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"So, what was I supposed to do? Deliberately get up from my desk, go to another department across the building and start talking last night's football game with a coworker??"
I always figured it was preferable to be IN my workspace where I was either actually working or at least available and easily found if work was needed instead of roaming the halls gossiping or talking nonsense and not where I'm supposed to be.
"So, what was I supposed to do? Deliberately get up from my desk, go to another department across the building and start talking last night's football game with a coworker??"
I always figured it was preferable to be IN my workspace where I was either actually working or at least available and easily found if work was needed instead of roaming the halls gossiping or talking nonsense and not where I'm supposed to be.
I know; crazy talk!
Exactly. Because if I spent too much time 'socializing' my work performance and lack of availability would have been brought up. You can't win!!!!
So, what was I supposed to do? Deliberately get up from my desk, go to another department across the building and start talking last night's football game with a coworker??
You both have to eat lunch, right? Grab lunch with the person once/month.
You both have to eat lunch, right? Grab lunch with the person once/month.
There are a handful of people who I do go lunch with on occasion, but those are people I naturally gravitate towards. Outside of that, the notion of forced social interaction with people whom I have no shared interest or commonalities with is ridiculous.
The review comment has more to do with in-office socialization, anyway. I am typically friendly, handle all internal communication with tact and courtesy, and am always the 'hi how goes it' person if I happen to see you in the hallway or lunchroom. I don't expect others to extend themselves in order to 'force' anything with me, and don't feel I need to do it from my end.
Reply to OP's first post, that's why corporate America sucks. These FORCED gatherings, get-togethers, stupid party games, team builders are idiotic. Whether or not people get along will happen naturally based on their inherent personalities, not whether someone forces it. I would hate the company more if I were forced to do these things.
I am fortunate that in my small company, we are left to work in peace and we don't have these FAKE, artificial, team-building activities.
There are a handful of people who I do go lunch with on occasion, but those are people I naturally gravitate towards. Outside of that, the notion of forced social interaction with people whom I have no shared interest or commonalities with is ridiculous.
The review comment has more to do with in-office socialization, anyway. I am typically friendly, handle all internal communication with tact and courtesy, and am always the 'hi how goes it' person if I happen to see you in the hallway or lunchroom. I don't expect others to extend themselves in order to 'force' anything with me, and don't feel I need to do it from my end.
Setting time aside to get to know people at work who you don't know that well is ridiculous? You specifically asked what you could do to be more social, that's one simple thing.
What do you lose by grabbing lunch with different people every once in a while? You all have to eat sometime anyway.
However, I agree that because it's a) on work time, b) on the boss's dime, and c) apparently now expected and even required of us, I should comply. But I don't have to like it.
When I became a manager I quickly developed a mantra "I don't have to like it, I just have to do it." I just kept repeating that to myself when my boss directed me to do something unpleasant, usually a disciplinary action.
I think this is a function of your workplace changing and you just don't like it. I'm sure you have seen many changes during your tenure.
I was at the same place for 30 years. We did not have this issue but there were plenty of other changes during those 30 years. Some I liked, others I did not.
Setting time aside to get to know people at work who you don't know that well is ridiculous? You specifically asked what you could do to be more social, that's one simple thing.
What do you lose by grabbing lunch with different people every once in a while? You all have to eat sometime anyway.
It was a rhetorical question, I don't 'need' to know what to do to be more social because I'm not at work to BE more social. I am as polite and practice basic decency to people as I reasonably should to coexist in the name of a functioning work environment. I don't need to know people I work with on a personal level through artificial forced socialization. People can and will use your personal business against you, so if you feel the need to 'get to know people', have at it. I would also argue that getting too personal with people potentially compromises objectivity, seen it 100 times in my professional life. If I CHOOSE to be social with someone(s), it's because I've naturally developed a rapport with that person(s). It's not something that should be forced at gunpoint( figuratively speaking). Like, I'm amazed that the intricacies of human interaction and what is and isn't natural need to be broken down to its molecules here.
Did you miss the part where I said I have lunch with a handful of people? There are people in my office who I do socialize with BY CHOICE. There are 200 people in my company, do you suggest I get to know each and every one of them on a personal level?
When I became a manager I quickly developed a mantra "I don't have to like it, I just have to do it." I just kept repeating that to myself when my boss directed me to do something unpleasant, usually a disciplinary action.
I think this is a function of your workplace changing and you just don't like it. I'm sure you have seen many changes during your tenure.
I was at the same place for 30 years. We did not have this issue but there were plenty of other changes during those 30 years. Some I liked, others I did not.
Actually, no. As I've stated several times now, everything was the same -- and fine -- for over twenty years. Only in the past year or so has this "new management style" come into play. If things had changed earlier in ways I didn't like, I wouldn't have stayed.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
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