San Antonio Off Topic Thread (Rule: engineer, teenager, science)

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by gwrober

We had an issue similar to this while I was working for the AF...Google was caching websites and for some reason EMAIL TRAFFIC. Huge security issue. They don't do it anymore.


On MySpace, etc: A friend of mine was talking with his then 13-14 yr old daughter about myspace. HER page was great, but it was her friend's page that was dangerous:

- plenty of pics of them in their cheerleading gear (now you know what school they went to)

- her profile listed all of her friend's names and some details, and some class info (now you know her schedule and are familiar with her friends)
- listed her parent's info, jobs, etc (now you can pretend you know her parents)
- and LOTS and LOTS of pics of her and her friends. (now you can pick her, or any of her friends, out of a crowd)

DANGEROUS. Her friend wouldn't change her page, but she did agree to remove the girl's pics because she told her she was uncomfortable with it. Kids just don't realize what danger they're putting themselves into these days, and the sickos are just getting worse and worse.....

On my own Myspace, I don't use an email address that anyone else knows (and certainly not one a prospective employer would know!) and I don't use my last name... and in fact I actually "misspell" my first name for the Myspace page. So a potential employer would have to "stumble" across me and would have to have seen me first to match up my photo.

As for kids, my children have a "password" that they have had memorized since they were little bitty, and this password is something that I would tell any "strange" adult if I ever had to send someone (like a neighbor they didn't know) to pick them up from school or whatever. They still remember it. We've never had to actually use it but I don't think it's a bad idea. No one could ever "pretend to know" me and pretend to be sent by me because if they don't know the password (which is very bizarre) then they would know this person was a *stranger*.

As for the missing girl.... I agree that it was not right to drop her off at a convenience store... at TWELVE especially!

I also remember though how I LIED and lied and lied to my mom. Oh my. When I was 14 I ended up in a car wreck at Canyon Lake, with my 2 best friends... we were all believed to be at the Galaxy theater! My friend's dad had dropped us all off at the theater... and we were out of there within a half hour, and on our way to the lake with "some guys" we met who had a car and money for beer. That sort of thing terrifies me now, as a mom of a teen.

The harder she tightened the leash, the sneakier I got. She tried all kinds of things, evening planting roses and cacti in front of my windows and then nailing the screens shut. Didn't matter. I always found a way. Scary.

[SanAntoQT]

I remember being 10 y/o and taking my 8 y/o sister downtown on the bus and being gone all day long without parental supervision and with no way for my parents to keep in contact. Of course, this was back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. No way that I would have allowed my kids to do the same when they were growing up. Things just got too dangerous. I did, however, drop them off at the mall once in a while.

It's true, Jules...being too overprotective can backfire just as badly as being too lenient.

[sapphire]

I hear you, Jules. I have boys, so I can't even begin to know how I'd act with a girl. I don't want to think I'd be the "here, put this chastity belt on and I'll let you out" kind of mom--my mom wasn't and she is a DEVOUT CATHOLIC. I agree, balance is the key--and it's always easy to point the finger and say, "see, they really screwed up!" but we need to take care of our own houses before we start that nonsense.

My oldest son is 20, almost 21, and he survived--no jail time, no real trouble at all. My 11 year old is on a path to become a responsible, well-behaved adult, too. they aren't perfect, but I'd put 'em up against 99% of the other kids on the planet. We all do the best we can........

And yeah, being overprotective can backfire in a big, bad way.

[jules07]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

I'm totally kidding about that. My hope is that, over the next 10-15 years, I can instill enough in my children that I will be able to trust their decisionmaking ability. But, on the other hand, I will still be as concerned about their safety. I don't know your experience, Jules, but I had a friend who grew up with an over-protective mother. (He still had a 9pm curfew when he came home from college, all the way up to his senior year. ) Not a good situation.

--Dim

Giggle! I figured you were kidding about it! We said it a million times, too! And while we were joking about actually DOING it, our desire was (and still is!) to protect them and somehow help them to have a happy, safe, stable life. I'm sure that's what you desire is, too. It's why we say things like that.

Someday, when I feel like I can rehash it all in my mind, I'll write a blog with all my "experiences". It's just still a little too fresh/raw.

[the_dimwit]

Originally Posted by jules07

And while we were joking about actually DOING it, our desire was (and still is!) to protect them and somehow help them to have a happy, safe, stable life.

The way I see it, if my kids are still talking to me after they graduate high school I must have done something right.

--Dim

[jules07]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

The way I see it, if my kids are still talking to me after they graduate high school I must have done something right.

--Dim

Well, then I'm happy! You'd be amazed at the "intimate" details my 22yod daughter shares with me. But I tell ya, when they're 17..... I've wanted to sell them to the circus!!!!!

[the_dimwit]

lol! Right now, my 4-year old would LOVE that. She's fascinated by the circus, even though she's never been to one. There have been a few times my wife came close, even if she denies it!

--Dim

[Texan in Virginia]

Originally Posted by sapphire

And Lori--we can have a COOKOUT for you......I'm from VA too, so I know how to have a cookout! I never sat on a log and drank Lone Star Light till I moved here, though.....cuz we knows how to party in these parts.

I learned to speak Virginian pretty fast so I think I can learn Texan again. Please be patient with me.

Lori

[PopsGuysRule]

Originally Posted by jules07

Well, then I'm happy! You'd be amazed at the "intimate" details my 22yod daughter shares with me. But I tell ya, when they're 17..... I've wanted to sell them to the circus!!!!!

LOLOLOL... oh, I dont know why, but that statement right there just has me giggling uncontrollably, about wanting to sell your kids to the circus when they were 17..... LOLOLOL....

You all are really really good moms on this board.....
I ADORE kids and always wanted SIX of them.... until I MARRIED someone that appeared to be about five years old on his good days, and decided one overgrown infant is plenty in the household.....

Then, when I divorced him I was TERRIFIED of re-marrying... (my grandmother was married seven times, and I was afraid it ran in the family - true story!!).... but still wanted children....
Oh I had plenty of girlfriends in the same boat and they decided to go ahead and have kids, married or not....
I just felt like kids have it hard enough these days with two loving parents that also love each other.... why start them OFF with less than they really deserve???
I just believe God made men and women separate and apart for more than just procreation and kids growing up need both......
Now, if you're single raising a child PLEASE don't think I'm saying you are doing lesser of a job... I'm not saying that at all.... I've seen awesome single moms AND Dads.....
AND if you're gay and are co-mamas or co-papas to your children, I'm not saying you are doing lesser of a job either.... My niece is a co-mama to that gorgeous little wonderful nephew whose photo I jam in everyone's face these days.... LOLOL.... she and her partner are wonderful people and wonderful parents....
but I was just not able to deliberately CHOOSE to raise a child alone.... just seemed unfair and selfish.....

[mojokitty]

Originally Posted by the_dimwit

Well, maybe I'm not that young...I'm 31. Sometimes I feel MUCH older, and sometimes I feel like I just turned 25.

My daughters are 4 and 1, so I've got a LONG way to go. I hear padded cells have nice air conditioning, though.

--Dim

I feel the same way Dim, I just turned 30 in May! I don't feel it though, I feel like a kid...but then I'm more mature for my age too.