What's life like for a youngish African American male in SFO? (San Francisco: neighborhood, place to live)

[UrbanQuest]

I'm sorry, but this ongoing lovefest of postings is starting to skew reality. I am a bi-racial male and had a girlfriend of Filipina descent. Went to a Philippino restaurant to eat, sat down at a table and there was only one other table occupied; we where ignored for a full 20 minutes before leaving (we had our 4 year old son with us, who kept complaining outloud that he was really hungry). Few days later we are walking down around the Embarcadero center; a hippyish looking guy walked past us and looked at me saying what's up vato, with some young hippish looking white and asians sitting at a table near by began to snicker and laugh at what they saw and when I quickly looked at them, the asian guy gave me a dirty ass look. In military uniform right after 9-11 I went to eat at a Chinese restaurant in the Oakland Hills, the owner guy was very nice to me and sat me down promptly. I then heard his wife chiding him on why he was nice to me and he responded "this is Oakland, there are alot of them here". Driving down along Lake Merritt I noticed to hipster looking guys walking along while I was stuck at a light, a young African American girl was walking ahead of them. One of them responded with "damn look at the ******ass giggle. I went to a playground in Oakland with me 5 year old son and being he has aspergers, he is a little shyer than most kids. He was next in line to go down a slide when a white dad with his son behind my son, he told my son to hurry up, I gave him a dirty look and he grabbed his son and said "these people are always so angry". When I was working at Highland hospital in Oakland, I heard about the Anesthesiology department was to have a new Head who happened to be African American, before he even took the post more than half of the white doctors on the staff left the hospital. Was driving out of a mall in Concord when I young boy about 12 years old was zooming along on his gas scooter and a car was waiting to turn in and the kid when buy and waived thank you to the white guy driving the car. When the kid passed, I heard the guy say, "look at that little ****** go just like a monkey in the circus and the other people in the car started laughing in true KKK fashion. I was literally shocked at what I saw in the Bay Area. I had lived all over the country and was very excited about living there, a city which accepts most. Miami, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, New York/New Jersey and Philadelphia. In the 1 year I experienced the racial vomit which I have described about, have I experienced in all those other places over a 20 year span. For clarification, I am the last person who wants to notice or ponder these type of things. The fact that I have lived all over the country speaks to my willingness to want to experience different experiences and places. The Bay Area hit me like a ton of manure. The truth does hurt..... Sorry

[City Boy]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

I'm sorry, but this ongoing lovefest of postings is starting to skew reality. I am a bi-racial male and had a girlfriend of Filipina descent. Went to a Philippino restaurant to eat, sat down at a table and there was only one other table occupied; we where ignored for a full 20 minutes before leaving (we had our 4 year old son with us, who kept complaining outloud that he was really hungry). Few days later we are walking down around the Embarcadero center; a hippyish looking guy walked past us and looked at me saying what's up vato, with some young hippish looking white and asians sitting at a table near by began to snicker and laugh at what they saw and when I quickly looked at them, the asian guy gave me a dirty ass look. In military uniform right after 9-11 I went to eat at a Chinese restaurant in the Oakland Hills, the owner guy was very nice to me and sat me down promptly. I then heard his wife chiding him on why he was nice to me and he responded "this is Oakland, there are alot of them here". Driving down along Lake Merritt I noticed to hipster looking guys walking along while I was stuck at a light, a young African American girl was walking ahead of them. One of them responded with "damn look at the ******ass giggle. I went to a playground in Oakland with me 5 year old son and being he has aspergers, he is a little shyer than most kids. He was next in line to go down a slide when a white dad with his son behind my son, he told my son to hurry up, I gave him a dirty look and he grabbed his son and said "these people are always so angry". When I was working at Highland hospital in Oakland, I heard about the Anesthesiology department was to have a new Head who happened to be African American, before he even took the post more than half of the white doctors on the staff left the hospital. Was driving out of a mall in Concord when I young boy about 12 years old was zooming along on his gas scooter and a car was waiting to turn in and the kid when buy and waived thank you to the white guy driving the car. When the kid passed, I heard the guy say, "look at that little ****** go just like a monkey in the circus and the other people in the car started laughing in true KKK fashion. I was literally shocked at what I saw in the Bay Area. I had lived all over the country and was very excited about living there, a city which accepts most. Miami, Chicago, San Diego, Seattle, New York/New Jersey and Philadelphia. In the 1 year I experienced the racial vomit which I have described about, have I experienced in all those other places over a 20 year span. For clarification, I am the last person who wants to notice or ponder these type of things. The fact that I have lived all over the country speaks to my willingness to want to experience different experiences and places. The Bay Area hit me like a ton of manure. The truth does hurt..... Sorry

None of that has happened to me or any black person I know and 90% of my friends are black. I don't know whats going on with your situation or why people feel they can walk on you. Your experience does not reflect the majority. That's just you. I wish somebody would be crazy enough to say some of that around me or to me.

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by City Boy

None of that has happened to me or any black person I know and 90% of my friends are black. I don't know whats going on with your situation or why people feel they can walk on you. Your experience does not reflect the majority. That's just you. I wish somebody would be crazy enough to say some of that around me or to me.

Being of mixed race (not seen as black), you'd be surprised at what is said about African Americans behind their backs. I roamed all over the place around the Bay and it happened, that's the way it is. Being from the east coast, I tend to not avert looking at other people around me. I look up and out and could give a damn. On the same token, I also speak out when I experience **** like that and alot of people I met there kept stuff inside. Not me.....

[City Boy]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

Being of mixed race (not seen as black), you'd be surprised at what is said about African Americans behind their backs. I roamed all over the place around the Bay and it happened, that's the way it is. Being from the east coast, I tend to not avert looking at other people around me. I look up and out and could give a damn. On the same token, I also speak out when I experience **** like that and alot of people I met there kept stuff inside. Not me.....

Being Black nothing surprises me. Are you kidding? You expect me to be surprised what is said about blacks after what my parents went through in the south? All ignorant people talk about each other behind each others backs, You'd be surprised what Ignorant Koreans say about Filipinos. Same goes for any ignorant member of any group. Point being. Who cares? There's no laws that prevent you from doing what you want in life. Who cares about some words.

[PeixeGato]

Originally Posted by esemo

PeixeGato, thank you very much for your well-thought out, objective response. I may PM you in the near future to ask you a few more questions about the SF area if that's okay with you. Peace and blessings to you!

No problem.

[PeixeGato]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

For clarification, I am the last person who wants to notice or ponder these type of things.

Sounds like you were looking for something and found it. Sorry to hear that. I, on the other hand, have not had that experience. Growing up in the DC area (yes, it is still the south), my experiences there were much different, and not in a positive way. If I had gotten angry every time I saw a confederate flag somewhere, I'd have spent a lot of time being angry.

We all have different perspectives. To that end, it is perfectly fine for you to state yours. But what isn't fine is to criticize others for not having the same experience that you did or to belittle someone else's experience just because it does not match yours.

Stop looking to notice things and just live life. You'll be much happier for it.

[PeixeGato]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

Being of mixed race (not seen as black)

So what makes you so sure you aren't seen as black? Do you know what people are saying about you behind YOUR back?

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by PeixeGato

So what makes you so sure you aren't seen as black? Do you know what people are saying about you behind YOUR back?

Now you are dictating to me after what you just said in your last post. It is what it is and you can't change it, spin it or bait it. Deal with my post, if you don't like it then go somewhere else.

[Nella925]

Originally Posted by PeixeGato

So what makes you so sure you aren't seen as black? Do you know what people are saying about you behind YOUR back?

I must agree with this. If they are saying things to you because you are half black, it is obvious those individuals see you as black as well.

But I have not experienced any type of prejudice like what you have since I was like 8. I'm sorry that happened to you and at the same time I find it odd that it has happened so much. But what can you do? Just keep moving and pity those who can not look past your color.

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by Nella925

I must agree with this. If they are saying things to you because you are half black, it is obvious those individuals see you as black as well.

But I have not experienced any type of prejudice like what you have since I was like 8. I'm sorry that happened to you and at the same time I find it odd that it has happened so much. But what can you do? Just keep moving and pity those who can not look past your color.

I am part black, but not half. I have a hispanic/middle eastern appearance, that's why people seem to think it's o.k. to spew their venom when it comes to blacks especially.