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Socrates married a much younger woman, who was a notorious shrew. According to legend, she was the only person capable of making Socrates capitulate in an argument. One morning, in the course of yet another squabble, she emptied the contents of a chamber pot on his head. Socrates' reaction was truly worthy of history's most famous philosopher:
"It is a fundamental law of nature," said he, "First there is thunder, then comes the rain."
Speaking of ancient Greeks, the great philosopher Plato hated Homer's epic poems -- the Illiad and the Odyssey. According to Plato, Homer's poetry had two major flaws -- it mocked the Gods and encouraged people to question authority. Therefore, Plato argued that the Illiad and the Odyssey should be banned, except for two lines:
"Sit down, s.h.u.t. up and listed to me, "
and
"Stealthily the Greeks moved forward, obeying their commanders without question."
One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy."
The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and lovingly to his impressionable little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little brother or sister." The little boy replied, "Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
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