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Folks, please remember that this thread is about Utah Valley, not the Salt Lake Valley.
Thank you. I live in the SLV. I, myself, would never even consider living in the Utah Valley. I have heard people talk, & I was a member of a Utah County Mommies group before I moved to Utah. Once I saw a thread asking for all girls, even my 2yo (I specifically asked age lol) to not wear a 2 piece bathing suit to an event, I knew I could never live there. I totally respect others views on modesty for females (girls/women) , I just didn't like asking for my 2yo to wear a 1 piece bathing suit (I only owned a number of 2 pieces for her at that time) .
Again, I am the most accepting & horn tooter for Utah, as a Non LDS family. =) My hubby plays basketball at our local LDS church, is active in the scouts w/ the church, & I attend many functions (many relief society) for the local LDS church. I love my neighborhood & they love me & know I will never convert.
My kiddos & I (& mostly hubby lol) are very comfortable w/ our bodies & don't think anything of seeing each other nude. That is US. We co-slept up until a few mos ago. lol I finally got my 6 yo girl & 7 yo boy in their own beds. =)
A little insight on me/us. I am a huge advocate of Utah. I love it here. Though, sadly, on my local Mom's group, many of whom do live in the SLV, are not happy here. It makes me sad. I wish I could fix everyone's issues. =) I love it here in Utah. =)
Thank you for starting this thread. I just wish that what your original plan was for this thread would still be the case.
My family and I lived in Utah County for 2 years. We were originally from Oregon and my husband was transfered to Utah. I came into Utah wanting to start anew, but that is not what happened. There were a "few" families on our street that were accepting of us, but the majority wanted nothing to do with us. My daughter who was 4 when we moved there was treated as an outcast, with the exception of again the families on our block, which was only 2 that would let her play with their kids. While living in Oregon I met an amazing friend and after a few years came to find out she was LDS, so I figured there would be no problems moving to Utah, boy was I wrong. I would even call my friend and ask her advise on situations and how or what could I do. After my millionth call she finally said to me, that the non Utah LDS talk about how odd the Utah LDS are. That explained a lot! My husband was eventually transfered to New Mexico and our family was so happy! My daughter made many friends and so did we, so I'm sorry it is a Utah Valley LDS thing. They are very exclusionary and other than a few here and there, if you are not LDS you won't be accepted plain and simple.
I do not want any responses to this post. I have posted on other threads and always feel as if I am having to defend my opinion. Utah is not all puppy dogs and cotton candy no matter how much you pick my post apart. I am entitled to my opinion.
Sorry you had such a negative experience here. =( I enjoy visiting the Utah Valley & hiking there, but I wouldn't live there. But, that is ME. =) Good luck on your upcoming move.
I think anyone who has read my posts over the months concerning Utah will agree that I whine about what I don't like (about Utah) here quite often. But there is a certain point that it just gets ridiculous. And for me to say that, it must be really ridiculous, because I'm generally somewhat negative about Utah in general.
Seriously, if I view everyone in my neighborhood as a coven of witches, then I think the problem is me, not them. Because, statistically, it's nearly impossible for an entire neighborhood (except for me of course) to be stuck up, jerks, cold-shouldered, horrible people, etc. If you are a blue sheep and all the other sheep are orange, is it anyone's fault? Are the orange sheep conspiring against you if you don't seem to "fit in"?
I've lived among, but not "in," the Utah Valley mormon community for a long, long time. I've experienced no rejection, no discrimination, no witch hunts... I guess I just know how to find the sheep that are similar in hue to me. The other sheep... I ignore. They ignore me. That's the way to have happy flocks in Happy Valley. I don't expect everyone in my community to like me. And I'm not offended if they don't. Put simply... I don't care.
've lived among, but not "in," the Utah Valley mormon community for a long, long time. I've experienced no rejection, no discrimination, no witch hunts... I guess I just know how to find the sheep that are similar in hue to me. The other sheep... I ignore. They ignore me. That's the way to have happy flocks in Happy Valley. I don't expect everyone in my community to like me. And I'm not offended if they don't. Put simply... I don't care.
I would say being a Utah native and being LDS that I can be quite defensive of Utah when I hear unjustified criticism of this state or of my religion. That being said, you know where I stand on living in Utah County. I have simply heard too many stories over the years about non-LDS who moved there and hated it. The stories mostly follow a pattern. They tend to be families with small children who experienced a situation where neighbors may have been superficially friendly (smiling and waving), but either consciously or unconsciously communicated to their children that it wasn't alright to play with the new families on the block who were non-members.
If I remember correctly, Chris, you're a single man. I'm not sure you quite understand how important it is for mothers and fathers with children to be accepted into an area and feel like they fit it. I know as a parent that the times my children had difficulty finding friends was very difficult not only for them, but difficult for me as well. Good parents want their children to have friends and find sports and activities that allow their children to socialize with others and learn skills and develop self-confidence. Its an important part of raising children. So, when people tell me they move to a place like Utah County and end up moving again because of unfriendliness or being ignored, I don't discount the seriousness of that at all.
The only problem that I have about those who complain about Utah County is that I think even a modest amount of research (before moving) would have allowed them to realize they were not moving into a community that I would call diverse or tolerant. Utah County is a very LDS, very socially conservative, and very politically conservative community that usually is not seen as very friendly to outsiders. The people there "have what they need" and, generally speaking, are not very interested in what outsiders have to offer. However, in the final analysis, the place "is what it is". Outsiders don't have a right to ask any place they move too, to change to fit their needs.
I wonder why more of these people didn't do their research and try something like moving to Salt Lake County and commuting to work in Utah County. I think if they had done so, their experiences here would have likely been much more positive.
I would say being a Utah native and being LDS that I can be quite defensive of Utah when I hear unjustified criticism of this state or of my religion. That being said, you know where I stand on living in Utah County. I have simply heard too many stories over the years about non-LDS who moved there and hated it. The stories mostly follow a pattern. They tend to be families with small children who experienced a situation where neighbors may have been superficially friendly (smiling and waving), but either consciously or unconsciously communicated to their children that it wasn't alright to play with the new families on the block who were non-members.
If I remember correctly, Chris, you're a single man. I'm not sure you quite understand how important it is for mothers and fathers with children to be accepted into an area and feel like they fit it. I know as a parent that the times my children had difficulty finding friends was very difficult not only for them, but difficult for me as well. Good parents want their children to have friends and find sports and activities that allow their children to socialize with others and learn skills and develop self-confidence. Its an important part of raising children. So, when people tell me they move to a place like Utah County and end up moving again because of unfriendliness or being ignored, I don't discount the seriousness of that at all.
The only problem that I have about those who complain about Utah County is that I think even a modest amount of research (before moving) would have allowed them to realize they were not moving into a community that I would call diverse or tolerant. Utah County is a very LDS, very socially conservative, and very politically conservative community that usually is not seen as very friendly to outsiders. The people there "have what they need" and, generally speaking, are not very interested in what outsiders have to offer. However, in the final analysis, the place "is what it is". Outsiders don't have a right to ask any place they move too, to change to fit their needs.
I wonder why more of these people didn't do their research and try something like moving to Salt Lake County and commuting to work in Utah County. I think if they had done so, their experiences here would have likely been much more positive.
Even though I see most of the complaints on this Utah Valley thread as rather ridiculous, I'll also be the first to admit that Utah Valley is not for everyone. And Utah in general is not for everyone. But that is not something exclusive to Utah. I'd never even consider moving to Miami, for instance. I'd never consider LA. Lot's of places I'd never consider. But that's not the fault of the place or its inhabitants. It's due to my personality, desires, and ideals. I'll agree with you about doing your "homework" before making a move. It's critical. It could be that the very thing which appeals to you about an area comes at too high a price in other respects (according to you and your lifestyle/philosophies).
If it bothers you to see the majority of the community focused primarily and unshakingly on their religion and a more traditional way of life, if you depend on others to provide inner contentment rather that yourself, if you wear your feelings on your shoulders, if you're coming in to "change the world"... Utah Valley is probably not for you. If it bothers you that your children will be in such an environment, Utah Valley is probably not for you.
I've heard many newcomers to Utah Valley say they moved here because it's a safe environment for them and their children. It must work for the tens of thousands who have flooded the area lately and stayed. But for some... you may not like the reason it's so safe here. So as markg91359 implies, you should do your homework before moving here. To me (not a native remember!), most all the complaints on this thread are balderdash. But they may not be balderdash for you...
The only place that was hard for us was in PG and it was a small section of PG, not just the LDS but from the non LDS as well.For the first year I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, it drove me nuts.There were non LDSrs who hated LDSrs and then LDSrs who I think were more shy about befriending you because of what you might think of them being LDS. Just this past friday I was talking to another mom about visiting the local ward, and me being raised Lutheran came up, I told her I was confirmed out of respect for my parents but never whent back becuase of some of the teachings I did not agree with. She automatically thought I ment the LDS,church I said no the Luthran church I was raised in why would I ask about visting the ward if I did not agree with what the belifes are.
I grew up in Utah Valley. My family are generational LDS on both sides. Yes it is hard for most people to accept that you might have a different thought process than them and not like frumpy clothing. Mitigating among one and the same for years can be a comforting bowl of stew. It's sad that instead of learning from and welcoming your views and beliefs as your own,they try to make you conform to theirs because "It's the truth." Oh so sorry now your children will be ostracized for your discretion.Ugh.
I definately know where your coming from. I don't know how Humans will ever welcome an alien race in the future when we can't even accept our own differences. Moderator cut: off topic As far as LDS neighbors not socializing with my family, I'm used to it.Try not only neighbors but the majority of both sides of your family as well.But I will not conform to something I simply no longer believe in just to have family and friends acknowledge I exist.Do you really want all those people in your business?
Who would want to belong to that in the first place? I am not a worker bee. I do not believe you are bashing the LDS faith. People write on this forum to discuss places to live, relocating,etc...The church is Utah. It's the main deal. I don't care what anyone says.This state is controlled by the church therefore at least to an extent, it always has to be an issue when choosing to live in the state.Raising children? Yes Utah is one of the greatest places to live because you can educate them about discrimintaton,hands on.
Have fun with it! Buy the biggest bag of coffee the store offers and 3 cases of beer and be the friendliest,nicest person in the store.(The beer tends to be watery and you will feel bloated.)Buy a huge cross and wear it all the time. It's your life not theirs.Why waste it being miserable? At least before all of it is banned.
Utah is a beautiful state and I know some places that are my faves to visit, but when a 9th grade teacher holds up a picture of two gay men and says,"Class, what's the first word that comes to your mind when you look at this picture?" One kid raises his hand and says "******?"The teacher laughs and says "well I was thinking the same thing." This was my daughters English teacher the second day of school this year...that's when I had had enough of small town Utah.
Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 03-25-2011 at 01:17 PM..
I grew up in Utah Valley. My family are generational LDS on both sides. Yes it is hard for most people to accept that you might have a different thought process than them and not like frumpy clothing. Mitigating among one and the same for years can be a comforting bowl of stew. It's sad that instead of learning from and welcoming your views and beliefs as your own,they try to make you conform to theirs because "It's the truth." Oh so sorry now your children will be ostracized for your discretion.Ugh.
I definately know where your coming from. I don't know how Humans will ever welcome an alien race in the future when we can't even accept our own differences.IModerator cut: off topic As far as LDS neighbors not socializing with my family, I'm used to it.Try not only neighbors but the majority of both sides of your family as well.But I will not conform to something I simply no longer believe in just to have family and friends acknowledge I exist.Do you really want all those people in your business?
Who would want to belong to that in the first place? I am not a worker bee. I do not believe you are bashing the LDS faith. People write on this forum to discuss places to live, relocating,etc...The church is Utah. It's the main deal. I don't care what anyone says.This state is controlled by the church therefore at least to an extent, it always has to be an issue when choosing to live in the state.Raising children? Yes Utah is one of the greatest places to live because you can educate them about discrimintaton,hands on.
Have fun with it! Buy the biggest bag of coffee the store offers and 3 cases of beer and be the friendliest,nicest person in the store.(The beer tends to be watery and you will feel bloated.)Buy a huge cross and wear it all the time. It's your life not theirs.Why waste it being miserable? At least before all of it is banned.
Utah is a beautiful state and I know some places that are my faves to visit, but when a 9th grade teacher holds up a picture of two gay men and says,"Class, what's the first word that comes to your mind when you look at this picture?" One kid raises his hand and says "******?"The teacher laughs and says "well I was thinking the same thing." This was my daughters English teacher the second day of school this year...that's when I had had enough of small town Utah.
You know, I've never understood this type of mindset. The LDS church has a set of rules. You either accept them or you don't. There is nobody forcing you to be a member of the LDS church, or any church for that matter. Last I checked, a religion based on belief in God is, by definition, not a democracy. You either accept it or you don't. If you accept it, you are a believer and member in good standing. If you do not accept it, you are not a believer and have no reason to be a member. Easy.
I'm surrounded by mormons. I don't expect them to accept my beliefs or be my best friends. And I'm certainly not going to condemn them for it from my glass house. It's a free country. There are plenty of people I don't associate with for whatever reason, as well.
As for your example, let me ask you this: if the teacher would have held up a picture of two toothless, shabby old hillbilly types with big, dirty old cowboy hats, standing next to an old pickup truck with a gun rack in the back window, and one of the students had answered "rednecks," and the teacher had laughed and had responded, "that right there is what I was a thinkin'," would that have offended you as well?
Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 03-25-2011 at 01:18 PM..
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I am a huge advocate of Utah. I love it here. Though, sadly, on my local Mom's group, many of whom do live in the SLV, are not happy here. It makes me sad. I wish I could fix everyone's issues. =) I love it here in Utah. =)
