What's life like for a youngish African American male in SFO? (San Francisco: apartments, limousine)
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Hey, I guess I'm kind of late to this discussion, but I'm going to chime in with my 2c.
I am a native of the bay area (Richmond, to be precise), although I have not lived there for many years. I am a white female.
I think you chiming in is precisely what makes the SF Bay Area what it is and that we listen to each other's perspectives. It's generally difficult to find anyone who fits into a stereotypical mold. I will go even further to say that you are probably more aware of "black issues" than I am growing up in Richmond, CA. I grew up in mostly white suburbs and then I became Chinese when my family moved to the Sunset District of SF when I was a kid. lol. Seriously though I think there is no right or wrong answer, just perspectives and your points are valid. I'm glad you chimed in and I for one appreciate your comments.
It's like you said man, I never wanted to SEE anything either, that is what kept me here 11 damn years; hoping for things to change, but they won't. It is just the way it is out here. Bruh, I am actually glad you told the truth about things, because I was looking for an answer from ANY black man who lived here and relocated somewhere else. I was beginning to think that I was imagining things, but I knew that SOMETHING had to be terribly wrong with the way I was having these AWFUL encounters with these other groups of people here; and the experiences with black women are just icing on the cake. The only black women that I met that were cool were transplants; not the Cali Natives.
I was losing hope that there was anywhere else better to go; since the Bay is touted as the most liberal place in America. I was like damn, if this is as good as it gets, then my black ass is in deep s**t.
I wouldn't be surprised that California has a black male population at all in the future. Hell, I don't even think black women out here really give a damn; because the bulk of them don't even like black men anyway. They can say what they want, but I am going off of experience. The older black women are cool, it is the black women in my current generation, and the ones after me, that seem to have the problem.
I was angry that I could be in one of the most beautiful places in the nation and go through mess like this. I was in stark disbelief for a very long time. I drove all the way across country to live here. When I first came here, I was a straight A-student; and as I started going through more and more crap, I started to lose my drive more and more. I don't feel a sense of belonging here at all; only like I am drifting through.
What also bothers me is this constant competition out here to keep blacks out here at the bottom that you deal with all the time. People who are so insecure that you may have done better than them they will damn near open your book bag at school to check your grades. Constantly asking you what you got on your tests. Man, I am just sick of these mofos. They look for any reason possible to look down on you out here. If they do better than you in ANY way, you get looked down; irregardless of what you are going through. People don't really see your strength; and you need plenty of it to live out here; I will tell you that s**t.
Like I said, what you have said is 100% true; and other black men who are thinking about coming here need to know what to expect. As I said BEFORE, black women will have a much, much, easier time here; simply for the fact that they are treated like HUMAN beings. I am not saying that they don't go through ****, but nowhere near the level that black men do out here. It's not even close.
Anyway, this is my last post on the subject, I had to back you up bruh, because it was making me angry the way everybody else was trying to downplay the racism in the Bay Area.
My word out there to all the black men: if you come out here, you better know what in the hell to expect; I am just telling you. This place will literally destroy your damn soul after awhile. You may not see it at first, but eventually, YOU WILL.
Later,
Oh man I've had too much time to think about this and some things have occurred to me that I didn't think of before, particularly related to the older black men in my family who didn't have it any easier, but are grounded, centered, loving, entrepreneurial, service giving people. I've never heard them complain and I say this genuinely.
Hey, I know this is your experience but I am curious if you have also spoken with native born bay area black men? I know they have struggled too, but the examples that I see with my friends and family all over the country and here are not the same as yours. Yes they have been discriminated against, but they didn't let it deter them and they got their educations and their generally successful careers and lives. They made it happen and they understood they had to fight and deal with a lot of s***. I was raised to believe that I can do anything and it came from my elders. They kept going no matter what and I learned from their example. I can't help but think that the elder black men (and women) in my family had a whole lot of stuff to deal with and VERY limited opportunities to boot. We haven't even got a clue what that feels like - really. If it were up to the more recent generations - if the civil rights movement had been happening now. Well forget it! They had to deal with death threats and everything else and you are complaining because an Asian woman looked at you the wrong way? (I apologize if this wasn't you who said this, but it was the wave length of the previous conversations I was reading above).
And since I'm here again and on the subject I have to add, the black women that you find in the bay area are generally highly educated and aware. They are not going to settle for less and don't make me go there with the statistics. You know what they are. They are not out to diss black men but rather are trying to live their lives. If someone approaches us now and asks us out with respect, we're going to go out. Period. It doesn't matter who the man is -- if he is respectful, kind, educated, caring, responsible....these are the things we are looking for. Black men have dated all kinds of women of every creed, color and race for many years and now BW have to hear them whining about us dating white men and other non-black men now? This is a very hypocritical stance and it's not the media believe me. Call it whatever you want, but it's a reality across the country -- not just in the SF Bay Area.
Man up and stay in the Bay Area. Fight. You sound like you have a lot to contribute. Have you thought whoever 'these people' are that have something against you, well maybe they want you to leave? If you leave, you're just giving them what they want. You have no idea how easy you have it compared to the previous generations. They would've laughed in your face. Focus on the positives - there have to be some buried in there somewhere for you. If you want to live in this beautiful place, live here. No one is stopping you but you in my humble opinion.
Last edited by redwoodlvr; 11-03-2008 at 10:42 AM..
I hate what this thread has become. Maybe it was good that I asked the question, but maybe not???
No it is good you asked. The Bay Area is different than most places with a high Black population in that there are no affluent/upper middle class black communities/neighborhoods like many other places eg. Atlanta, D.C, etc. The better off Black population are spread out and not concentrated in certain neighborhoods.
The large black neighborhoods in the Bay Area are lower income which produce many of the stereotypes that come with a particular class. Many of the immigrants who do not have contact with blacks only interact with the ones who are of a particular class. This re-enforces the negative stereotypes of us portrayed by the media which may confirm their prejudice.
[/quote]The large black neighborhoods in the Bay Area are lower income which produce many of the stereotypes that come with a particular class. Many of the immigrants who do not have contact with blacks only interact with the ones who are of a particular class. This re-enforces the negative stereotypes of us portrayed by the media which may confirm their prejudice.[/quote]
I wish that where true. I drove a nice car, lived in Montclair, spoke in mainstream english mostly, have light skinned (Puerto Rican/Middle Eastern) looks and I am thin and slightly above average in looks. A few times I would meet someone who thought I was Filipino, Latino etc. and when they found out I was part black (about 40%) it was like a dramatic comedy, the way they flipped. Sad stuff Bay Area, you have the scenic beauty and audacious history of the 60's on your side, otherwise your one big multicultural red neck paradise. Black men should wear only one shirt there everyday. One with a big middle finger on it, because only a few of the people who see it will actually be unfairly targeted and insulted. It is what it is, wish it weren't true. (And it isn't in about 75% of the country).
I hate what this thread has become. Maybe it was good that I asked the question, but maybe not???
I must admit the thread has gotten a little heated, but so what, no one can't beat anyone up through a computer. You are free to ask whatever questions you want. Just keep in mind that everyone's experience will be what they make it. There are a lot of responses on here but they were from a handful of people. That are tons of people in the Bay, if you ask this question in a different setting you would have gotten a different response.
If you are interested in moving to the Bay and you can afford to live there, then go for it!
The large black neighborhoods in the Bay Area are lower income which produce many of the stereotypes that come with a particular class. Many of the immigrants who do not have contact with blacks only interact with the ones who are of a particular class. This re-enforces the negative stereotypes of us portrayed by the media which may confirm their prejudice.[/quote]
I wish that where true. I drove a nice car, lived in Montclair, spoke in mainstream english mostly, have light skinned (Puerto Rican/Middle Eastern) looks and I am thin and slightly above average in looks. A few times I would meet someone who thought I was Filipino, Latino etc. and when they found out I was part black (about 40%) it was like a dramatic comedy, the way they flipped. Sad stuff Bay Area, you have the scenic beauty and audacious history of the 60's on your side, otherwise your one big multicultural red neck paradise. Black men should wear only one shirt there everyday. One with a big middle finger on it, because only a few of the people who see it will actually be unfairly targeted and insulted. It is what it is, wish it weren't true. (And it isn't in about 75% of the country).[/quote]
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Your situation I'd have to say is unique. I'm a light skinned black male who's both parents are black and nobody has boldly insulted me racially to my face. I have gotten the "Are you mixed" questions but when I say both my parents are Black and why does it matter if I'm mixed? Nobody goes into it any further. There is subtle racism in certain situations but that goes for anywhere in America. It's unavoidable. There is no racial utopia. I don't know what to say about your situation other than it is out of the norm.
Wow, I've never heard of such negative experiences, and I hang out with people of ALL races... and I date primarily Black & Latino men, FYI, as do my roommates (both of whom are multi-ethnic themselves). So obviously we're not turned off to the idea! Sorry you haven't been happy here, but like City Boy said, I don't think that is the norm.
I just don't understand it. No, what I think it is, is that you all are desensitized to it because you are Cali natives. It's like somebody like you going to VA and dealing with the flavor of racism back there. I would probably adjust to it rather quickly because I am originally FROM there; while it would drive you crazy. I find it amazing that you can't see how people act out here. It's too comical and crazy NOT to see. However, it's understandable if you grew up with your own circle of friends and networks already in place. People out here in California roll in cliques anyway; and they are resistant to letting anybody new inside. A person from outside of Cali will something totally different.
Black people OUTSIDE of CALI, can see it very well. That is why we are trying to WARN them about the place. I talked to Cat about how California was; and he told me to basically stay the hell away from the locals. You all fit the description of a native Californian perfectly. You all try to treat racism as if it doesn't exist out here.
I know me and UrbanQuest ain't just imagining things; because I don't even know the man and his experiences mimic mine to a tee.
Later,
I'm Originally from Atlanta, My mother and father both from Miami, I was born in SF raised in ATL until 10th grade. The racism in Miami from the white Cubans makes the Bay Area seem like paradise. Atlanta has area's that are heavily racist with OLD money racists. Real racism, none of that cosmopolitan prejudice idiot racism that has no pull. Deep rooted old boy network racism that can prevent you from getting work. Montclair? Man go to Buckhead in Atlanta, you'll really feel it.
I find this really strange being that I've never heard anybody go off on the racism here like you two have and most of my friends are blacks from all socio economic back grounds raised in the Bay and have lived all over. It's usually the opposite. People fleeing other parts of the country to come out here.
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You are free to ask whatever questions you want. Just keep in mind that everyone's experience will be what they make it. There are a lot of responses on here but they were from a handful of people. That are tons of people in the Bay, if you ask this question in a different setting you would have gotten a different response.
Sorry you haven't been happy here, but like City Boy said, I don't think that is the norm.
