"We’re Old, Retired—and Apparently Invisible In recent years, it seems that young people don’t even see us."

[Lodestar]

Maybe it is irrelevance but could it possibly be they've already heard the suggestions and don't like them?

There is an abundance of little luxuries the younger generations have become adjusted to that weren't available to us at their age. While they seem to provide a sense of security and convenience they also add unneeded time to the schedule. Hair, nail and skin appointments, that stop at Starbucks on the way to work, having the car detailed. Scheduled playdates rather than spontaneous drop-ins. Even shopping on-line for just the right item can take longer than just going to the store and buying the brand your Mom and Dad had. That addictive cell phone - the greatest time robber and perfect excuse for not participating in anything that isn't comfortable.

We're seeing a trend toward minimalism that must in part be growing out of the unwanted nuisance of having too many choices and wanting, "having to have" too many things. A curse of our consumer-oriented society.

[kayanne]

I don't think this has happened to me much, but I believe that if bridges are to built across generations, it needs to start with the older reaching out to the younger. We have been their age. We know something about seeing old people, and the complicated emotions involved. I remember, as a young woman, feeling like I probably didn't have much in common with seniors (wrong), they probably weren't interested in talking with me (wrong), and old people were a little frightening in that I didn't want to grasp that I would ever be that old (truth!) It was easier just to ignore them.

Now, as a 60-something, I know the joy and beauty of cross-generational friendships. We have much to learn from each other. We need to listen to each other and show respect. It can start with something as simple as a hello and a friendly smile.

[lottamoxie]

I talk to younger people often. I know things ... like tech, which I still love, keep up on, and use, so I can relate on that level. Plus, anyone with a good sense of humor generally responds well to others who have a good wit, and that isn't about age.

People who don't have social skills, and that too runs across any age, are just not going to be responsive. I don't take it personally, since it's not personal.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Yeah, I do not relate too well to this whole thread. I think maybe you know women get such attention when they are young (13-30) and become relatively invisible (related to the extreme amount of "attention" for which some of us could have lived without in the first place).

So, if you tell me I don't have to deal with all that crxp and a bunch of other crxp as I age out I am not understanding the down side here -- LOL.

[tijlover]

Those that get any number of visitors are those hoping and wishing for a slice of the pie one day.

My elderly parents were lucky to even get visits at Xmas.

[springfieldva]

Originally Posted by Wile E. Coyote

Yeah, I do not relate too well to this whole thread. I think maybe you know women get such attention when they are young (13-30) and become relatively invisible (related to the extreme amount of "attention" for which some of us could have lived without in the first place).

So, if you tell me I don't have to deal with all that crxp and a bunch of other crxp as I age out I am not understanding the down side here -- LOL.

Yeah, I can say that I don't miss that kind of attention at all! It's nice to be able to go out for a walk on a beautiful day knowing that I'm reasonably safe from being leered at or cat called.

As far as being ignored by restaurant or retail staff I haven't really noticed that. There are some stores where helpful employees are hard to find but I don't get the impression that I'm being singled out to be ignored. I'm pretty sure that they are in the habit of ignoring all of the customers and simply don't want to be bothered.

[Teacher Terry]

Being ignored may not be happenings at 55-60 but occurs more frequently as you age so 70-85 can be entirely different.

[Bette]

I really love to be around people, all types, ages - we can all learn from each other.

However, even as a young person, I found I often felt left out. There were times and places I was included and I remember those but I also remember being on the fringe and totally ignored.

It was the vision thing - no one quite knew what to say. I found myself working in background type work because to put me out front and have people say something - well, that would be weird, uncomfortable.

I'm blind in one eye and the vision in the "good" eye is not really good. The blind eye wanders all over the place and sometimes is a different color. It's just a weird eye. When I talk to people, that eye goes all over the place and I can see people looking around to where I am looking and I'm looking right at them.

I ended up in jobs where I was hidden and then as I got to know people, they kind of came around.
It's always been this stigma though.

I've been overshadowed by my sibs all my life. Hopefully, I will find people as we all get older who are not as judgmental - not saying my sibs are at all. Just people have said to me "Gosh, why weren't you a cheerleader? (Yeah, right!)

At different times in my life, for example, my first boyfriend during my junior year in HS. Perfect HS dating situation. One of my classmates came up to me one day "Oh, I'm so glad you and Boyfriend are together - it's so nice to see two people with disabilities find each other!" I'm thinking "What disability does he have?"
(Turns out he only had 3 fingers on 1 hand). Anyway, up to that point, I never knew. But being with him, it brought me some credibility and some doors opened.

When my brother and I started a business (my idea), he was the one who went out and got the accounts; I was the one in the background getting the work done. So, a lot of people never "met" me in person so no judgments.

Now, with so much on-line, it is easier for me and I still work. I'm good on the phone; I have a great voice; I'm a great listener and I make sure they get the results even if it is not what they want. They get an answer.

So, in that way, I don't feel invisible yet but I have felt invisible so much of my life that I really get it.

I think we all need to value each other more and we can all bring value to this life.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by moguldreamer

"We’re Old, Retired—and Apparently Invisible
In recent years, it seems that young people don’t even see us. Are we imagining things?"

The above is the title of a recent first-person article written by a pair of 60-something retirees. They recount stories of being in hostels, in restaurants, at art galleries, volunteer events, etc - and the common thread is that younger adults won't engage - no eye contact, no one looking up, etc.



They continue at another event:



Or at a restaurant, where the server spends his time chatting with and taking drink orders from tables with younger adults, but mostly ignoring the retirees attempt to order drinks, order food, or even get the bill.

Retired. Too old to be relevant. Too old to be seen.

Have you experienced this? Do you sometimes feel invisible?

I have felt it yes, but I consider it a Superpower. I call it "The Cloak of Invisibility". I can walk past those kids manning the ticket stand at the movie theater dragging a cooler and a hot dog cooker, and they won't notice me, LOL. I bring giant tote bags and don't get a second glance. I've gotten pulled over for both speeding and improper passing multiple times in the past couple years (when I got a job with 50 minute commute, most of it on tree-lined 2 lane roads) but when they get to my window they see a kindly-looking little old lady, and they check my credentials, tell me to slow down and be careful, and move on.



So try to look at the positives that come with it. If you were invisible, what would you do? There's a lot of power in it in some ways, at the same time a loss of power in others.

[Wile E. Coyote]

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

Being ignored may not be happenings at 55-60 but occurs more frequently as you age so 70-85 can be entirely different.

Mogul is OP on this thread and he is 69. So, maybe it is 69-85. Do you suddenly get attention at 86-115?