11-03-2008, 03:40 PM
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
RadioBroadcaster2008
I actually know what some of that means!
When I was in the military it was the same way: I worked every holiday, my military friends were my family, and after moving around so much, I became sort of numb to it all. And with no family, it makes it a bit harder. Now I just pretty much ignore the holidays. I start to get sad and nostalgic a bit (like the last few days) but I realize what it is and snap out of it....with coping mechanisms and not the greatest ones, but they seem to work for me.
11-03-2008, 03:44 PM
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Alaskagrl
Sorry you went through that. I encountered something similar at one time.
I've heard this one before; a guy coming down on a woman's behavior in her life BEFORE she was with him. Now, while I can understand completely that a guy may not want to be with someone who's been promiscuous or wild in their past, that doesn't mean that, if he ASKS for the information, and it's willingly shared with him, that he then has the right to keep constantly judging that person. Either he can handle her past, or he can't, and he oughtta be man enough to simply say that rather than use a checkered past as ammo, like you said.
If he asks for the truth, and gets it, then he should say--well, I can deal with that; let's not talk about it anymore--that part of your life is done now and you're with me. Or he should say "man, I cannot handle what you used to be like; I'll have that image of you in my head forever and I need to say goodbye." But to hang on to someone while at the same time tearing them down for their past...that's so destructive.
You are SO TOTALLY ON...exactly. Don't use my past against me. Use it to know me or to see if it's something you can deal with. My ex knew I was divorced from early on in the game. And he cancelled our wedding for that very reason, because I was divorced. It took him two and a half years to figure out he couldn't deal with that. He was so concerned about making me a tart because in his mind the Bible said I was still married.....Oh but you know....it was all good when we were having sex.....
but when it came to a lifetime commitment, somehow I wasn't good enough for that....MMM kay...
11-03-2008, 03:52 PM
Location: Ridgway/Saint Marys, PS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
cobolt
When I was in the military it was the same way: I worked every holiday, my military friends were my family, and after moving around so much, I became sort of numb to it all. And with no family, it makes it a bit harder. Now I just pretty much ignore the holidays. I start to get sad and nostalgic a bit (like the last few days) but I realize what it is and snap out of it....with coping mechanisms and not the greatest ones, but they seem to work for me.
Yeah, I've become numb to it too.. and I learn to deal with it, mainly by ignoring people on Christmas, my birthday (Nov 19th) and other days and keeping to myself.
11-03-2008, 03:53 PM
Location: um....guess
10,503 posts, read
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Reputation: 1836
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Alaskagrl
Sorry you went through that. I encountered something similar at one time.
I've heard this one before; a guy coming down on a woman's behavior in her life BEFORE she was with him. Now, while I can understand completely that a guy may not want to be with someone who's been promiscuous or wild in their past, that doesn't mean that, if he ASKS for the information, and it's willingly shared with him, that he then has the right to keep constantly judging that person. Either he can handle her past, or he can't, and he oughtta be man enough to simply say that rather than use a checkered past as ammo, like you said.
If he asks for the truth, and gets it, then he should say--well, I can deal with that; let's not talk about it anymore--that part of your life is done now and you're with me. Or he should say "man, I cannot handle what you used to be like; I'll have that image of you in my head forever and I need to say goodbye." But to hang on to someone while at the same time tearing them down for their past...that's so destructive.
Yep, he was a complete & utter nut. Like serious psycho-case. I should've ran when I found out his ex had a restraining order against him. He needs medication, badly. Worst person I ever went out w/, & stupidly I put up w/that crap on & off for 2 long years. Thank god he moved to Colorado, I'm sure he's pulling the same stint on every other girl there. I really do wish that I would know when he was dating someone & then fly there myself & warn her about him. He's the devil. But you know, I'm kinda glad I went thru that to know that there is no way in hell I will ever allow someone treat me that way again. Kinda makes me gunshy though, like is the next guy I date going to try to kill me? How much worse can it get? Sorry, this isn't a pity party, I just can't believe I put up w/that, but I'm sure we've all got our war stories.
11-03-2008, 03:54 PM
Location: um....guess
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
cobolt
My ex knew I was divorced from early on in the game. And he cancelled our wedding for that very reason, because I was divorced. It took him two and a half years to figure out he couldn't deal with that. He was so concerned about making me a tart because in his mind the Bible said I was still married.....Oh but you know....it was all good when we were having sex.....
but when it came to a lifetime commitment, somehow I wasn't good enough for that....MMM kay...
Sounds like you had a peach as well, don't you just love those jerks?
11-03-2008, 03:57 PM
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
karfar
Yep, he was a complete & utter nut. Like serious psycho-case. I should've ran when I found out his ex had a restraining order against him. He needs medication, badly. Worst person I ever went out w/, & stupidly I put up w/that crap on & off for 2 long years. Thank god he moved to Colorado, I'm sure he's pulling the same stint on every other girl there. I really do wish that I would know when he was dating someone & then fly there myself & warn her about him. He's the devil. But you know, I'm kinda glad I went thru that to know that there is no way in hell I will ever allow someone treat me that way again. Kinda makes me gunshy though, like is the next guy I date going to try to kill me? How much worse can it get? Sorry, this isn't a pity party, I just can't believe I put up w/that, but I'm sure we've all got our war stories.
Well that's the thing. You learn so much from these experiences, but the wiser you are, the less you're gonna put up with, the higher your standards, etc. And then you think "is that a red flag or am I being too judgemental?" I remember that's how I felt in my last relationship. Yeah...they were red flags alright. I think I just don't have patience for drama anymore. My life is so drama free being single and not paired up with anyone. I guess peace comes at its price
11-03-2008, 03:58 PM
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
karfar
Sounds like you had a peach as well, don't you just love those jerks?
I'd use a different fruit to describe him....in fact, I kinda think there was a fruit thingy going on there in the closet, if you get my drift.
11-03-2008, 04:01 PM
Location: The Great State of Texas, Finally!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
RadioBroadcaster2008
Yeah, I've become numb to it too.. and I learn to deal with it, mainly by ignoring people on Christmas, my birthday (Nov 19th) and other days and keeping to myself.
I'm the same way. I went off on a trip by myself for my birthday. I usually avoid the holiday invites because it's alot of Normal Rockwell wanna be stuff turned nightmare and this sounds horrible, but I think to myself when I'm at these things "gee, I could be at home right now eating pizza and watching ...fill in the blank." I keep to myself alot too. I think I do moreso here because I'm getting ready to move/leave the area, so I don't want to make connections.
11-03-2008, 04:02 PM
Location: Ridgway/Saint Marys, PS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
cobolt
I'd use a different fruit to describe him....in fact, I kinda think there was a fruit thingy going on there in the closet, if you get my drift.
LOL, I got your drift!
11-03-2008, 04:05 PM
Location: Ridgway/Saint Marys, PS
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Reputation: 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cobolt
I'm the same way. I went off on a trip by myself for my birthday. I usually avoid the holiday invites because it's alot of Normal Rockwell wanna be stuff turned nightmare and this sounds horrible, but I think to myself when I'm at these things "gee, I could be at home right now eating pizza and watching ...fill in the blank." I keep to myself alot too. I think I do moreso here because I'm getting ready to move/leave the area, so I don't want to make connections.
I just keep to myself because I know I'd be a msierable grump if I hung around people.
The only one who takes pitty on me is my dog, George anyways.
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People in Group quarters - Military hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Other hospitals or wards for chronically ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Hospitals or wards for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Mental (Psychiatric) hospitals or wards (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Schools, hospitals, or wards for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the deaf (%)
People in Group quarters - Institutions for the blind (%)
People in Group quarters - Orthopedic wards and institutions for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in general hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Wards in military hospitals for patients who have no usual home elsewhere (%)
People in Group quarters - Juvenile institutions (%)
People in Group quarters - Long-term care (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for abused, dependent, and neglected children (%)
People in Group quarters - Residential treatment centers for emotionally disturbed children (%)
People in Group quarters - Training schools for juvenile delinquents (%)
People in Group quarters - Short-term care, detention or diagnostic centers for delinquent children (%)
People in Group quarters - Type of juvenile institution unknown (%)
People in Group quarters - Noninstitutionalized population (%)
People in Group quarters - College dormitories (includes college quarters off campus) (%)
People in Group quarters - Military quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - On base (%)
People in Group quarters - Barracks, unaccompanied personnel housing (UPH), (Enlisted/Officer), ;and similar group living quarters for military personnel (%)
People in Group quarters - Transient quarters for temporary residents (%)
People in Group quarters - Military ships (%)
People in Group quarters - Group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes or halfway houses for drug/alcohol abuse (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally ill (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the mentally retarded (%)
People in Group quarters - Homes for the physically handicapped (%)
People in Group quarters - Other group homes (%)
People in Group quarters - Religious group quarters (%)
People in Group quarters - Dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Agriculture workers' dormitories on farms (%)
People in Group quarters - Job Corps and vocational training facilities (%)
People in Group quarters - Other workers' dormitories (%)
People in Group quarters - Crews of maritime vessels (%)
People in Group quarters - Other nonhousehold living situations (%)
People in Group quarters - Other noninstitutional group quarters (%)
Residents speaking English at home (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking English at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking Spanish at home - Foreign born (%)
Residents speaking other language at home (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Born in the United States (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Native, born elsewhere (%)
Residents speaking other language at home - Foreign born (%)
Class of Workers - Employee of private company (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed in own incorporated business (%)
Class of Workers - Private not-for-profit wage and salary workers (%)
Class of Workers - Local government workers (%)
Class of Workers - State government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Federal government workers (%)
Class of Workers - Self-employed workers in own not incorporated business and Unpaid family workers (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in houses and condos - No fuel used (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Utility gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Bottled, tank, or LP gas (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Electricity (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Fuel oil, kerosene, etc. (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Coal or coke (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Wood (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Solar energy (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - Other fuel (%)
House heating fuel used in apartments - No fuel used (%)
Armed forces status - In Armed Forces (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Veteran (%)
Armed forces status - Civilian - Nonveteran (%)
Fatal accidents locations in years 2005-2021
Fatal accidents locations in 2005
Fatal accidents locations in 2006
Fatal accidents locations in 2007
Fatal accidents locations in 2008
Fatal accidents locations in 2009
Fatal accidents locations in 2010
Fatal accidents locations in 2011
Fatal accidents locations in 2012
Fatal accidents locations in 2013
Fatal accidents locations in 2014
Fatal accidents locations in 2015
Fatal accidents locations in 2016
Fatal accidents locations in 2017
Fatal accidents locations in 2018
Fatal accidents locations in 2019
Fatal accidents locations in 2020
Fatal accidents locations in 2021
Alcohol use - People drinking some alcohol every month (%)
Alcohol use - People not drinking at all (%)
Alcohol use - Average days/month drinking alcohol
Alcohol use - Average drinks/week
Alcohol use - Average days/year people drink much
Audiometry - Average condition of hearing (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear a whisper from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - People that can hear normal voice from across a quiet room (%)
Audiometry - Ears ringing, roaring, buzzing (%)
Audiometry - Had a job exposure to loud noise (%)
Audiometry - Had off-work exposure to loud noise (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high blood pressure (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Checking blood pressure at home (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Frequently checking blood cholesterol (%)
Blood Pressure & Cholesterol - Has high cholesterol level (%)
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at supermarket/grocery store
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on food at other stores
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on eating out
Consumer Behavior - Money monthly spent on carryout/delivered foods
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at supermarket/grocery store (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on food at other stores (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on eating out (%)
Consumer Behavior - Income spent on carryout/delivered foods (%)
Current Health Status - General health condition (%)
Current Health Status - Blood donors (%)
Current Health Status - Has blood ever tested for HIV virus (%)
Current Health Status - Left-handed people (%)
Dermatology - People using sunscreen (%)
Diabetes - Diabetics (%)
Diabetes - Had a blood test for high blood sugar (%)
Diabetes - People taking insulin (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Diet health (%)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Milk product consumption (# of products/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals not home prepared (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Meals from fast food or pizza place (#/week)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Ready-to-eat foods (#/month)
Diet Behavior & Nutrition - Frozen meals/pizza (#/month)
Drug Use - People that ever used marijuana or hashish (%)
Drug Use - Ever used hard drugs (%)
Drug Use - Ever used any form of cocaine (%)
Drug Use - Ever used heroin (%)
Drug Use - Ever used methamphetamine (%)
Health Insurance - People covered by health insurance (%)
Kidney Conditions-Urology - Avg. # of times urinating at night
Medical Conditions - People with asthma (%)
Medical Conditions - People with anemia (%)
Medical Conditions - People with psoriasis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with overweight (%)
Medical Conditions - Elderly people having difficulties in thinking or remembering (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever received blood transfusion (%)
Medical Conditions - People having trouble seeing even with glass/contacts (%)
Medical Conditions - People with arthritis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with gout (%)
Medical Conditions - People with congestive heart failure (%)
Medical Conditions - People with coronary heart disease (%)
Medical Conditions - People with angina pectoris (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had heart attack (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had stroke (%)
Medical Conditions - People with emphysema (%)
Medical Conditions - People with thyroid problem (%)
Medical Conditions - People with chronic bronchitis (%)
Medical Conditions - People with any liver condition (%)
Medical Conditions - People who ever had cancer or malignancy (%)
Mental Health - People who have little interest in doing things (%)
Mental Health - People feeling down, depressed, or hopeless (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much (%)
Mental Health - People feeling tired or having little energy (%)
Mental Health - People with poor appetite or overeating (%)
Mental Health - People feeling bad about themself (%)
Mental Health - People who have trouble concentrating on things (%)
Mental Health - People moving or speaking slowly or too fast (%)
Mental Health - People having thoughts they would be better off dead (%)
Oral Health - Average years since last visit a dentist
Oral Health - People embarrassed because of mouth (%)
Oral Health - People with gum disease (%)
Oral Health - General health of teeth and gums (%)
Oral Health - Average days a week using dental floss/device
Oral Health - Average days a week using mouthwash for dental problem
Oral Health - Average number of teeth
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to control insects (%)
Pesticide Use - Households using pesticides to kill weeds (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity work activities (%)
Physical Activity - People walking or bicycling (%)
Physical Activity - People doing vigorous-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - People doing moderate-intensity recreational activities (%)
Physical Activity - Average hours a day doing sedentary activities
Physical Activity - Average hours a day watching TV or videos
Physical Activity - Average hours a day using computer
Physical Functioning - People having limitations keeping them from working (%)
Physical Functioning - People limited in amount of work they can do (%)
Physical Functioning - People that need special equipment to walk (%)
Physical Functioning - People experiencing confusion/memory problems (%)
Physical Functioning - People requiring special healthcare equipment (%)
Prescription Medications - Average number of prescription medicines taking
Preventive Aspirin Use - Adults 40+ taking low-dose aspirin (%)
Reproductive Health - Vaginal deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Cesarean deliveries (%)
Reproductive Health - Deliveries resulted in a live birth (%)
Reproductive Health - Pregnancies resulted in a delivery (%)
Reproductive Health - Women breastfeeding newborns (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had a hysterectomy (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that had both ovaries removed (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever taken birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women taking birth control pills (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used Depo-Provera or injectables (%)
Reproductive Health - Women that have ever used female hormones (%)
Sexual Behavior - People 18+ that ever had sex (vaginal, anal, or oral) (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had anal sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Males 18+ that ever had any sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had vaginal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever performed oral sex on a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had anal sex with a man (%)
Sexual Behavior - Females 18+ that ever had any kind of sex with a woman (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first had sex
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female vaginal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a woman (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of woman performed oral sex on in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male anal sex partners in lifetime (males 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average age people first performed oral sex on a man (18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male oral sex partners in lifetime (18+)
Sexual Behavior - People using protection when performing oral sex (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of times people have vaginal or anal sex a year
Sexual Behavior - People having sex without condom (%)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of male vaginal sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Average number of female sex partners in lifetime (females 18+)
Sexual Behavior - Circumcised males 18+ (%)
Sleep Disorders - Average hours sleeping at night
Sleep Disorders - People that has trouble sleeping (%)
Smoking-Cigarette Use - People smoking cigarettes (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with smell (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ having problems with taste (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had wisdom teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had tonsils teeth removed (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a loss of consciousness because of a head injury (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had a broken nose or other serious injury to face or skull (%)
Taste & Smell - People 40+ that ever had two or more sinus infections (%)
Weight - Average height (inches)
Weight - Average weight (pounds)
Weight - Average BMI
Weight - People that are obese (%)
Weight - People that ever were obese (%)
Weight - People trying to lose weight (%)
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Sorry you went through that. I encountered something similar at one time. 
but when it came to a lifetime commitment, somehow I wasn't good enough for that....MMM kay...
