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Getting to know someone is part of the fun of dating. But there are a lot of things you'd probably wish you knew ahead of time. For example, suppose you don't want kids. Are you going to go around asking every woman you meet, "Do you want kids?" Are you going to spring that question on every first date? How long before you do bring it up? Now imagine doing this with every person you date and doing it for every potential deal breaker you have? That adds up to a lot of time (and money) spent on people who were wrong for you. That's what I'm referring to as wasted time.
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Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
Doesn't e-harmony cater to an older demographic? That's what the TV ads make it sound like, where divorced daddy or mommy can hook up
False. It caters to people who are looking for serious relationships, not short-term flings or one-night stands.
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Originally Posted by Tropical Trouble
Why not use both? I'm in a couple meetup groups (running & hiking) and also use online dating sites. I volunteer and stay pretty busy so there are plenty of opportunities to meet people.
Exactly. People act like online dating is an either/or proposition. It's not. You can go online and still rely on more traditional methods.
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Originally Posted by ChessieMom
The "point" of it, young one, is to find someone that you might enjoy spending time with, based on common interests personality traits, and of course, physical appeal. The only "matching" that the site does, is filter out those people that you don't want to see based on the "check box" preferences you selected. Such a simple concept, really.
It really is that simple and yet some people can't grasp it. Match and similar sites let you have total control. eharmony selects the matches for you. But what's the big deal? It's not like you're required to contact the people they send you.
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Originally Posted by JSizzle225
2) I do a plenty horrible job of picking out dates on the street. I don't see myself being any less horrible at it with a computer.
The problem with the traditional approach is that it essentially relies on luck. You go to work, school, the gym, etc. hoping that someone who matches your criteria will be there too. When that doesn't happen, you expand the list of places you go to cause you want to increase the pool of potential matches. It could be a bar, a party, a club for some hobby you enjoy. But then what do you do when you still haven't met anyone you'd want to date? You look for other places to keep expanding that pool. Going online is just another one of those places, allowing you to meet people who you might normally not meet. But if all you're doing is going from place to place hoping that you and Mr. or Mrs. Right will be in the same place at the same time and meet...can you imagine trying to find a job that way?
women like the other sites better than eharmony because the ratio of men to women is in their favor. I already covered this subject with the stats I have on the free sites like pof and okcupid. Also anyone can research these statistics for themselves. On sites like eharmony there is no cherry picking people based just on how tall they are eharmony doesn't let you be that shallow. You're matches are sent to you based on personality compatibility mostly. I fail to see why this concept eludes so many people.
real life is better for meeting someone but it is based way more on luck it's mostly just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. most of the people you meet in real life aren't even single unless you're like a 20 year old college student. you can join 10 different clubs and there might not be one eligible woman in any of them, the day after you quit those 10 clubs 5 single women might join one of them. There's tons of luck involved in real life.
I don't look for jobs online, is that the comparison you are making? I use my social network to get in contact with people. The jobs online are either unrealistic or unreasonable. The one or two on dice that are real, would have 15,000 applicants.
I admit I'm terrible at picking chicks. So the eharmony thing was half way interesting. BUT THEY WON'T LET ME LOOK AT PICS!! I'm not a shallow man, but I'm still a man. I need to have some level of attraction to even start talking to a woman. I don't know if that site is littered with mouth breathers or what. I'm not giving away an email address and filling out a 6 hour questionnaire just to look at pictures.
real life is better for meeting someone but it is based way more on luck it's mostly just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. most of the people you meet in real life aren't even single unless you're like a 20 year old college student. you can join 10 different clubs and there might not be one eligible woman in any of them, the day after you quit those 10 clubs 5 single women might join one of them. There's tons of luck involved in real life.
Thank you. Finally someone else who understands the limitations of meeting someone offline.
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Originally Posted by JSizzle225
I don't look for jobs online, is that the comparison you are making? I use my social network to get in contact with people. The jobs online are either unrealistic or unreasonable. The one or two on dice that are real, would have 15,000 applicants.
I admit I'm terrible at picking chicks. So the eharmony thing was half way interesting. BUT THEY WON'T LET ME LOOK AT PICS!! I'm not a shallow man, but I'm still a man. I need to have some level of attraction to even start talking to a woman. I don't know if that site is littered with mouth breathers or what. I'm not giving away an email address and filling out a 6 hour questionnaire just to look at pictures.
Anger level, out of 10 =
No, that's not the comparison I was making. What I was trying to do was get you to imagine what it would be like to search for a job by relying on luck. Imagine if I took the hiring managers of 30 companies in your city and put them into a room. Then you go into that room hoping one of them not only has a job opening, but has one that matches what you're looking for. Notice that I just described a job fair, which is why most are a waste of time. That's essentially what you're doing by following the traditional approach of dating. Going into a room or some other place and hoping that someone who interests you is there too. This approach relies a lot on luck. I could join a gym hoping to meet someone. There might be someone who goes to that same gym who'd be perfect for me. But she goes to the gym at a different time than me. So we never meet. With online dating, I don't have that problem.
As for not being able to view pictures on eharmony, you obviously don't understand the premise of the site. They're trying to get you to look past a person's appearance and focus on personality. If that's something you're unwilling or unable to do, then the answer is simple. DON'T SIGN UP! But don't complain about the rules of the site AFTER you've signed up. Do your homework about it before signing up. And BTW, paying members can view member's pictures provided they've made them available.
Thank you. Finally someone else who understands the limitations of meeting someone offline.
No, that's not the comparison I was making. What I was trying to do was get you to imagine what it would be like to search for a job by relying on luck. Imagine if I took the hiring managers of 30 companies in your city and put them into a room. Then you go into that room hoping one of them not only has a job opening, but has one that matches what you're looking for. Notice that I just described a job fair, which is why most are a waste of time. That's essentially what you're doing by following the traditional approach of dating. Going into a room or some other place and hoping that someone who interests you is there too. This approach relies a lot on luck. I could join a gym hoping to meet someone. There might be someone who goes to that same gym who'd be perfect for me. But she goes to the gym at a different time than me. So we never meet. With online dating, I don't have that problem.
As for not being able to view pictures on eharmony, you obviously don't understand the premise of the site. They're trying to get you to look past a person's appearance and focus on personality. If that's something you're unwilling or unable to do, then the answer is simple. DON'T SIGN UP! But don't complain about the rules of the site AFTER you've signed up. Do your homework about it before signing up. And BTW, paying members can view member's pictures provided they've made them available.
I don't understand why the job fair wouldn't work? Obviously we are just on different wave lengths here. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
Where is Chessiemom. If anyone can turn me it is her. She is wise in the ways of the internets. I bet she personally knows Al Gore.
Thank you. Finally someone else who understands the limitations of meeting someone offline.
No, that's not the comparison I was making. What I was trying to do was get you to imagine what it would be like to search for a job by relying on luck. Imagine if I took the hiring managers of 30 companies in your city and put them into a room. Then you go into that room hoping one of them not only has a job opening, but has one that matches what you're looking for. Notice that I just described a job fair, which is why most are a waste of time. That's essentially what you're doing by following the traditional approach of dating. Going into a room or some other place and hoping that someone who interests you is there too. This approach relies a lot on luck. I could join a gym hoping to meet someone. There might be someone who goes to that same gym who'd be perfect for me. But she goes to the gym at a different time than me. So we never meet. With online dating, I don't have that problem.
As for not being able to view pictures on eharmony, you obviously don't understand the premise of the site. They're trying to get you to look past a person's appearance and focus on personality. If that's something you're unwilling or unable to do, then the answer is simple. DON'T SIGN UP! But don't complain about the rules of the site AFTER you've signed up. Do your homework about it before signing up. And BTW, paying members can view member's pictures provided they've made them available.
I understand that eharmony is full of sh*T since don't let you view photos first and then you pay the 60 dollars only to find you have a lot in common with a MONSTER who lives 100 miles away.
I don't understand why the job fair wouldn't work?
Because you're relying too much on chance. What if there are lots of companies out there that would hire you, but none happened to be at that job fair? Or what if all the companies at the fair were hiring, just not in your field? Congratulations. You just spent the afternoon in a room full of companies who have no use for you.
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Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
I understand that eharmony is full of sh*T since don't let you view photos first and then you pay the 60 dollars only to find you have a lot in common with a MONSTER who lives 100 miles away.
Coming from a guy who's been shown to be a hypocrite when it comes to the issue of photos, this is pretty laughable. BTW, you can limit the search radius to something less than 100 miles.
Because you're relying too much on chance. What if there are lots of companies out there that would hire you, but none happened to be at that job fair? Or what if all the companies at the fair were hiring, just not in your field? Congratulations. You just spent the afternoon in a room full of companies who have no use for you.
Chance is romantic though...fate is romantic. I don't think I'd go to a job fair for nurses, that'd be ridiculous. That would be like me going to a bar full of Single Satanists, 40+ women, or a gay singles bar. Obviously I'm not silly enough to stumble in there. I'm in a good age range. I can date a lot of different type of women...my problem has been that it's been "too young" lately.
And I may not get a job in my field...but I might meet a contact that can lead me to the right location. Same thing with a date...she could have a friend.
I'm just trying to learn. But you are acting like there is just no way that fate can pass you by on a online dating site? I say it is just as much up to fate as anywhere else. If you don't like bars...or don't like parks...or don't are just shy that's very understandable. My phone could ring, while I'm on a site, and I forget what I was going to right...and I just forget about it...and that chick could have been my next Ex Wife.
Chance is romantic though...fate is romantic. I don't think I'd go to a job fair for nurses, that'd be ridiculous. That would be like me going to a bar full of Single Satanists, 40+ women, or a gay singles bar. Obviously I'm not silly enough to stumble in there. I'm in a good age range. I can date a lot of different type of women...my problem has been that it's been "too young" lately.
And I may not get a job in my field...but I might meet a contact that can lead me to the right location. Same thing with a date...she could have a friend.
I'm just trying to learn. But you are acting like there is just no way that fate can pass you by on a online dating site? I say it is just as much up to fate as anywhere else. If you don't like bars...or don't like parks...or don't are just shy that's very understandable. My phone could ring, while I'm on a site, and I forget what I was going to right...and I just forget about it...and that chick could have been my next Ex Wife.
Fate is just another word for luck. If I were searching for something, whether it be a job, a date, or someone to marry and have kids with, I would not rely just on chance. Networking is certainly a viable option for finding a job and I'm not saying it shouldn't be employed. But it does essentially boil down to luck, hoping that you'll eventually meet someone who can help you land a job. That's why I would employ other more targeted methods as well. And where did I say fate can't pass you by on a dating site? Of course it can. You could sign up for match.com today and the perfect girl for you might've just she canceled her membership yesterday. The point is to employ methods that increase your odds of meeting someone. The more methods you have, the better your odds. That's why I don't understand these people who say they're having trouble meeting people, but then they exclude online dating from their list of approaches. If you really believe meeting someone happens by fate, wouldn't it make more sense to use as many approaches as you can?
I tried it. What a mistake..I put specific requirements on what I was looking for and got tons of wrong replies. Guys from out of state, guys old enough to be my father. I went on two dates: One didn't look anything like his picture and the other was so uptight and boring!!! Never again
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I'm in a couple meetup groups (running & hiking) and also use online dating sites. I volunteer and stay pretty busy so there are plenty of opportunities to meet people.
is to find someone that you might enjoy spending time with, based on common interests personality traits, and of course, physical appeal. The only "matching" that the site does, is filter out those people that you don't want to see based on the "check box" preferences you selected. Such a simple concept, really.
I'm not a shallow man, but I'm still a man. I need to have some level of attraction to even start talking to a woman. I don't know if that site is littered with mouth breathers or what. I'm not giving away an email address and filling out a 6 hour questionnaire just to look at pictures.
