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If you have an 8-5 with hungry kids, especially as a single parent, you probably don't have the time to prepare scratch meals like this.
My mom did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation
Imagine if you're a single senior without a paid for home in a high property tax state with a $1,200/month SS check and not much in the way of other savings. You're SOL.
Very true.
And even if you have a paid-off home, you're in trouble.
"The Hidden Costs of Homeownership Are Skyrocketing
Rising insurance premiums, property taxes and maintenance costs show little sign of abating"
Darren Gondry has owned his four-bedroom home near a golf course in Louisville, Ky., since 2004. He and his wife, Lori Gondry, paid off their primary mortgage in 2021.
That hasn’t stopped other bills associated with homeownership from piling up. Their home insurance costs have risen 63% in two years. Their property taxes, utility costs and homeowners’ association fees have risen in recent years, too.
“I was so sticker-shocked,” Gondry said of the mounting home-cost increases. “I fear they’re here to stay.”
Property taxes (a form of a wealth tax) keep going up much faster the rate of inflation.
Home-maintenance costs are climbing much faster than the rate of inflation.
Insurance rates are skyrocketing much much faster than the rate of inflation.
Utility bills are up much more than the rate of inflation.
Eh, we've all been there done that. In fact, we still have one in college so I know all about food bills and all the other expenses associated with raising kids.
When it's just my husband and me our grocery run fits into one or two bags each week. We rarely eat out and cook mostly from scratch at home. When our kids come home - oh, goodness - don't even ask me how much I spend at the store. And don't ask me how much it used to cost us to cover teen boys' car insurance, now that's enough to make your eyes glaze over, I get it. Add in the cars when you have 4 drivers in your house....oh, and don't forget the orthodontist!
It's never been easy. We're feeling the pinch now like everyone else is but over the years we've learned to economize and figure things out. You just do.
Back when my husband and I both worked 60 hours a week we cooked all of our meals at home. We very rarely ate out. Now people want to eat out at least 3 times a week - I have never done that in my life and I don't see me doing it. I do my own nails and dye my own hair. My husband works on the cars. We do our own yard and housework. It's the way we've always done things.
^We will have a paid off house in retirement thank goodness!
Also, many middle-aged people end up supporting their kids way beyond when they should, which is going to put them behind the eight-ball as they head toward retirement age.
My girlfriend turns 50 this fall. She's got a good income for the area - about $85k. I make about the same. Her adult children, 24 and 20, live at home, along with her daughter's boyfriend, who is 21.
Her daughter's boyfriend and son both have CDLs and work for a power company. I think the boyfriend makes about $20/hr.. Her son her makes about $30/hr, but gets some overtime, and filed on about $70k income last year. Her son's dad is a foreman at the same company, and got them both on. Her ex-husband made about $130k last year. The ex really doesn't contribute anything toward the kids now.
Keep in mind these guys are young. Her daughter's boyfriend dropped out of high school, and barely got a GED. The 24 year old son is dead broke, all the time. He pays just $50/week for the household expenses. He's around 400 lbs. and he eats more than that in just groceries alone. Her grocery bill is about $1,000/month. His truck payment, on a 2014 model, is about $600/month. That truck mostly sits in the driveway all week. Big trailer for the truck. He has a paid-for car that he drives to work. He's got a side-by-side that he keeps at a family property three hours away. Payment on that is $300/month. Tons of dining out bills. He'll drop hundreds of dollars at a bar or club buying drinks for women he never gets.
My girlfriend always goes on about how high the cost of living is, etc. If her son didn't have the car payment, ATV payment, and the big discretionary spending, he'd be able to afford his own place.
Her daughter is graduating from a vocational program this summer. Hopefully she'll get a job and move in somewhere with her boyfriend. She has about $50,000 in the bank from a legal settlement from a wreck she was injured in. The two of them should be fine.
The situation with her kids is to the point that it's really straining our relationship. We've been together for three years and live 88 miles away. She wants me to move in, but there's no way I'm living there with three other adults. At 24 making the kind of money he makes, he can afford his own housing. I now work for the county government near where she lives. I want to move closer, but it's an expensive market. I want to move to Greenville, SC - about an hour and a half going the other way, but she's giving me hell on it. If I stay in TN, but move closer to her, then we bust up, I'm stuck living in this area I dislike. If I move to SC, I'll likely be happier with where I live, but who knows how she'll take it. My parents are also wanting to sell out of this place and have been looking at SC, so there's that to consider too.
If her son got on his own, daughter and boyfriend moved in together and have their own place, I'd probably move in with her. We'd probably be able to save another $2,000-$3,000/month. That would go a big way in shoring up savings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by moguldreamer
My mom did.
Very true.
And even if you have a paid-off home, you're in trouble.
"The Hidden Costs of Homeownership Are Skyrocketing
Rising insurance premiums, property taxes and maintenance costs show little sign of abating"
Darren Gondry has owned his four-bedroom home near a golf course in Louisville, Ky., since 2004. He and his wife, Lori Gondry, paid off their primary mortgage in 2021.
That hasn’t stopped other bills associated with homeownership from piling up. Their home insurance costs have risen 63% in two years. Their property taxes, utility costs and homeowners’ association fees have risen in recent years, too.
“I was so sticker-shocked,” Gondry said of the mounting home-cost increases. “I fear they’re here to stay.”
Property taxes (a form of a wealth tax) keep going up much faster the rate of inflation.
Home-maintenance costs are climbing much faster than the rate of inflation.
Insurance rates are skyrocketing much much faster than the rate of inflation.
Utility bills are up much more than the rate of inflation.
My home was reassessed this year. Property tax bill doubled. It's not a huge amount, but could definitely be a strain on someone lower income. My income certainly hasn't gone up anything like that.
Also, many middle-aged people end up supporting their kids way beyond when they should, which is going to put them behind the eight-ball as they head toward retirement age.
My girlfriend turns 50 this fall. She's got a good income for the area - about $85k. I make about the same. Her adult children, 24 and 20, live at home, along with her daughter's boyfriend, who is 21.
Her daughter's boyfriend and son both have CDLs and work for a power company. I think the boyfriend makes about $20/hr.. Her son her makes about $30/hr, but gets some overtime, and filed on about $70k income last year. Her son's dad is a foreman at the same company, and got them both on. Her ex-husband made about $130k last year. The ex really doesn't contribute anything toward the kids now.
Keep in mind these guys are young. Her daughter's boyfriend dropped out of high school, and barely got a GED. The 24 year old son is dead broke, all the time. He pays just $50/week for the household expenses. He's around 400 lbs. and he eats more than that in just groceries alone. Her grocery bill is about $1,000/month. His truck payment, on a 2014 model, is about $600/month. That truck mostly sits in the driveway all week. Big trailer for the truck. He has a paid-for car that he drives to work. He's got a side-by-side that he keeps at a family property three hours away. Payment on that is $300/month. Tons of dining out bills. He'll drop hundreds of dollars at a bar or club buying drinks for women he never gets.
My girlfriend always goes on about how high the cost of living is, etc. If her son didn't have the car payment, ATV payment, and the big discretionary spending, he'd be able to afford his own place.
Her daughter is graduating from a vocational program this summer. Hopefully she'll get a job and move in somewhere with her boyfriend. She has about $50,000 in the bank from a legal settlement from a wreck she was injured in. The two of them should be fine.
The situation with her kids is to the point that it's really straining our relationship. We've been together for three years and live 88 miles away. She wants me to move in, but there's no way I'm living there with three other adults. At 24 making the kind of money he makes, he can afford his own housing. I now work for the county government near where she lives. I want to move closer, but it's an expensive market. I want to move to Greenville, SC - about an hour and a half going the other way, but she's giving me hell on it. If I stay in TN, but move closer to her, then we bust up, I'm stuck living in this area I dislike. If I move to SC, I'll likely be happier with where I live, but who knows how she'll take it. My parents are also wanting to sell out of this place and have been looking at SC, so there's that to consider too.
If her son got on his own, daughter and boyfriend moved in together and have their own place, I'd probably move in with her. We'd probably be able to save another $2,000-$3,000/month. That would go a big way in shoring up savings.
My home was reassessed this year. Property tax bill doubled. It's not a huge amount, but could definitely be a strain on someone lower income. My income certainly hasn't gone up anything like that.
There's nothing wrong with letting your adult kids live at home while they work hard to build up a nest egg to get out on their own. But I wouldn't be buying all of the groceries for them in a situation like that. There's a difference between helping your kids to launch and enabling them.
My youngest is in college FT, he has a PT job but it's not enough to cover all of his expenses. I suppose he could get a loan and dig himself in deeper each year but that's not the way we roll. My mom used to take me out on an occasional grocery run when I was in college and I've done the same thing for my both of my kids. When they come home of course we cook for them and let them use their rooms for free. They give back in their own ways.
I can't advise you about your girlfriend's situation other than to say once a parent always a parent. Her kids will always be a top priority for her and you've seen the kind of relationship that they have with one another. If that doesn't fly with you it could very well be a deal breaker.
Six years ago my son, his wife, and my grandson who was a freshman in high school moved in with us. They were planning to build a house on the lot next to us that we own. When they lived with us they bought their groceries and contributed in other ways. Life changed, my son ended up taking a job as a fire chief out of the area. My daughter-in-law and grandson ( he was a junior in high school then) stayed with us until he graduated. They moved out.
The next month my daughter, son-in-law, and 2 grandkids moved back from Alaska and in with us. They also buy their groceries and contribute financially. It is almost 2 years since they moved in.
Next year they will buy our house from us. We will move into an apartment. Maybe not right after they buy our house as we are exploring where we want to live.
I definitely wouldn't move in with her NOW, SC. The kids will always be her #1. That's just to be expected. If you move in there while her kids are there, they will see YOU as the "freeloader", not themselves. Do what's best for you. Moving in together should be because you are in love and planning a future life together, not because it will save you money. When you plan a life together, it will have to include her kids in a "getting along with the family" sort of way, but living with an adult son who makes plenty to live on his own but chooses to spend his money on toys while his mom pays to feed him smells like trouble. It will cause friction between you and her son, and she will probably side with her "boy".
SC, I am all for helping adult children if they hit hard times but your girlfriend is harming her son with enabling him to not have to grow up. Moving in would be a disaster.
The bottom line is that most people need to make more money. The cost of living is becoming out of control.
I spent about $200 at Sam's Club today between gas and store purchases. $40 on cat food and litter. $12 for some roast beef for sandwiches. $10 for skirt steak for tonight's tacos. Some frozen ready-to-eat grilled teriyaki chicken breasts if I want a snack. Fabric softener. Raspberries. Mt. Dew. $13 worth of beer. I did buy a pair of $25 sandals I'll make use of hiking and walking outside this summer. $20 or so on gas.
Sure, I guess the Dave Ramsey people would say ditch the cats, eat beans and rice only, no beer, no fabric softener, eat the cheapest canned veggies/fruits you can find, etc., but that's not realistic for most people. My spending today was typical spending on mostly essentials and needed consumables.
I used to go to the same Jersey Mike's sub shop for lunch three or four times a week. I remember the lunch combo being a little under $7 in the late 2000s. That's now about $15.
I used to put a "cap" on a work lunch - sandwich shop type place with water - of about $10. Today, even with water, a sandwich and chip can be $15 alone.
I went to Sam's and Walmart around noon today. I stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings because it was on the way. Ten boneless wings, fries, and a soda were about $16 with tax and tip. That's with the lunch special. If I go to a local sit-down restaurant at lunch, $20 for the meal, soda/tea, and tip is pretty standard now.
I rubbed the skirt steak down in some W sauce, seasoned it up, and juiced half a lime on it. Marinated it in the fridge for an hour before throwing it on the grill. Chopped up some green onions and cilantro, then toasted the tortillas on low heat on the grill. I'm going to grill some sausage on the Traeger for breakfast tomorrow if it's not raining, air fryer grill if it is. Sautéed shrimp and corn on the cob for lunch. I have a couple of large, bone-in pork chops to smoke if I can before Friday night, when my girlfriend gets here.
If you have an 8-5 with hungry kids, especially as a single parent, you probably don't have the time to prepare scratch meals like this. I work from home with a cushy job. Of course my situation doesn't reflect the norm.
Imagine if you're a single senior without a paid for home in a high property tax state with a $1,200/month SS check and not much in the way of other savings. You're SOL.
You went out to lunch 3-4 times a week. Have you added that up per year? 16 at Buffalo Wild Wings because it is on the way? there you have another unaccounted item.
Plenty of couples and single parents raise their kids on good meals and three of them plus snacks per day. It may not be shrimp and raspberries but also not cereal and hot dogs. They make time, prepare, budget and make it happen. Personally I do not see a time factor preparing the quick fixes you are cooking.
There are plenty of services for low income seniors but going into these without specific scenarios and locations is just speculation.
Also, many middle-aged people end up supporting their kids way beyond when they should, which is going to put them behind the eight-ball as they head toward retirement age.
My girlfriend turns 50 this fall. She's got a good income for the area - about $85k. I make about the same. Her adult children, 24 and 20, live at home, along with her daughter's boyfriend, who is 21.
Her daughter's boyfriend and son both have CDLs and work for a power company. I think the boyfriend makes about $20/hr.. Her son her makes about $30/hr, but gets some overtime, and filed on about $70k income last year. Her son's dad is a foreman at the same company, and got them both on. Her ex-husband made about $130k last year. The ex really doesn't contribute anything toward the kids now.
Keep in mind these guys are young. Her daughter's boyfriend dropped out of high school, and barely got a GED. The 24 year old son is dead broke, all the time. He pays just $50/week for the household expenses. He's around 400 lbs. and he eats more than that in just groceries alone. Her grocery bill is about $1,000/month. His truck payment, on a 2014 model, is about $600/month. That truck mostly sits in the driveway all week. Big trailer for the truck. He has a paid-for car that he drives to work. He's got a side-by-side that he keeps at a family property three hours away. Payment on that is $300/month. Tons of dining out bills. He'll drop hundreds of dollars at a bar or club buying drinks for women he never gets.
My girlfriend always goes on about how high the cost of living is, etc. If her son didn't have the car payment, ATV payment, and the big discretionary spending, he'd be able to afford his own place.
Her daughter is graduating from a vocational program this summer. Hopefully she'll get a job and move in somewhere with her boyfriend. She has about $50,000 in the bank from a legal settlement from a wreck she was injured in. The two of them should be fine.
The situation with her kids is to the point that it's really straining our relationship. We've been together for three years and live 88 miles away. She wants me to move in, but there's no way I'm living there with three other adults. At 24 making the kind of money he makes, he can afford his own housing. I now work for the county government near where she lives. I want to move closer, but it's an expensive market. I want to move to Greenville, SC - about an hour and a half going the other way, but she's giving me hell on it. If I stay in TN, but move closer to her, then we bust up, I'm stuck living in this area I dislike. If I move to SC, I'll likely be happier with where I live, but who knows how she'll take it. My parents are also wanting to sell out of this place and have been looking at SC, so there's that to consider too.
If her son got on his own, daughter and boyfriend moved in together and have their own place, I'd probably move in with her. We'd probably be able to save another $2,000-$3,000/month. That would go a big way in shoring up savings.
My home was reassessed this year. Property tax bill doubled. It's not a huge amount, but could definitely be a strain on someone lower income. My income certainly hasn't gone up anything like that.
You posted this in the past. Your GF raised her kids and the situation with ex appears to be that of an ex. Kids are of age.
OP should get into robbing banks. If you are invisible, seems easy to get away with. Just don't pick a bank branch with old people.
Now this is some good, practical advise!
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