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The following are pretty much mandatory to be considered a civilized person, in my book:
1) Saying please, thank you, and you're welcome.
2) Holding the door open for others.
3) Writing thank-you notes. 4) Standing to greet an adult entering the room.
5) Attending funerals for those dear to those you care about or, failing that, at least writing a condolence letter (No, cheesy Hallmark cards don't count). 6) Standing when a lady enters or leaves a room.
7) Turning off the television when company comes.
8) Being able-bodied and giving up one's seat on a subway or bus to someone who's elderly or pregnant.
9) RSVPing to an invitation.
If you cannot do items 1-5, 8, and 9, then I just really have nothing to say to you.
Not always. Men stand for women of the same social station, but women do not stand for men. I would stand for someone above me, such as someone much older or a dignitary of some sort. I would not stand for another woman. (Hmm, that sounds wrong.)
The following are pretty much mandatory to be considered a civilized person, in my book:
1) Saying please, thank you, and you're welcome.
2) Holding the door open for others.
3) Writing thank-you notes.
4) Standing to greet an adult entering the room.
5) Attending funerals for those dear to those you care about or, failing that, at least writing a condolence letter (No, cheesy Hallmark cards don't count).
6) Standing when a lady enters or leaves a room.
7) Turning off the television when company comes.
8) Being able-bodied and giving up one's seat on a subway or bus to someone who's elderly or pregnant.
9) RSVPing to an invitation.
If you cannot do items 1-5, 8, and 9, then I just really have nothing to say to you.
Not always. Men stand for women of the same social station, but women do not stand for men. I would stand for someone above me, such as someone much older or a dignitary of some sort. I would not stand for another woman. (Hmm, that sounds wrong.)
Children always stand for adults, though.
True. I should have been more specific.
The entire point of manners is to respect other people. Show me someone who thinks manners are some outdated ritual, and I'll show you somebody who is in it for themselves.
The entire point of manners is to respect other people. Show me someone who thinks manners are some outdated ritual, and I'll show you somebody who is in it for themselves.
ah, yes, i see you've been brainwashed by the debutaunte coordinators of the deep south. they apparently never asked you to prance around in a circle in a pengiun suit like they did me. we all comply because, as you can see in the thread, the ladies strongly approve.
manners are about respect, but that is not the entire point, as you say. an additional and equally important role of manners are for the upper class to distinguish themselves from different, lower social classes. it is a competition, which is why sometimes the traditions feel so absurd.
I must admit I'm surprised (pleasantly) at your replies! I was expecting that many people believe that a guy in particular who shows good manners is an easily taken advantage of and boring "nice guy".
ah, yes, i see you've been brainwashed by the debutaunte coordinators of the deep south. they apparently never asked you to prance around in a circle in a pengiun suit like they did me. we all comply because, as you can see in the thread, the ladies strongly approve.
manners are about respect, but that is not the entire point, as you say. an additional and equally important role of manners are for the upper class to distinguish themselves from different, lower social classes. it is a competition, which is why they are often so ridiculous.
This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read.
Notice that in my list of manners, I never said the first thing about knowing what fork to use with the fish or where to put the napkin when you leave the table. Nothing about what to wear to a funeral or a wedding, either.
Nope. I simply stated what are the fundamentals to ensure that others feel appreciated and welcome in any social setting. Sounds as if you could benefit from a few of those pointers.
Manners are a way of life in the south indeed. I hope they never go out of style, but I do see them slipping away with the younger generations. Seldom do you see a man stand when a women enters, remove their hat or pull out a chair. I use to see this often when I was young. I never understood it tho.
Most people always say please, thank you and excuse me, hold the door, lend a helping hand, and give up their seat to anyone older or weaker. I find myself having to reinforce this with my grandkids, apparently younger parents dont teach their children manners anymore.
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