationalizations and feints for what they really want. They are just lies. People are designed to survive and procreate and over those impulses are rationalizations and obfuscations which make no sense. Its why women hate themselves for liking a man on paper, but still not feeling anything for them. Women all know a great guy for someone else. Men tend to do this as well.
Because they adhere to some sort of general behavioral model. And even though IMHO human behavior cannot be put into a box, the model works because society's structure in many cases has people fitting in to certain patterns or suffering in terms of socioeconomic success and relating to others on all levels.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1
Hi NotARedneck,
Let me explain how it works. Its called the impulse rationalization cycle. People are sensual/rational beings. When the sensory impulse is weak, then we tend to be rational such as simple politics like should we raise taxes for a school.
However when sensory inputs of pain, pleasure, and cravings override us, we create what are known as rationalizations.
"I over ate because I will diet tomorrow"
"I slept with her because I was emotionally isolated from my wife"
The above is a pack of lies. Its all about cravings.
Women want things, but they often feel guilt for wanting them. People are hardwired to exploit opportunities and its just a matter of the mind that feels the sensual impulse.
So what women do is create lots of rationalizations and feints for what they really want. They are just lies. People are designed to survive and procreate and over those impulses are rationalizations and obfuscations which make no sense. Its why women hate themselves for liking a man on paper, but still not feeling anything for them. Women all know a great guy for someone else. Men tend to do this as well.
You guys got this.
I notice that Avienne is giving me condolences for this example but this was hardly my purpose. It took me about 6 weeks to put this behind me and its only because I see this woman regularly that she is such a good example of what is wrong with doing studies on why women were dissatisfied with their marriages. She almost never ceases to surprise me with her inconsistencies. I imagine that I would find most other divorced women the same, if I had the same background about them.
What I read and actually believed for many years was what the MSM presented from the academic studies they perused. This presented a portrayal of men who were either unwilling or unable to meet women's expectations and needs. "IF ONLY men could be better", they would imply, this problem of a high divorce rate would abate.
This of course is nonsense. Women's demands are constantly shifting as they find that getting what they want has collateral costs. Life is not black and white but many men get caught up in trying one thing after another to please their spouse. Then at some point, they just give up. This is one thing I found out afterwards about her 2nd spouse, from his close friends. Of course the women I know tend to blame him, as they typically do, since a husband's prime role must be to please his wife at all costs.
I agree however that here really is no answer other than to find the "wonderful" woman that Avienne suggests that I should. Unfortunately, I haven't seen any around my age for many years. The divorcees I see have many affectations that probably were a big factor in their divorces and would likely drive me nuts in short order. The "wonderful women" I do know, who are around my age, are married and have been for decades. Some couples do beat the odds but there is a window of opportunity that closes. It might be different if I lived in a place where was not such an imbalance between single men and women.
My main purpose on this site is to bring out the negative things that are seldom discussed about both males and females. Women don't like this because it conflicts with their romantic, swept of your feet style of coupling. As well, looks are far more important to them than when divorce was rare. While young, many men let lust overrule common sense.
Since many men - probably more than half - are of little or no interest of women while in their 20s, more are now fully mature before they are in a position to have to decide on marriage. With all the information now out there, it is no wonder that more and more are saying "no thanks" every year. I'm just trying to help those who haven't got the message and many men are grateful for this.
Women have little interest in the truth I present to them about players and other superficially desirable men.
Let me explain how it works. Its called the impulse rationalization cycle. People are sensual/rational beings. When the sensory impulse is weak, then we tend to be rational such as simple politics like should we raise taxes for a school.
However when sensory inputs of pain, pleasure, and cravings override us, we create what are known as rationalizations.
"I over ate because I will diet tomorrow"
"I slept with her because I was emotionally isolated from my wife"
The above is a pack of lies. Its all about cravings.
Women want things, but they often feel guilt for wanting them. People are hardwired to exploit opportunities and its just a matter of the mind that feels the sensual impulse.
So what women do is create lots of rationalizations and feints for what they really want. They are just lies. People are designed to survive and procreate and over those impulses are rationalizations and obfuscations which make no sense. Its why women hate themselves for liking a man on paper, but still not feeling anything for them. Women all know a great guy for someone else. Men tend to do this as well.
I had an impulse to hit the guy back that kicked me, but it was one of mere milliseconds. My rational mind did take over quickly, and determined I was not injured or harmed, and it would not benefit me to retaliate. And that I was not under any sort of threat, and could imagine that showing restraint was even more of an "F.U."
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This Seems To Be Braunwyn's Thread...
