What's life like for a youngish African American male in SFO? (Oakland: college, living in)

[PeixeGato]

Originally Posted by UrbanQuest

Now you are dictating to me after what you just said in your last post. It is what it is and you can't change it, spin it or bait it. Deal with my post, if you don't like it then go somewhere else.

I'm not dictating anything. If you notice, it was a question, not a statement. You are free to have your opinion. I made that clear in another comment as well. I think your responses tell people more about you and the reasons behind your experiences than your story itself. Sorry that things haven't worked out for you here in San Francisco.

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by PeixeGato

I'm not dictating anything. If you notice, it was a question, not a statement. You are free to have your opinion. I made that clear in another comment as well. I think your responses tell people more about you and the reasons behind your experiences than your story itself. Sorry that things haven't worked out for you here in San Francisco.

Don't play semantics with me, it's a waste of time. You again try to spin what I said to bring it back to me (sorry to hurt your feelings or whatever). I am not looking for sympathy, recognition, and definelty not someone like you just a waitin for engagement, or whatever. I stated what I saw and not once did I personally attack those people I mentioned. It happened and if you are (and I'm sure of it) a debate freak, then I will leave it at this; WHAT I SAID IS TRUTH from my perspective, some people here seem to empathize and I appreciate their sincere responses. You are the only one on the attack. So it's you who are the outlier. Don't make of this more than it is. You deserve this: WHAT I SAID IS TRUTH MOSES, NOW GO NOW AND SHAVE AND GET A HAIRCUT, BTW DONT FORGET YOUR GOAT!!!!........... Now look into my eyes

[esemo]

I'm the OP, and I appreciate everyone's perspective. However, there's definitely no need for any of us to get into a harsh debate over this.

[UrbanQuest]

Originally Posted by esemo

I'm the OP, and I appreciate everyone's perspective. However, there's definitely no need for any of us to get into a harsh debate over this.

Apology. The was not appropriate. Appreciate your patience on that other poster and I really behaving in a kindergarten fashion which must be amusingly annoying at best.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by Palmer Eldritch

I would take the responses you get to this question with a grain of salt. That is because you are asking a bunch of white people who do not have an answer to your question but they will give one anyway. Most of them don't even live in SF and some of them have never even been here. They will give you their BS regardless.

Ummmmm... a few AA people have responded, as well as many San Francisco residents. I live in the city, so there's no "BS" being spewed from me. I think you're just expecting BS, without even bothering to read the intelligent responses from posters.

Now everybody please settle down, and stick to answering the OP's question... I haven't reviewed the thread yet, but let's try to get back on track!

[redwoodlvr]

There is actually racism in the Bay Area and in San Francisco. And it's not just directed at black people and it's not perpetrated by only white people which seems to be a general assumption when it comes to racism or discrimination. It's a mixed bag and can impact anyone and everyone, even white people. My white ex husband experienced it and was able to wrap his mind around it because of his relationship with me. I agree with all of the preceding posts because it is your experience. I will share mine. I am a professional black woman who was raised in San Francisco. I have also traveled and lived abroad and in 5 other cities in this country, in the midwest and northeast where I was born.

To discount UrbanQuest's experience is dangerous and it's at the crux of why racism is hard to pin down and explain to someone who has not experienced it or is not of a darker hue or somehow different in general relating to the overall environment. There is no way you would understand unless you are somehow being discriminated against. Racism comes in many forms. It can be subtle, it can be unconscious on the part of the instigator and it can be blatantly obvious. I have encountered aryan nation type folks in SF believe it or not. When I was 14 years old I was called all kinds of derogatory names by a man who was tattooed up the ying yang with KKK and swastikas while I was riding MUNI to school. I have been called n***** b**** from grown white men shouting from a car while I walking to the store in my pleasant Sunset district neighborhood. Okay, so there are racists here. They may be few and far between but they exist. On another level you have people who have migrated here from other parts of the country where they have limited or zero contact with people of color or those who speak a second language and have differing customs. I have experienced their ignorant wrath in professional circles. And usually it's political. I cannot explain how I know this because you would have to be of color to get it or at least have a lot experience and shared conversations with people who have experienced it. Sure there are probably people who just don't like each other, but when you've experienced racism or discrimination you just know.

On the otherhand, I agree San Francisco is a beautiful city and I love it. I absolutely adore it and I'm proud I grew up here. It's one of a kind and I have friends of all colors, cultures, races etc. I speak 4 languages because of my exposure as a child to many different cultures. I love the people, I love the diversity and I love the character that makes up this city. The true pioneering and open minded spirit of the city seems to sustain itself and it's probably inherent thank God. As a black person I've thrived and I have not experienced consistent blatant racism here, but it does exist and that's the point I wanted to make. I agree that most people are focused on the character of the person in San Francisco and it's a beautiful place to live for all, but keep an open mind that everyone has varying experiences. I have no doubt Urban experienced what he experienced as do many others. And I have no doubt there are other people who have experienced the opposite. To the OP, move here - you will love San Francisco and you will do well - especially on a professional level there are many opportunities. My comments are just my opinion and based on my personal experience.

[redwoodlvr]

Originally Posted by gizmo980

Ummmmm... a few AA people have responded, as well as many San Francisco residents. I live in the city, so there's no "BS" being spewed from me. I think you're just expecting BS, without even bothering to read the intelligent responses from posters.

Now everybody please settle down, and stick to answering the OP's question... I haven't reviewed the thread yet, but let's try to get back on track!

I think the poster who was talking about BS was just reacting from an emotional space because racism is still a sensitive topic and we all have differing opinions as to whether it exists in the SF Bay Area or not. Especially when it comes to SF where there is a continuing decline in the professional/middle/upper class black resident population. I'm not attempting to speak for the poster or make assumptions, but there is a sense of keeping it real and s/he probably just wanted the OP to hear it. It's hard to believe that any form of discrimination exists in SF because of the overall vibe and culture. I think s/he had a point, just perhaps it didn't come across well in grouping everyone together by saying their responses were BS. I agree this was not necessary.

However, "settling down" is probably not an option when it comes to this topic. As you say, it's probably a good idea to just get back to the original OP's question. Keep in mind though it will probably continue to morph into this arena just based on the fact that ironically SF is so diverse and subsequently you will get many diverse and heated responses. I completely respect moderating must not be easy, but I also think sometimes it can come across as a slap across the hand. When it comes to adults communicating, I wish moderation was not necessary and there wasn't a fear of hearing what people are really feeling and thinking. This is where true healing enters in, especially when it comes to discussions of race and understanding someone else's experience. Emotions are bound to surface. Most diversity training programs understand this principle. I just find it ironic that this site is so heavily moderated and this is not picking on you Gizmo at all. I think you're very cool and you're just doing your job. But when it comes to some of the discussions I just wish we could let them ride out and see what people have to say. I can personally handle listening to other's viewpoints even when I disagree with them or they may hit a nerve or even when someone may appear to attack me. Perhaps there are certain liabilities in letting people speak their minds on this site. I don't know. Just my opinion once again.

Peace,
Crystal

[gizmo980]

Your opinions are extremely valid, redwoodlvr, and duly noted. I agree that it would be nice to let the conversation ride itself out, and I generally try to do that... but it becomes a problem when posters are attacking other posters, rather than sticking to the issue. That's all I meant by "get back on track," since it seemed to be heading in the direction of a personal battle. We are always willing to allow heated debates on CD, but only if the participants can refrain from attacking each other. Does that make sense?

And in response to your post, I know that racism does exist here, as it unfortunately does everywhere. I work in the East Bay, where I manage a library, and even we have a resident Neo-Nazi... who knows I'm Jewish, but still has a MEGA crush on me. Can we say Hitler? (who was in love with a Jewish girl too ) He sometimes forgets he's in the company of a Jewish woman, or doesn't care, and lets the anti-Semitic slurs & comments fly. I honestly don't care, as long as he isn't hurting anyone or harassing my other patrons. We also hear some nasty comments about Black people here, since we sit at the edge of a heavily AA neighborhood - sad. But the good news is that we're fairly harmonious overall, and the race-related ignorance is less prevalent here than many other places... I've lived in 3 other states and numerous cities, and the Bay Area is by far the most racially/socially peaceful. Anyway, I think everyone's comments here are worth listening to, and I will not interfere as long as you're not attacking one another!

[Snooters]

I'm half-black and moving there in a couple months, and you're starting to freak me out.

[Joe Bama!]

Originally Posted by Snooters

I'm half-black and moving there in a couple months, and you're starting to freak me out.

What area?