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There's definitely introvert discrimination that goes on. Social people outnumber introverts, and people are herd animals that expect everyone to act like they do, so they expect everyone to be their facebook friends, go out drinking with them after work, and all that.
You simply deal with it and accept it. HR can't legally regulate what you do in your off hours. Once you are off the clock, do as you wish, and be careful what you say on social media and you who add to your friends list.
Your supervisor can say he/she was displeased about your lack of attending, but they can't do anything about it, and if they try to fire you for being an introvert, you sue their ass off. As an introvert it is more important you keep your nose clean and not rack up infractions, because you won't get the free pass the "good ole boys" get. That's life as an introvert.
There's definitely introvert discrimination that goes on. Social people outnumber introverts, and people are herd animals that expect everyone to act like they do, so they expect everyone to be their facebook friends, go out drinking with them after work, and all that.
You simply deal with it and accept it. HR can't legally regulate what you do in your off hours. Once you are off the clock, do as you wish, and be careful what you say on social media and you who add to your friends list.
Your supervisor can say he/she was displeased about your lack of attending, but they can't do anything about it, and if they try to fire you for being an introvert, you sue their ass off. As an introvert it is more important you keep your nose clean and not rack up infractions, because you won't get the free pass the "good ole boys" get. That's life as an introvert.
But is introversion a "protected class" (re: civil liberties)? Not legally, although such things as sexual orientation -- which also should really never even come up as a topic in the workplace -- are.
Originally Posted by stockwiz View Post
There's definitely introvert discrimination that goes on. Social people outnumber introverts, and people are herd animals that expect everyone to act like they do, so they expect everyone to be their facebook friends, go out drinking with them after work, and all that.
You simply deal with it and accept it. HR can't legally regulate what you do in your off hours. Once you are off the clock, do as you wish, and be careful what you say on social media and you who add to your friends list.
Your supervisor can say he/she was displeased about your lack of attending, but they can't do anything about it, and if they try to fire you for being an introvert, you sue their ass off. As an introvert it is more important you keep your nose clean and not rack up infractions, because you won't get the free pass the "good ole boys" get. That's life as an introvert.
When you are not one of the gang, but want to be just left alone to do your job, YOU are sending the signal to the boss, you want to be left alone and desire to be in the following work category:
You never want to get promoted to a better and higher paid job. You ware happy with your present job and just want to stay at that job for your entire career with the company.
If the company wants to move some employees down to a lesser job, instead of reducing the number of employees, you want to be on the top of the list for those moved to a less valuable and lower paid job.
If there has to be a cut back in number of employees, you want to be on the top of the list, and the first to be let go.
You are sending signals, you are not one of the team, and want nothing to do with co-workers or management. You have given up your right to complain, that others get the promotion and all the breaks, as you are getting treated exactly, as you are sending signals that you are getting exactly what you want.
You are not being given the promotion as you are one of those that are telling the boss I AM NOT ONE OF THE TEAM, and refuse to be part of the in group, but be the first to complain (especially on chat lines) that the one that got the promotion was on of the in group that the boss felt comfortable with. You call them A** Kissers, and think you were there the longest so you should have been promoted on longevity alone. Sorry but that is not how it works in the real world. The one that the boss will always promote the one that he feels will be a good leader, not someone that hides away from everyone and refuses to be part of the team.
The boss will retain the in group that are part of the team, and will let go those that are loners and not part of the team the boss is building.
The OP says there is a new manager, and complains he/she wants to get them together to socialize. This socialization is how the new manager gets to know those he/she supervises, and learns who fits into the group and who does not. Who he/she will give special projects, who to recommend for promotions, and who to keep at lay off times. Refuse to go along with the manager on this, and you put yourself on the (good employee vs. bad employee) list, just as the fictional Santa Clause places the kinds on the good kids/naughty kids list for who gets the nicest gifts, or bad gifts/no gift list.
There is an old saying that goes, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW, which simply means, YOU GET PLACED ON THE TEAM MEMBER LIST, OR ON THE NON TEAM MEMBER LIST, and get the benefits, or ignored when promotion time comes. And when retention time comes when there are some employees are let go, they are on the Non Team Member List.
And yes you can be fired, but you will not be told the reason. You will be let go, for other reasons such as we have to reduce the staff due to business conditions, etc.
You have the choice, you can be a member of the team and attend those social times that are officially company events, or a not attend and not be part of the work team. It is your choice but if you choose not to be part of the team, don't expect the benefits of being a team member, such as promotions, raises based on your annual review, job retention at times of staff reduction, etc., etc.
It is choices you make, that determine your future, not only on the job, but throughout life.
You are sending signals, you are not one of the team, and want nothing to do with co-workers or management. You have given up your right to complain, that others get the promotion and all the breaks, as you are getting treated exactly, as you are sending signals that you are getting exactly what you want.
And, BTW, remember "short timer" syndrome. Just because someone knows they are leaving/retiring in the near future does not excuse them from the consequences of taking this path. It does not grant them any special privileges either. All it really means is that the day you can look back and whine about how horrible your workplace/bosses/coworkers were is within sight. Main difference is that the people who might actually care about all this injustice are no longer listening or no longer wish to listen.
When you are not one of the gang, but want to be just left alone to do your job, YOU are sending the signal to the boss, you want to be left alone and desire to be in the following work category:
You never want to get promoted to a better and higher paid job. You ware happy with your present job and just want to stay at that job for your entire career with the company.
If the company wants to move some employees down to a lesser job, instead of reducing the number of employees, you want to be on the top of the list for those moved to a less valuable and lower paid job.
If there has to be a cut back in number of employees, you want to be on the top of the list, and the first to be let go.
I don't know what position you have in your company. I think if you were in the high position, you would favor the A** Kissers who like to socialize all the time and tell you all the words you like to hear over the introverts who don't talk much but work diligently and just want to mind their own business when they are not at work. You sound like King Lear in Shakespeare's. I guess you would only like to hear the sweet and flattering things that make you feel good. If any employee brought something, which s/he thought, was not right to your attention and/or told you the truth about something (which could sound blunt and not easy to hear), you would find ways to get rid of that person.
I've read many books about introverts and extraverts. Their personalities are quite opposite. The introverts usually don't like to go to parties. They don't socializing much as the extraverts, but that does not mean they are antisocial. Many employees who are introverts (quiet) and are good employees. They work hard and go above and beyond lots of times. But after work, they just want to go home and enjoy their life out of the workplace. There's nothing wrong with that.
The extraverts are not better than the introverts, and vice-versa. They are just different.
Being in the management, you need to know about your employees when they are at work: how they perform their tasks and how they work with others.
As long as they do their job productively, work well with the team, no matter together or alone, when they are at work, and they are respectable and professional, they are good employees. Why do you (as a manager) care about if they join the company’s social events so much? Why do you care about getting to know them when they are not at work? That’s nosy. That’s manipulating. They have the rights to do whatever they want with their personal life out of the workplace.
I'm so glad my top leader in my company is not a King Lear. And I’m glad my employer does not punish me for I don’t join many of the company’s social events. I got awards and a promotion (not very high, but I am happy with it and like it). I've been staying in this same position for years. I do my job well. Who cares? I don’t think a smart and righteous leader would want to get rid of me.
I know someone at my workplace working in the laundry for 30+ years, and someone as a cook for nearly 40 years. They are happy with their job and work well. What's wrong with that?
There's someone who always thinks people have to be ambitious or greedy to climb up the ladder in the workplace constantly. If they are not ambitious and don't get promotions, there's something wrong with them. That's wrong thinking.
Everyone is different. As long as you are not lazy, you work, you are responsible, you take care of yourself, you don't live like parasites, you are good.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 07-28-2018 at 03:48 PM..
Great post OrdinaryCitizen. I always give more than what's required because that's who I am, but if you treat me like I'm not valued I will withdraw my "extra" and use that time to search for a place that respects its employees. And I won't feel bad about it. Even some of the "bestie" coworkers lose touch. Why? Because the job was the flue keeping them together. So why should I care about what a bunch of people (who don't care about me) think of my socialization "skills" in the workplace? Too many people have a very dysfunctional idea about what the workplace should be. These are usually the people that make life hell for everyone else. Get a life, and seek to fill your social needs elsewhere.
OP I totally get how you feel. Very frustrating to be forced to be part of thr group. I worked in a few offices and I just hated it..i just wasnt social enough...nor did i care.if anything, I just thought the people that stood around talking were not working and wasting time. Id give them a dirty look.
I think one of the stranger trends I see in this thread is that anti-social people feel social people don't work as much. I see anti-social people on their phones at their desks, or browsing the internet at work as much as I see social people talking. A person being at their desk not talking to someone doesn't mean that person is working.
Yes some social people waste time talking, but just as often that anti-social person spends a lot of time on forums online or screwing around on their phone while at work.
I think one of the stranger trends I see in this thread is that anti-social people feel social people don't work as much. I see anti-social people on their phones at their desks, or browsing the internet at work as much as I see social people talking. A person being at their desk not talking to someone doesn't mean that person is working.
Yes some social people waste time talking, but just as often that anti-social person spends a lot of time on forums online or screwing around on their phone while at work.
OP I totally get how you feel. Very frustrating to be forced to be part of thr group. I worked in a few offices and I just hated it..i just wasnt social enough...nor did i care.if anything, I just thought the people that stood around talking were not working and wasting time. Id give them a dirty look.
You will be part of the group or you will be homeless or if you are lucky will find a new job with comparable income and respect in the same area. Most employees are nothing more than court jesters, you will jump around and laugh or you will be on the streets.
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