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I am literally contemplating on leaving a job that I other wise like over my manager requiring that I go out with the team to eat lunch every day. This is has been an issue to me for a few reasons.
OP I can relate. I am so sick of this.
I used to have a boss who did this. Not only did he require that I went to parties / lunch with other staff on my own time, he would then reprimand me when we spend 2 hours at lunch and then, I couldn't finish my work that day.
So I got a new boss and I tried my best to set the stage and NOT do things with the new group. But the same thing is happening. I get invited to things and then I feel I must go only to then have them waste too much time and get in trouble for not getting my work done that day.
Everyone says I should speak up and tell him no. But if he isn't getting the message every time he wants to go out with me that i am not at my desk or try to get out of it or make an excuse then CLEARLY he doesn't want to hear it. He is a super extrovert and just simply thinks I am being a jerk if I don't go.
Listen I've seen this played out too many times, actually quite recently 2 people I know got fired over this. The issue inst the task, its that you are demonstrating insubordination and refusing to take orders despite your rank. To assume you know EVERYTHING about the company and the culture is a one way ticket to get the pink slip. Unless your title says manger or VP (maybe still) you shut up and do what they pay you to do. As long as it is not illegal what's your problem? Dignity? Integrity? Anyone who works for a company that generates millions off your labor is a slave to the corporate hierarchy. You signed away your dignity, integrity, morals once you accepted that offer.
Managers will get rid of people over personal disputes easily and no employee is perfect.
I am literally contemplating on leaving a job that I other wise like over my manager requiring that I go out with the team to eat lunch every day. This is has been an issue to me for a few reasons.
1. Cost: Not only is it expensive to eat out daily, but they also insist on splitting the tab. Some people order appetizers and drinks, so it really bothers me that I am being forced to pay for other peoples extravegence. The worst has been a situation where I ordered a 10 dollar bowl of soup and my final tab was $55.
2. Type of Food My manager considers herself a foodie. And likes to choose restaurants with very "niche" food IMO. For example, they eat at indian or ethiopian restauranets 3 days a week. I do not like this food at all. She has offered to make up for it by letting me choose 1 day a week. That still leaves 4 days a week where im paying approximately 20 dollars for food that I do not like.
3. Time The lunches typically last TWO TO THREE HOURS. This is an extremely long time to be eating out everyday. Additionally, everyone else has roles with flexible work hours. They normally come in the office around 10 to 11 and leave around 5 to 6. My role has to be in the office at 7:30 everyday. Having to eat out everyday has extended my work day an extra two hours a day as I have to make up the time on the back end.
4. Personal Time Our office is one of those trendy shared work spaces. So we are all up on eachother all day long. Most people on other teams can be seen with their head phones in reading a book or just chilling on their lunch breaks because its mentally exhausting being on display for the entire office all day long. I genuinely want to just relax during my lunch break and not be forced to interact with my manager.
5. Office Politics Every other team is working extremely long hours. Personally, I find it extremely unprofessional to go on 3 hour lunches when other teams are working to 11 at night at times. This just isnt how i like presenting myself in a professional environment.
Basically, I other wise really like my job. However, I find the whole situation about lunch extremely rude to the point that I have fired up my linkedin and want to know if i am over reacting.
My manager has sent me a big long email reprimanding me today because I chose not to go out to lunch and eat at an ethiopian restaurant. Because we are a work family and have to eat together. Her counter was that I could choose lunch 1 day a week. I find this totally unreasonable .
If you have already complained, then you can go to the labor department. You already have proof that you are somewhat being forced to eat with your colleagues during a time in which they are not paying for.
Mod cut. The entire office missing for three hour lunches every day? Work time from 10 until 5, with a three hour lunch? What company would put up with a manager that did that? What kind of lunches are they having where the share of the bill is $55 when you only had $10 soup (better have been good soup)?
The entire office is not missing . Only my team of 6 People does this .
I know other people in the office complain about the hours my team keeps. Most every other team in the office is extremely hard working and work late hours
I don’t know if you ever eaten at an authentic Korean bbq or hot pot restaurant but they are expensive as **** when you order alpt of different things
The entire office is not missing . Only my team of 6 People does this .
I know other people in the office complain about the hours my team keeps. Most every other team in the office is extremely hard working and work late hours
I don’t know if you ever eaten at an authentic Korean bbq or hot pot restaurant but they are expensive as **** when you order alpt of different things
Can you get re-assigned to one of these other teams? Talk to one of the other team managers or HR.
I used to have a boss who did this. Not only did he require that I went to parties / lunch with other staff on my own time, he would then reprimand me when we spend 2 hours at lunch and then, I couldn't finish my work that day.
So I got a new boss and I tried my best to set the stage and NOT do things with the new group. But the same thing is happening. I get invited to things and then I feel I must go only to then have them waste too much time and get in trouble for not getting my work done that day.
Everyone says I should speak up and tell him no. But if he isn't getting the message every time he wants to go out with me that i am not at my desk or try to get out of it or make an excuse then CLEARLY he doesn't want to hear it. He is a super extrovert and just simply thinks I am being a jerk if I don't go.
That’s what’s happening here .
I have worked to 7 or 8 Friday every week but one . They just all leave after lunch but my role has deliverables on Friday afternoon every week. So it’s forcing me to work later
Id prefer to not say the actual city. But it is a fortune 500 company. So, its big enough that we have a solid hr system and corporate regulations.
I honesty dont think she is doing it because she is super controlling believe it or not. I have a ton of freedom doing my actual job and presenting my own work. At my last company, my boss was controlling with micromanaging every thing i did and this woman is not like that at all.
I think its one of few possible things
1) I think she may genuinely think this is the best way to manage the team. To like cultivate a "work family" type of environent.
2) I do wonder, if me not going, is threatning to her. Like if everyone else is gone for 3 hours during the middle of the day. And i stay at my desk, does it pressure her to stay too as how it may reflect to other people in the company.
3) lack of personal social life. So, this could be her outlet
Are you in the US or another country? You don't have a zip code in your profile and you haven't posted in a state sub-forum. It would be helpful to know where you are located
What does HR (or the business owner) thinks about this requirement? I would take my concerns up to them.
Tbh, I would move on with my life. She sounds like a control freak. Definitely wouldn't want to work with someone like that.
HR is only there to protect the companies from lawsuits. They are the patzys of management in most places. . Bringing up issues with them and expecting anything to get done , you may as well just have a conversation with the air conditioner in your office.
And if they aren't doing that they're just making the hiring process comprised of pointless psycho babble tests and "trick questions" and goofy pre-requisites and not whether or not you are QUALIFIED for the Job.
To ask HR to take proactive measures on accomplishing to eliminate BS, is probably asking for too much
I am not a 'lunch' person. I hate going out for lunch--always have. Worked at one of those firms where the birthday lunches out were like 15 people. I slowly started canceling and finally they stopped asking, but nobody actually cared.
Personally, I would never be able to tolerate your work situation. Hate shared work spaces, and then being forced to go to lunch, pay for others' meals, even if you aren't hungry? No way!
If you cannot get out of this situation by transferring to a different department, find a new job or prepare to be more and more miserable as time goes on. It does, in fact, become suffocating. Pretty soon little things will get on your nerves and unless something changes--you aren't going to be happy in such a restrictive atmosphere. I honestly have never heard of such a bizarre policy.
BTW, if you start looking for another job now while you still have one, you will a great answer to that question they always ask--"why do you want to leave your current position?" I would think any sane person would agree that it was an inappropriate situation to force these lunches out on you. It also means you cannot use your lunch hour to get anything personal done.
I am literally contemplating on leaving a job that I other wise like over my manager requiring that I go out with the team to eat lunch every day. This is has been an issue to me for a few reasons.
1. Cost: Not only is it expensive to eat out daily, but they also insist on splitting the tab. Some people order appetizers and drinks, so it really bothers me that I am being forced to pay for other peoples extravagance. The worst has been a situation where I ordered a 10 dollar bowl of soup and my final tab was $55.
2. Type of Food My manager considers herself a foodie. And likes to choose restaurants with very "niche" food IMO. For example, they eat at indian or ethiopian restaurants 3 days a week. I do not like this food at all. She has offered to make up for it by letting me choose 1 day a week. That still leaves 4 days a week where im paying approximately 20 dollars for food that I do not like.
3. Time The lunches typically last TWO TO THREE HOURS. This is an extremely long time to be eating out everyday. Additionally, everyone else has roles with flexible work hours. They normally come in the office around 10 to 11 and leave around 5 to 6. My role has to be in the office at 7:30 everyday. Having to eat out everyday has extended my work day an extra two hours a day as I have to make up the time on the back end.
4. Personal Time Our office is one of those trendy shared work spaces. So we are all up on each other all day long. Most people on other teams can be seen with their head phones in reading a book or just chilling on their lunch breaks because its mentally exhausting being on display for the entire office all day long. I genuinely want to just relax during my lunch break and not be forced to interact with my manager.
5. Office Politics Every other team is working extremely long hours. Personally, I find it extremely unprofessional to go on 3 hour lunches when other teams are working to 11 at night at times. This just isn't how i like presenting myself in a professional environment.
Basically, I other-wise really like my job. However, I find the whole situation about lunch extremely rude to the point that I have fired up my linkedin and want to know if i am over reacting.
My manager has sent me a big long email reprimanding me today because I chose not to go out to lunch and eat at an ethiopian restaurant. Because we are a work family and have to eat together. Her counter was that I could choose lunch 1 day a week. I find this totally unreasonable .
Wait the second: is this in US?
If so, I envy you for the opportunity!
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I have hard time believing such place exists
