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Lest people think I'm being negative, I just don't want OP to be distracted by suggestions that won't help her until she is able to function as a socially appropriate, professional adult. This is what OP wants to hear, that she can solver her problems without having to dive off the cliff into scary and uncomfortable and hard self-work, she wants to hear that all she needs is another cert, or a better resume, or a wider range. That is the kind of suggestion she is comfortable with (and why she seldom mentions the ASD when she starts new threads or mentions it as an afterthought instead of the main issue), but won't help her in the slightest at this point. I do think a different career is going to be needed, but that is for later, after OP learns how to manage her disorder through medication and ASD-specific counseling/life skills help and vocational testing.
The more I hear things like this, the more I honestly think I might just be living in the wrong area. Had you not mentioned it, I wouldn't have even known such services existed. I guess I'm also a little afraid to pursue help, because I'm not exactly sure I "deserve" help, either. I mean if you didn't have a background in this disorder, you probably wouldn't know there was anything wrong from meeting me. I was never diagnosed as a child; I was just labeled as "rebellious,""weird," and later "shy." My problems are only apparent usually after you've been around me for a little while. I've been labeled as various things by the psychiatrists I have seen, from mildly depressed to psychotic. (I guess it might be important to mention that most of the people who misdiagnosed me and basically made me afraid to seek help were male.)
Yeah, the more I look at this, the more it seems like I'm still just trying to overcompensate. A child with dyslexia would make excuses not to have to read or write, and I've been making excuses all of my life not to interact socially or learn social rules, because I guess I've just associated them with really negative things. I know that the world's not fair, and even though I sometimes struggle to make sense of other people's emotions, I feel like I can empathize with situations like that. Ironically, for most people with learning disabilities, social situations are comfortable, natural, and easily manipulated. It's the exact opposite for me. When my students throw tantrums, they might as well be explaining complex math problems; both are going to leave me bewildered and at a loss for what to do.
Yeah, but I need a third one, preferably full-time. I know that's not possible with my current schedule without doing some serious damage to my body and mind, though.
See, though, aides have almost the same schedule as teachers. They're required to be at the school when the kids are. Now, if I had a degree in Occupational or Physical Therapy, that would be different. I don't even have an LVN license, though. I could probably get one, but the hours conflict with my work hours. I seriously should have looked into that when I was an unemployed college student living off of the government...the financial aid office made me think that you couldn't attend two programs at different schools, though.
Stop! You need to spend time getting help not another job and not church every day. And drop your math class, it is a waste of the few hours you have that should be devoted to life skills. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE HIRED AS ANYTHING UNTIL YOU DO THIS, ANOTHER LICENSE OR CERT IS NOT GOING TO HELP.
In interviews, I will say "it was nice to meet you" because I know that's what I have to do but I hate it because it feels so fake and they must know I don't really mean it so why am I expected to say it? I hate that I have to try to play their game when I'm so bad at it.
I had this with my coach. I tried to give her a chance because I really needed the help but her vibe (I don't know if it was me being observant or it was just an unexplained energy but whatever it was) was way off. I called her and the lady higher up on it. I said you all don't care about me you're just doing this to get your check from social services. They continued to try and tell me that they really do care not only that they tried to get me to believe they UNDERSTOOD. I mean I guess if you had a client and said you're right I don't care about you to their face it would be a bad situation but you don't have to lie to me and say you understood when you didn't because I get that it is hard to understand. Maybe actually try listening to my point of view and here's the thing: why are people like that even hired to do those jobs in the first place if they don't care? They need to evaluate themselves if a client calls them out.
Yeah I know it's pretty different but I'm saying in general that filters are unnecessary. They don't give honest feedback and even when they do they don't say anything when I explain why it's not a problem.
That's what I had when the one interviewer told me I stuttered and that he'd need to put me as cashier. I said that's okay I'll take anything you have and I believe I said something about how I'd be different on the job (I don't remember exactly after I said that's okay but I know I said something). I figured it wasn't sinking in to him since he got quiet so to protect myself I disclosed but then I didn't get hired.
I know and that's exactly what makes me mad.
People are too busy making money to care genuinely about people outside of their immediate circle. That's unfortunate, and, in my opinion, foolish, but the most ironic thing is, even though people play this joke on each other every day, no one ever really gets mad. They just accept that is "the way things are" and go on with life. Personally, I don't understand why there isn't rioting in the streets with all of the corruption that goes on in every day interactions, especially business. I guess who ever is doing our mass mind control has trained us well, or maybe, as I've been told frequently, we're the ones who aren't quite right. Personally, I think the world would be a better place if there were many more people like us.
The more I hear things like this, the more I honestly think I might just be living in the wrong area. Had you not mentioned it, I wouldn't have even known such services existed. I guess I'm also a little afraid to pursue help, because I'm not exactly sure I "deserve" help, either. I mean if you didn't have a background in this disorder, you probably wouldn't know there was anything wrong from meeting me. I was never diagnosed as a child; I was just labeled as "rebellious,""weird," and later "shy." My problems are only apparent usually after you've been around me for a little while. I've been labeled as various things by the psychiatrists I have seen, from mildly depressed to psychotic. (I guess it might be important to mention that most of the people who misdiagnosed me and basically made me afraid to seek help were male.)
Yeah, the more I look at this, the more it seems like I'm still just trying to overcompensate. A child with dyslexia would make excuses not to have to read or write, and I've been making excuses all of my life not to interact socially or learn social rules, because I guess I've just associated them with really negative things. I know that the world's not fair, and even though I sometimes struggle to make sense of other people's emotions, I feel like I can empathize with situations like that. Ironically, for most people with learning disabilities, social situations are comfortable, natural, and easily manipulated. It's the exact opposite for me. When my students throw tantrums, they might as well be explaining complex math problems; both are going to leave me bewildered and at a loss for what to do.
From what you have posted I don't think the above is accurate. Your hygiene issues alone are a tip off. I think you are fooling yourself about how people perceive you.
You have been given excellent advice repeatedly on this thread and others. You need help from someone who is experienced in working with autistic adults to help you navigate everyday life. Until you get that help I can say with certainty things won't change for you. I really hope you listen to what ocnjgirl and germaine are telling you. You have been posting the same thing for years. I'll bet if you follow their advice, things will be much better for you.
Yeah, but I need a third one, preferably full-time. I know that's not possible with my current schedule without doing some serious damage to my body and mind, though.
See, though, aides have almost the same schedule as teachers. They're required to be at the school when the kids are. Now, if I had a degree in Occupational or Physical Therapy, that would be different. I don't even have an LVN license, though. I could probably get one, but the hours conflict with my work hours. I seriously should have looked into that when I was an unemployed college student living off of the government...the financial aid office made me think that you couldn't attend two programs at different schools, though.
Please do not think about getting an OT or PT degree. Having been a special education teacher for 30 plus years, and having a disabled parent and a disabled spouse, I have worked with dozens of OTs and PTs over the years. IMHO, thevast majority of OT and PT positions take an amazing amount of independent skills, self regulating, creativity, organization as well as an ability to build an immediate rapport with a wide variety of people with different needs. These are all areas where you have significant, significant deficits.
Even if you would be accepted into an OT or PT program, which, IMHO, is unlikely. And even if you could manage to pass all of your practicums, which, IMHO, is very, very unlikely. I can not imagine any place that would hire you. A public school? Absolutely not. A hospital? Absolutely not. A private agency? Absolutely not. A skilled nursing facility? Absolutely not. And you would be stuck with even more debt and more frustration
Frankly, if you are even a fraction as disorganized, ill-prepared and disheveled in real life as you appear to be from your posts if you tried to be an OT or PT for my disabled spouse I would not allow you to treat him and I would be contacting your boss immediately to transfer to a different therapist at the very minimum. And, I would probably be trying to get you fired to that you do not hurt anyone.
Don't you realize that in rehab settings it probably will be the OT who is teaching the patient how to regain their life skills? And, often in school settings it is the OT working with the speech therapist and teacher who are designing the schedules, charts & checklists and teaching life skills? How could you possible teach those things when you do not even notice them in your own life.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-11-2016 at 01:54 PM..
It is not your lack of education that keeps you from getting a job. It is your lack of organization. Do not spend another second or another dime on more education. Work on what your real issues are.
You have 200 posts here offering advice. I haven't read anywhere that you are planning to take any of it.
A child with dyslexia would make excuses not to have to read or write
No.
The ones I know did not make excuses or hide behind the fact that they had issues.
They sought out - and got - help. And instead of blaming the dyslexia and wallowing, they rose above, and they read and they write.
Something you are unwilling to do.
The more I hear things like this, the more I honestly think I might just be living in the wrong area. Had you not mentioned it, I wouldn't have even known such services existed. I guess I'm also a little afraid to pursue help, because I'm not exactly sure I "deserve" help, either. I mean if you didn't have a background in this disorder, you probably wouldn't know there was anything wrong from meeting me. I was never diagnosed as a child; I was just labeled as "rebellious,""weird," and later "shy." My problems are only apparent usually after you've been around me for a little while. (snip)
I do not know why you were not diagnosed as a child. While it is true that children who had high functioning autism sometimes slipped though the cracks, even 15 or 20 years ago, it still is puzzling why you were not assessed and diagnosed until much later.
Frankly, I disagree with your assertion that people meeting you do not notice that there is something "wrong" with you. The middle school students that you taught as a sub teacher immediately know that you have problems and I really doubt that most of them had a background in diagnosing adults with ASD.
This forum is going to be negative, and it's going to focus on the negative. I attempted to change the tone, and those posts were more or less ignored. I think the first thing I need to do is stop wasting time on this forum, because most of you just read the negative and outlandish comments and ignore the more sensible ones. I appreciate the advice, but most of you have never met me in person. Everything I told you, at least from my perspective, is true, though, right down to not noticing I had a problem if you met me and weren't familiar with what signs to look for. I know because even though it wasn't the first time I went to the doctor, the first time I was diagnosed with ASD is the time I specifically asked them to test me for ASD. On a good day, I would most likely come off as arrogant, and on a bad day, I would probably come off as absent-minded. If you tried to get to know me the conventional way, though, and spent some time with me, I would probably come off as eccentric, bordering crazy (I suspect I also come off this way on personality test screenings, so that's another reason why it's very hard for me to find a job in the unskilled labor market). Whatever my issues are they have not been significant enough to keep people from hiring me when they needed someone for the position. Now, when they had plenty of qualified applicants, it's true that that's another story, and it is true that they probably wished they hadn't hired me after they found out how disorganized I was. I'll admit that there is something "off" about me, but you would probably mistake it for shyness or lack of self-confidence unless you knew the rest of my strange story.
From the picture I've managed to paint of myself in your minds, though, I'm seeing that there's plenty of room for improvement. I think I've made mistakes that I could, in reality, have prevented myself from making. Again, I appreciate the suggestions. I do plan to implement a few of them and to report back as to whether or not they worked for me.
Please do not think about getting an OT or PT degree.
Wait, no. I was talking about getting an LVN license in that post. I wouldn't want to be an OT or PT, anyway. There's a lot of math for most of the medical professions, and I'm just not great at math. One of my clients was working on a degree in sports medicine and wanted me to proofread a paper; the math just blew my mind. I'm glad I was just helping with English, but that definitely wasn't easy to understand. His native language was Chinese, and he apparently used Google Translate.
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I guess who ever is doing our mass mind control has trained us well, or maybe, as I've been told frequently, we're the ones who aren't quite right. Personally, I think the world would be a better place if there were many more people like us.
