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Oh come on now, KMB. Even if you got on disability, that doesn't exempt you from maintaining basic standards of cleanliness and personal hygiene. You aren't a cute small furry animal living in a den in the hillside; you have an apartment. Even worse, you want to actually move into a bigger apartment and get a roommate. Who on earth do you think is going to want to rent a place with you if you don't have good hygiene, have dirty unwashed clothing about, and stuff laying around so that it looks like an animal lives there? Even with OCD and ASD you can make checklists of the minimum things you need to do.
And if you can't visualize how you should reasonably look and dress, you are certainly computer literate enough to google various hairstyles and fashions that are popular and available. You certainly spend enough time on C-D - put that time to better use improving your personal appearance and your immediate surroundings.
I know I should be able to do that. I have a lot of trouble establishing new routines, though. I usually just go back to my old habits. I think one reason, though, is I frequently don't get enough sleep, and my days are jam-packed with stuff for me to do so that I don't just drift off to la la land.
Maybe some people do. But not everyone. And not those of us here. All of us who've been following you for some time really, badly, want you to succeed. But we can't do it for you.
So, I'll ask this very directly: Have you contacted any of the helping agencies or specialists you've been given by OCN and others? First thing in the morning call one. Set up an appointment. And then come back on here to tell us that you have done it. You need help from an ASD specialist. Heck, I suspect there are enough folks on here who care enough that if someone lived next door, they would drag you to the appointment. But we can't. All we can do is urge you to do so.
I'll let you all know when I do it, but I'm currently seeing a specialist who is a counselor, and, well, she's not a lot of help. I don't think it's her, though; I think it's me.
Well, first of all, move...out of the deep south. That will radically change your mindset. And if you can't, well then your screwed.
I would move, but my main support system is here. It's really hard for people like me to make new friends. I haven't made a new lasting friend around my own age since my last year of middle school.
I guess most of you are right; it's not necessarily my qualifications; it's my problems related to having ASD, mainly the OCD and accompanying anxiety and attention issues. I agree that I need to address these, and my next step, I guess, would be to find a psychiatrist who specializes in treating people with ASD (although the disorder itself can't be medicated, medication could probably alleviate some of the anxiety and attention issues--I'm leery, though, because I once took anti-depressants that just made me overly apathetic towards everything. I don't want to wind up a suicide statistic.)
I don't think people should look to work for life fulfillment. Very few people find that in work. But you can use work to fund life fulfillment for you.
How can you add fun and excitement to your life outside of work?
I find that making sure I am doing what I want outside of work makes work a lot easier.
Well, I've always been advised to find something I love. I guess maybe because I have people in my family who can relate to my issues and know that it's really difficult to focus on a job you don't love. Now, I love the IDEA of teaching kids, but reality is different than the fantasies that filled my head in college. One of the most shocking is the low pay and negative attitudes.
I'll let you all know when I do it, but I'm currently seeing a specialist who is a counselor, and, well, she's not a lot of help. I don't think it's her, though; I think it's me.
She's not an ASD specialist, if she were she'd be doing more than talking. She doesn't even specialize in OCD, which you say is your biggest problem, if all you're doing is talk therapy. OCD needs a behavioral component and any decent therapist understands this. Why are you still seeing her if she doesn't help? Why won't you just call one who actually specializes in what you have? Frankly, I find it so far-fetched and hard to believe that any licensed therapist would use talk therapy to treat severe, debilitating OCD that I don't believe you're actually even seeing anyone.
She's not an ASD specialist, if she were she'd be doing more than talking. Why are you still seeing her if she doesn't help? Why won't you just call one who actually specializes in what you have?
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OCNJ, you have a lot more patience with the OP than I can muster. I really hope she takes your suggestions and recommendations and acts on them, but I honestly don't see it happening.
OCNJ, you have a lot more patience with the OP than I can muster. I really hope she takes your suggestions and recommendations and acts on them, but I honestly don't see it happening.
Yes me neither. I guess it's my own little OCD thing...I vow to stop responding but find myself typing again.
Maybe some people do. But not everyone. And not those of us here. All of us who've been following you for some time really, badly, want you to succeed. But we can't do it for you.
So, I'll ask this very directly: Have you contacted any of the helping agencies or specialists you've been given by OCN and others? First thing in the morning call one. Set up an appointment. And then come back on here to tell us that you have done it. You need help from an ASD specialist. Heck, I suspect there are enough folks on here who care enough that if someone lived next door, they would drag you to the appointment. But we can't. All we can do is urge you to do so.
She's not an ASD specialist, if she were she'd be doing more than talking. She doesn't even specialize in OCD, which you say is your biggest problem, if all you're doing is talk therapy. OCD needs a behavioral component and any decent therapist understands this. Why are you still seeing her if she doesn't help? Why won't you just call one who actually specializes in what you have? Frankly, I find it so far-fetched and hard to believe that any licensed therapist would use talk therapy to treat severe, debilitating OCD that I don't actually believe you're actually even seeing anyone.
I agree. A specialist would be helping you set up lists, schedules, calendars, checklist, charts, etc. to help you be successful.
The specialist would also be confronting some of the things that are holding you back from success. As an example, you mentioned that you "can't do laundry every week". Now that is pretty strange statement. Even if you have to drive to a laundromat, why can't you go every week?
Now, if was some legitimate reason, perhaps, your city has only one laundromat and it is only open every other weekend (but, that is pretty unlikely). The specialist would help you set up ways to work around that, such as buy enough clothes that you can go two weeks between doing the laundry. If that means that you need to buy a dozen more pairs of underpants & five or six more bras than do that. But, it probably would be a lot easier & cheaper to just do laundry once or twice a week.
Earlier in the thread someone mentioned going to Goodwill and buying clothes. I personally know several people who are special education teachers who do that. They were so tired of marker stains & food stains & rips/ tears caused by students on their good work clothes that they just buy nice, used clothes. Frankly, no one would even know unless they told them. Of course, you would need a friend to come along to help you make sure that things match and are nice enough & appropriate for the job.
BTW, you don't have to wear make-up (I haven't for decades), but if you do you need to remember to put it on each day.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-09-2016 at 08:26 AM..
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