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Oh, I forgot to mention: When he arrived yesterday, the first thing he said was, "Why don't you go out to the highway and see if you can find the part that fell off?"
I think my spouse complained about that ONCE (~40 yrs
We all go though challenges and trials, it sharpens us up, and also knocks the chips off our shoulders.
I have come to expect this drama from some posters, that's fine... just makes the rest of us more grateful for what we have, and even for what we don't have! (Someone to constantly toss under the bus) Reminds me of a few bosses I have had. + my inlaws. (Fight / argue all the time, for fun I guess... 60+ yrs of it).
Very glad for what I have! in the form of a non-contentious home relationship, or desire to degrade each other
Realy now. Seems rather judgmental to me. Some of us saw those couple of qualifiers you put in there.
As for your spouse, perhaps she learned not to.... not worth it.
Those of us who've always had more challenges, especially the ones through no fault of our own, get picked on like we're inferior or lack judgment when a lot of life is simply the luck of the draw.
I share my negative experiences with others on here in order to help others since a lot of people haven't been through the harrowing s--t I've been through. When I see people on here about to make the same mistakes I made or get duped like I did (another thread) I want to help, not turn away - or worse, judge and then turn away.
Those of us who've always had more challenges, especially the ones through no fault of our own, get picked on like we're inferior or lack judgment when a lot of life is simply the luck of the draw.
True dat. In my early twenties I made the mistake of falling in love with a man who was both brainy -- which to me is like catnip to a cat -- and handsome. I knew nothing about his dysfunctional parents or his warped upbringing.
Quote:
I share my negative experiences with others on here in order to help others since a lot of people haven't been through the harrowing s--t I've been through. When I see people on here about to make the same mistakes I made or get duped like I did (another thread) I want to help, not turn away - or worse, judge and then turn away.
In post #1, OP refers to 'stbx's 21 year old car' - stbx means 'soon to be ex'
The marriage has been in the process of being dissolved (and separated) a number of times over years - and then reconciliations occurred and occur in the past.
In answer to your observations above, you'll find that Retirement forum posters are extremely - and that means extremely - loyal to long term Retirement forum posters, no matter what the long-term posters do in their life. (or believe)
It's just a given to many Retirement forum posters that they will support, compliment effusively, and be loyal to long-term posters, no matter how daft or ill-advised or mentally unstable or having character flaws or mental disorders or low in some attributes (and some shorter term posters too). (not saying this applies to current OP)
It is quite a psychological phenomena to always see this (the extreme loyalty) play out. I attribute a lot of it to that Retirement forum posters are VERY happy and grateful that posters KEEP POSTING, especially long-term posters, so that they have something to read and to respond to on the forum to keep themselves interested, repel boredom, and be involved in.
I thought "stbx" was the type of car involved in all this
In answer to your observations above, you'll find that Retirement forum posters are extremely - and that means extremely - loyal to long term Retirement forum posters, no matter what the long-term posters do in their life. (or believe)
It's just a given to many Retirement forum posters that they will support, compliment effusively, and be loyal to long-term posters, no matter how daft or ill-advised or mentally unstable or having character flaws or mental disorders or low in some attributes (and some shorter term posters too). (not saying this applies to current OP)
It is quite a psychological phenomena to always see this (the extreme loyalty) play out. I attribute a lot of it to that Retirement forum posters are VERY happy and grateful that posters KEEP POSTING, especially long-term posters, so that they have something to read and to respond to on the forum to keep themselves interested, repel boredom, and be involved in.
Including you, matisse?
Some of us on here are a lot more people-oriented and empathic than others.
I don't believe you weren't referring to the OP in the quote above.
Thankfully I was never influenced to change my basic nature by all those corporate jack----s I worked for, for 30+ years.
Won't help you now, but when I retired and moved to the northern Rockies, I knew I'd be doing some traveling and sprung for the AAA Premium. Expensive, but gives something like a 250 mile tow when needed. Thankfully, I haven't needed it yet.
Or, you can add tow coverage to your auto insurance plan, which is what I have.
We are fundamentally incompatible, in pretty much every way I can think of. He doesn't want to see it, because that means he would be alone. I either have to leave, or change myself in ways that are abhorrent to me, thereby regretting spending what's left of my life by keeping him from getting lonely.
{{{hugs backatcha fluffy}}}
This is why so many long-term marriages in later years fail. I left mine in my late 30s because I simply could not stand it anymore (was being cattle-prodded while he was being coached by his disgruntled divorced coworkers). I do know a lot of people who are basically - and I mean very basically -compatible on a day-to-day level but are miserable in their 40+-year marriage.
Honestly, I think asking for the car was an excuse to see me again and worm himself back into my life. I'm starting to think I will never be able to live my life the way I want and need. He thinks he owns me.
Why not? You can make your own decisions as well. Please don't be like my late sister and be trapped for the rest of your life. It's not worth it, believe me.
Honestly, I think asking for the car was an excuse to see me again and worm himself back into my life. I'm starting to think I will never be able to live my life the way I want and need. He thinks he owns me.
And yet YOU called HIM when you needed help.
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(Someone to constantly toss under the bus) Reminds me of a few bosses I have had. + my inlaws. (Fight / argue all the time, for fun I guess... 60+ yrs of it). 
