New to Seattle, love the place, some bad (Asian) Indian apples (Bellevue: house, school)

[guardianmoon]

Originally Posted by PuzzleFighter

I had to sign up to just vent abit. my whole community have turned into Indian village, and these people would STARE, and when i tried to say hi, they would quickly look away.

and don't even get me started on the way they operate a motor vehicle.

INDIANS, if you are smart enough to get hired into Microsoft or Amazon, is it that hard to observe and learn how to interact the American way?

While I think it's always good for people to be polite and open minded, I don't think insisting that they learn "the American way" is the issue. After all, I've been in plenty of "all American" neighborhoods where I was very unwelcome - I'm sure many other people of color will attest to that.

I'm not convinced that there is an "American way" in this regard, but if there is one it should be to observe and learn the ways of your neighbors, welcome them and then politely move on about your life if it isn't reciprocated.

Keep an open mind and don't let the rudeness and close mindedness of others contribute to your own rudeness and close mindedness.

[RVD90277]

TLDR so I didn't read most of this.

But I will say that I have many Indian friends and in many ways they are like the rest of the Seattle Freeze. You need some kind of "in" with them and they will then be friendly and will greet you and treat you as a friend, etc.

If you see some Indian folks on the street and just say "hello there", they won't usually be happy to respond back. They will just think you're odd and ignore you (or they'll think you're stephen elop firing them...j/k). If I go a step further, I will generalize and say that many are going to look at you with suspicion wondering why you said "hello there" and what it is you really want, etc. Older folks tend to exhibit this behavior more. For reference, I asked my Indian friends how well their parents get along with their neighbors and almost all of them say "oh, they hate their neighbors", etc.

If you meet an Indian guy at work at a meeting or through other friends, etc. that's your "in" and you'll be fine.

But again, this isn't just Indian folks...it's most folks including Chinese, Korean, Seattleites, etc.

[satchseven]

Originally Posted by vw2005

We are new to Seattle having moved here from the N. VA area. Love the place and the job. However, I have found Asian Indians here very racist and rude. I am black. My wife is from India (east Indian as some folks would say). I hate it when at Bellevue and Redmond scores of Asian Indians stare at us and when we make eye contact and say hello, they will look away. We stay in an apartment where there are many families from India and we have found practically most Asian Indians very unfriendly. No such issues with people from other races or from the Washington area. Come on guys, in today's day and time, is a mixed race couple that rare? By the way, what is it about social skills? Don't people in India say hello? I can't believe one of the big employers here would hire folks without rudimentary social grace.

Overall Seattle is a cool place. Don't want to think iof the winter months

guy you should know a lot of the dark and brown foreigners are some of the most racist jokers. the asians and east indians, sorry if i offend anybody but they see the racial deal in america and do not want to be cool with you .i do not deal with them unless if i have to or they PROVE to ME they are not tripping

[ganand25]

I know this is an old thread but I had to reply to this thread to get the record straight.
I am an Indian living in Seattle and working for one of these big companies and no, I am not a racist for not saying hi to you.
Just because I am now working in USA, I cannot change the way I was brought up for the last 20 years. Its not being racist or mean in India to not say hi when you see another people. For God sake, we have people everywhere, If we decide to say hello, we will be saying hello the whole day .. Joke aside, Indian (or in that way most of the asian culture) is different from western culture.
Rule#1 : Its considered strange in India to say hello to someone you don't know
Rule#2: We are not an extrovert society like here. For us less is more
Please bear with us, we are still the first generation and cannot forget our culture so fast.

[ganand25]

I know this is an old thread but I had to reply to this thread to get the record straight.
I am an Indian living in Seattle and working for one of these big companies and no, I am not a racist for not saying hi to you.

Just because I am now working in USA, I cannot change the way I was brought up for the last 20 years. Its not being racist or mean in India to not say hi when you see another people. For God sake, we have people everywhere, If we decide to say hello, we will be saying hello the whole day .. Joke aside, Indian (or in that way most of the asian culture) is different from western culture.

Rule#1 : Its considered strange in India to say hello to someone you don't know
Rule#2: We are not an extrovert society like here. For us less is more

Please bear with us, we are still the first generation and cannot forget our culture so fast.

[GraceKrispy]

Just because I am now working in USA, I cannot change the way I was brought up for the last 20 years. Its not being racist or mean in India to not say hi when you see another people.

Thanks for that perspective. I live in an apartment complex that is predominantly Indian (I would estimate over 80% at least), and I am not. I rarely hear English spoken in the area (I note that, because I suspect by dress and language, many of them are newer to the US than my family, for example). There is quite the social network of mothers gathered around children playing.

I don't really have a problem with any of that. But it doesn't feel good to smile at neighbors or say hi as I walk past and have them completely look past you or turn away. After months of this, I've given up and just look past as we walk by, but that doesn't feel good to me. I wasn't looking for any conversation, just a friendly acknowledgement. We are, after all, neighbors, and see each other daily. I'm not a big socializer, but it does feel isolating to have so many people in my area friendly and talking with each other, but no one even looking my way, after a year here. I had assumed something like your rule #1, so I appreciate hearing it from you. Who knows, perhaps you are one of my neighbors

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by ganand25

I know this is an old thread but I had to reply to this thread to get the record straight.
I am an Indian living in Seattle and working for one of these big companies and no, I am not a racist for not saying hi to you.
Just because I am now working in USA, I cannot change the way I was brought up for the last 20 years. Its not being racist or mean in India to not say hi when you see another people. For God sake, we have people everywhere, If we decide to say hello, we will be saying hello the whole day .. Joke aside, Indian (or in that way most of the asian culture) is different from western culture.
Rule#1 : Its considered strange in India to say hello to someone you don't know
Rule#2: We are not an extrovert society like here. For us less is more
Please bear with us, we are still the first generation and cannot forget our culture so fast.

Awesome. Thanks for bringing some PERSPECTIVE to this thread, which I did not read in its entirety.

I work with many Indian nationals at Big Software Firm, we all get along great (I'm some big, gruff White American guy) because we are all professionals. Fastest way to win an Indian's respect is to talk-technical and show achievement, and/or have our mutual superior acknowledge clearly my authority from a management perspective on some particular task or program. And the fastest way for an Indian to break the ice is come in wearing orange shoes and start telling jokes to a group of peers, lightening things up a bit. Different cultures, same goals.

I don't think Indian nationals are "unfriendly" if they're not saying "hi" in the street all the time. Last time I was in in India, Chennai and Bangalore, I didn't see a lot of professional types saying "hi howya doing" to 6 million close-and-personal friends in the street, either. But almost everyone I met on a peer-to-peer basis was pleasant to me, the foreigner, and I appreciated that very much. Nor did I abuse the honor.

I have a peer who is a Black woman & claims she's gotten into it a little with some of the Indian nationals we work with. I'm frankly a little suspicious, she may be over-sensitive, and we've talked a lot about it and will continue to do so. I, in turn, must be sensitive to the fact I'm a White male and may be treated a bit differently as-well, thus may not fully understand what is or is not occurring. We all have to be sensitive to perception, but it's a fine line to be "over-sensitive," I think. Hmm.

[Chris Meyers]

Originally Posted by vw2005

We are new to Seattle having moved here from the N. VA area. Love the place and the job. However, I have found Asian Indians here very racist and rude. I am black. My wife is from India (east Indian as some folks would say). I hate it when at Bellevue and Redmond scores of Asian Indians stare at us and when we make eye contact and say hello, they will look away. We stay in an apartment where there are many families from India and we have found practically most Asian Indians very unfriendly. No such issues with people from other races or from the Washington area. Come on guys, in today's day and time, is a mixed race couple that rare? By the way, what is it about social skills? Don't people in India say hello? I can't believe one of the big employers here would hire folks without rudimentary social grace.

Overall Seattle is a cool place. Don't want to think iof the winter months

They're unfriendly because quite frankly you're odd. Plain and simple I dont sugar coat. A black guy with an Indian is not only uncommon its quite frankly not good statuswise in the Indian community. Like I said I speak reality whether or not its PC in your world. If they dont want to talk to you go find people who do. This is America, people dont have to like you or what you stand for. Yet anyway

[CrazyDonkey]

So, is the caste system racist, since skin color (light to dark) is a pretty heavy component in it? I don't think we should necessarily expect people to abandon life-long beliefs, but neither need we approve of beliefs that contradict our own values.

[Chris Meyers]

It really doesn't matter if one perceives it as racist. You can not control how people think or associate with in a free society with individual rights. Nobody has to talk to you, smile at you, or associate with you if they don't want to. Its called LIVE AND LET LIVE. Non Seattlites had best learn this when moving here because it's also part of the Seattle freeze. Yeah people dont just start talking to strangers here. Get over it.