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Setting time aside to get to know people at work who you don't know that well is ridiculous? You specifically asked what you could do to be more social, that's one simple thing.
What do you lose by grabbing lunch with different people every once in a while? You all have to eat sometime anyway.
As has been stated, introverts require time alone to recharge. If the job involves a lot of social interaction (whether with coworkers, the public, or whatever), lunch is likely one of those times.
"People who need people" just cannot wrap their minds around this, apparently!
As has been stated, introverts require time alone to recharge. If the job involves a lot of social interaction (whether with coworkers, the public, or whatever), lunch is likely one of those times.
"People who need people" just cannot wrap their minds around this, apparently!
I'm extremely introverted. This is not an introversion/extroversion thing. If a person is so anti-social (again, not introverted, anti-social) that they cannot even as much as eat lunch with other people on occasion, they need to accept the fact they will never be one of the better performers for 95% of jobs.
The question was asked, "they want me to be more of a team player, but what can I really do about it?" I gave an answer. Don't ask a question, the reject the answers given. Being introverted doesn't mean a person can't make an effort to be more social, and to be more of a team player. Introversion is not an excuse.
Don't post a topic on a public forum if you don't want to hear opinions outside your own.
I'm extremely introverted. This is not an introversion/extroversion thing. If a person is so anti-social (again, not introverted, anti-social) that they cannot even as much as eat lunch with other people on occasion, they need to accept the fact they will never be one of the better performers for 95% of jobs.
I have several books on this topic that helped me personally become more social as an introvert without draining me, if a goal of creating this thread was to get advise, send me a private message and I can share the titles.
I'm confused; this was at a staff meeting. How could you "blow off" a staff meeting? Sounds to me like they found a way to say goodbye privately and quietly (and in a dignified way) in the course of your everyday routine while respecting your wish that no one throw a special party for you, and you quietly expressed gratitude. Sounds like a success to me... Adults can manage to say goodbye (or whatever else they have to say to one another) without management orchestrating some big public production around it; that's my point.
I had intended to include additional info in that post. I'd been informed there would probably be some small notice taken during that staff meeting because I didn't want a party. Profuse apologies. Surprised this dead horse is still being beaten.
I have several books on this topic that helped me personally become more social as an introvert without draining me, if you'd like their titles, send me a message.
No, thanks; I'm retiring soon. I also don't believe introverts should HAVE to change. We bring unique skills that should be valued.
As has been stated, introverts require time alone to recharge. If the job involves a lot of social interaction (whether with coworkers, the public, or whatever), lunch is likely one of those times.
"People who need people" just cannot wrap their minds around this, apparently!
It goes past the introverted needing a recharge. I don't get paid for lunch( as I suspect is the case with many). So why would I use that time to try and force social interactions with people I work with, in service to the job? If it's not in service to the job, then what's it in service of? If I spent time with a coworker on my own (unpaid) time it is at my leisure and discretion.
The real issue is, as someone succinctly put earlier, many workplaces operate like we're back in high school: Gossiping, cliques, bullying. The workplace is FULL of this sociopathic behavior which breeds in the fertile soil of dysfunctional work environments, facilitated by poor communication, vague objectives or goals, favoritism( a net result of getting PERSONAL with certain workers), poor barometers for performance, promotions or incentives. To combat this, the employer then insists that its workers, who they've successfully pitted against each other due to their own managerial ineptitude, then engage in awkwardly forced social situations. Company social events should not exist to foster camaraderie that is otherwise lacking. Create a WORKING environment that promotes good teamwork through fair practices and procedures, and interpersonal relations between staff will develop naturally......as they should.
How anyone can argue that forced social events is the right way to create a positive working environment escapes me.
Let this lifelong introvert with a 34 year career rephrase this for you:
"It seems that once someone accepts the label of being an anti-social slacker, that is an excuse for not doing their work properly. And work is more than sitting at your desk not working with or communicating with others.
Rightfully so, because no one knows what is going on inside the head of a poorly-socialized or anti-social person because they have very poor communication skills. I've been at meetings with individual poor communicators in my workplace who haven't learned how to handle group situations, and the discussed directly has to do with their work and they are the expert in it, however they refuse to take part in the discussion. Just sit there and not say a word."
"What's the point of this thread, if you're not looking for advise (sic)?"
It's always helpful to refer back to the original post.
"Is enforced "schmoozing" now a thing? Is this not somewhat discriminatory against those with a more shy, retiring nature who don't 'do' crowds?"
And I don't accept your introvert vs antisocial theory. No one is necessarily "antisocial" because he or she doesn't want to be forced to socialize in an artificial setting at a prescribed place and time beyond the usual niceties required for a functional workplace.
I'm reminded of the cartoon of the dog owner at a dog park. "I brought you here to frolic. Now, FROLIC."
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