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No offense, but I'm not going to read through page after page in this thread to see if your post has been addressed. Quite frankly, there is absolutely nothing anyone could say that I haven't already heard about this subject.
Who cares why someone is gay, brittZ? I'll tell you who. I do. Why do I care? Because I am gay, and I want to know what my screwed up life has been all about, because I sure as hell didn't choose to be gay. If I can have some idea about why I am who I am, and how I became this way, perhaps I could finally find some peace and get on with living my life instead of constantly fighting freakin' ignorance about this subject, as well as a butt load of Christian hypocrisy - ESPECIALLY when NO ONE who is straight could POSSIBLY understand what it's all about, or what causes it.
Do NOT get me started on this subject. Ask Jeff.....he can tell you not to.
WCRob -
This puts a lot of clarity to the frustration you have expressed lately. I am not the person to talk to about this because, my feelings are strong. I can see from your hostility that your feelings are stong as well. I don't want to drag Hoosier into this, but he has been there and has dealt with the issue. Have you tried to have a private conversation with him. . . just a thought to possible help you find what you seek.
I truly believe that being homosexual is something people are born with.
OK, that being said I think that there are sociological patterns that could also contribute to this as well. In other words, I believe that there are those that are truly born gay and can do nothing about it, but I do believe some make a choice and I'll elaborate a little more.
Personally, I think that children who are sexually molested or even heavily physically abused may have the propensity to perform more taboo sexual acts when they are older. I think I read somewhere that a vast majority of porn actresses were either physically or sexually abused as children. My personal belief is that they grow up numb to the pleasures of just regular sex because it is not something special to them. In order for it to be a worthwhile sexual experience they must pursue other methods. Some take it to further extremes than others and I believe that has more to do with the psychological condition of the individual. I'm sure everyone on this board has come across some pretty strange stuff on the internet whether intentionally or not.
That being said, I do believe that SOME people make the choice to perform homosexual acts as a byproduct of their sociological surroundings. It may be a combination of a little physical abuse, coupled with bad relationships, and becoming slightly introverted as individuals and they find the gay community open and welcoming and tend to veer in that direction. I don't know if that is considered a choice as much as a lifestyle option.
So, yes, I think that some people are making a choice to perform homosexual acts but does that really make them gay? I know there could be a lot of childish answers to this but everyone on here is pretty grown up so don't take that last question the wrong way. What I'm getting at is: Because someone performs an act deemed gay, and may even live a homosexual lifestyle are they truly gay? On the other hand, there are people who I believe are just born gay and have a natural desire to be with individuals of the same sex. I wouldn't classify it as a mental (that sounds so harsh) condition for those that are born that way, but perhaps for the people who have "chosen" the lifestyle it is more of a desire to be an individual and separate themselves from what tormented them as children.
Sounds like sound rationale to me. I think saying that "everyone who is gay was born gay," is just as perilous, in absence of concrete proof in the form of scientific evidence, as saying "no one who is, or purports to be, gay was born gay." The percent of the gay population that has biological or cultural influence with regards to their sexuality might not easily be determined, but I think that it is safe to say that some people choose to engage in gay sex (and some people probably even choose to be "gay" -- that is, including love, not just sex) because of their storied pasts or because they've been influenced mentally.
The same could, and can, be, and probably is, true for heterosexuals as well.
I'm glad you introduced a new level of thought into this discussion, that is, being gay vs. participating in gay sexual acts and being heterosexual vs. participating in heterosexual sexual acts.
It all reinforces that human sexuality, and our ability to love, is best described as a spectrum. Some people might consider themselves to be heterosexual but find, in their lives, one or two people of the same sex who they could truly have sex with, or even love. Some people (like me) consider themselves to be gay, but would never close the possibility of falling in love, or at least having sex with, someone of the opposite gender.
I think that a lot of people who have been shunted to the sides of the spectrum by society's rigid and absurd constricts and views on sexual conduct are missing out on a tremendous opportunity to find true happiness and sexual excitement. Just look at today's divorce rates. I think that they were lower in the past because divorce was socially unacceptable, so people stayed in unhappy marriages. These days, with divorce being mainstream culturally (and even religiously), people who are trying to find happiness in their love and sex lives are more free to have more than one partner in their lives -- but perhaps they're just looking in the wrong place -- or put more aptly, missing out on a percentage of candidates.
Hope I made sense there. I'm not necessarily saying that gay or bisexual people who are unself-aware make up a majority (or even a large portion of a plurality) of the divorced population in the Western world, but when it comes to discussing love (the most important thing in our lives, IMO) and sex, mistakes and wrong interpretations can be tragic.
Jabo, I am just curious, and I'm not looking for a pat on the back, but just some kind of rating as to the accuracy of my previous post. I believe it's on page 13. Do you think that what I said is true? I'm just curious because, to me, that is the most logical answer that I can find. Since you are the only openly homosexual person that I can think of on the board I would like to hear a little more from your perspective. I am not trying to embarass you or throw you in front of the fire so please let me know if I overstepped my boundaries. I'm just interested.
Hopefully I addressed your question in my above post. Feel free to respond, as I love discussing human love, desire, and sexuality and pondering what makes us "us" when it comes to attraction.
There's no possible way you can embarrass me when it comes to sexuality -- I've been through, heard, and had to explain it all.
Location: Somewhere along the path to where I'd like to be.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brittZ
WCRob -
This puts a lot of clarity to the frustration you have expressed lately. I am not the person to talk to about this because, my feelings are strong. I can see from your hostility that your feelings are stong as well. I don't want to drag Hoosier into this, but he has been there and has dealt with the issue. Have you tried to have a private conversation with him. . . just a thought to possible help you find what you seek.
You know, I really mean no offense when I say this....and it's certainly not meant to be a flame....but I have no need to talk to Hoosier about this. I don't answer to Hoosier. Hoosier doesn't have any answers for me. I could ask him what his personal story is, but it wouldn't really matter.
As I said, there is nothing anyone could say about this subject that I haven't already heard and considered.
Why are you asking straight people what causes homosexuality?
LOL... that's a very good question! Unfortunately it seems more straight people care than gay, though I can't explain why. Maybe because it will validate their intolerance, or in reverse, their support? As I've mentioned before, I have many gay friends and family members, and I don't ask them "so, what made you gay?" It's just who they are, for possibly a whole bunch of reasons, and really it's none of our business.
I'm sure we can find gay people who fit every reason, because they are simply humans - and all humans have different experiences, backgrounds, motivations, and so forth. Trying to decide their reasoning amongst ourselves is condescending, and fairly unnecessary in my opinion. And yes, I did answer the poll to the best of my knowledge (and based on my personal observations), but by no means do I consider myself 100% "right".
I think you are sincere, but I think the behaviour can be dangerous, but is not inherently so.
Yes, that's a point I've tried to make in the past... BEING gay isn't dangerous, since that simply means you're attracted to the same gender. Having homosexual sex isn't necessarily dangerous either, if you use protection, stay in a monogamous relationship, or are a lesbian (who, btw, have the lowest rates of STDs). And really, those first two things can be said for straight people too - so it's a moot point. Of course there are some added risks, which I don't need to elaborate on here at the risk of giving TMI. But risky sexual behavior is always a dangerous practice, no matter which gender you are sleeping with.
Btw, I think the earlier comparison to giving a drunk their car keys is very unfair, since that IS inherently dangerous. No drunks should be driving, as it can always lead to disaster... but as I said above, you can be gay in a safe & healthy manner. And actually, when I think about the people I know, the only ones who've had STDs are 100% straight.
You know, I really mean no offense when I say this....and it's certainly not meant to be a flame....but I have no need to talk to Hoosier about this. I don't answer to Hoosier. Hoosier doesn't have any answers for me. I could ask him what his personal story is, but it wouldn't really matter.
As I said, there is nothing anyone could say about this subject that I haven't already heard and considered.
I understand. I said it only from the perspective of times in my life when I have faced life altering, faith testing situations, that it has always helped to have someone who has actually been through similar (if not the same) situations to vent to, discuss, learn from, what have you. As I said before, I pray that you find what you are looking for.
I understand. I said it only from the perspective of times in my life when I have faced life altering, faith testing situations, that it has always helped to have someone who has actually been through similar (if not the same) situations to vent to, discuss, learn from, what have you. As I said before, I pray that you find what you are looking for.
What if he's looking to be left alone about his sexuality, and to live in peace? I don't mean to sound snarky, it's a serious question!
Thanks brittz for what you said regarding me. I know WCRob doesn't want to talk to me about this topic and I totally respect that. I'm putting it out there that anyone can always send me a private message about this topic. As many of you have seen I am very transparent about who I am. I'm not gonna argue with anyone on this topic because I know how emotional this topic is...especially for those of us that are gay, or have been gay.
And Gizmo I think we should change your username to Ms. Snarky! You are the one person I've seen who says "I'm not trying to be snarky, but...." I always laugh when I read that because I don't even have to read the member's name...I know it's you!! Plus I have always thought snarky was just a funny word. Snarky, snarky bo barkie!
And Gizmo I think we should change your username to Ms. Snarky! You are the one person I've seen who says "I'm not trying to be snarky, but...." I always laugh when I read that because I don't even have to read the member's name...I know it's you!! Plus I have always thought snarky was just a funny word. Snarky, snarky bo barkie!
LMAO... yeah, I guess I do over-use that word, but it's such a good one!! Somehow it always fits perfectly, and I really do mean it when I say "not trying to be snarky."
Oh, but the funny thing is that I hardly ever use it in "real life" - for some reason it's strictly my online catch-phrase.
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Feel free to respond, as I love discussing human love, desire, and sexuality and pondering what makes us "us" when it comes to attraction.
You are the one person I've seen who says "I'm not trying to be snarky, but...." I always laugh when I read that because I don't even have to read the member's name...I know it's you!! 
