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I have been there. We will pray for you. I think it is better this way because you have more time to prepare for the end but when someone dies suddenly it is more of a shock.
It's all difficult--losing someone. It may happen suddenly or over years--either way there is pain. If my DH was able to do things and enjoy just a tiny bit of his life I would agree with you but the way he is now it is just a matter of time with more pain each day for all involved and no way for me to help..
I work so hard each and every day to find positive so I might share just a little with my DH and lately it is getting very hard to find even just a little.
Good morning friends!
We had a bit of a shock last night while watching the news--one of the men we had gotten to know and chat with at the ALS clinic was an elected official for the Charlotte area--he was always wearing a suit and very polite but we had no idea what profession he had. Anyhow he passed away on Sunday from the ALS......what seems so odd is he could still talk fine and he was even walking up until our last clinic but he just didn't appear to be at that advanced stage. I don't know what the complications were but he had only had ALS for 2 years. It really upset both my DH and myself. I had a very hard time falling asleep thinking about it. Yes, I know it is going to happen but to see someone you know and just talked to pass away from it makes it so scary.....so real....
DH has a doctor appointment with his GP today so even though it's a little icy and wet we are going. I'm doing all the driving now so I'll just go slow.
Good morning friends!
We had a bit of a shock last night while watching the news--one of the men we had gotten to know and chat with at the ALS clinic was an elected official for the Charlotte area--he was always wearing a suit and very polite but we had no idea what profession he had. Anyhow he passed away on Sunday from the ALS......what seems so odd is he could still talk fine and he was even walking up until our last clinic but he just didn't appear to be at that advanced stage. I don't know what the complications were but he had only had ALS for 2 years. It really upset both my DH and myself. I had a very hard time falling asleep thinking about it. Yes, I know it is going to happen but to see someone you know and just talked to pass away from it makes it so scary.....so real....
DH has a doctor appointment with his GP today so even though it's a little icy and wet we are going. I'm doing all the driving now so I'll just go slow.
Oh Cyn, how sad, and I can imagine how close to home that hits for you and DH, besides the loss of a friend to you both......
Sometimes we're just at a loss of words that would do a good job of comforting someone as we want so much to, so I'll just say that I guess all we can do is to do our best to make every day, every minute, count, and savor each moment we have ( as much as we can) with our loved ones. It won't stop the inevitable, may not even postpone it, but we'll know we did what we could, and our efforts have made both our lives and those of our loved ones better and more meaningful for having shared those relationships, those moments, even the hard times.......
Please Cyn, take care of yourself, and your DH ( I know you do that every day!) and may the angels be with you on those icy roads. ((((Cyn))))))
Thank you TL..we did make it home and the roads were bad. Guess God was watching over us!
The Dr asked if we had everything in order---you know what he is saying. We don't. I thought about it all the way home....
Who ever has "everything" in order--really? I never moved here to be by myself.....I don't even know anyone really--a couple of neighbors....but couldn't consider a move--I have responsibilities here now... I am quite sad right now......I'm sure I will perk back up.....
Dear cyn......the thing you have in order is that you hve been keeping DH as your number 1 priority .... but it is true that the two of you need to think of final arrangements... including funeral services......banking.....property....insurance etc. I hope that you are brave enough to face all of that.
Are your spousal rights totally secure should his son decide to contest your claim to property etc.
it is tough stuff to deal with...but will be better if he helps you now before you are on your own. When he passes you need to know which mortuary to call...if he wants burial or cremation...church service .... all that stuff.
Good morning friends.
Elston we have most things in order--still have to have the house put in my name only--right now it's in both our names and since we have different last names that has to be done. The cremation will be done by the ALS community because we have offered to let them use his body for research so they will take care of the cremation. The banking is in my name except our PayPal account and I just opened a PayPal account so we do need to transfer that money from DH's account into my account. We already put the truck in my name. We just need to sell all those things we brought from CA to sell online as our retirement. Looks like we may have to consider an auction at this point. Lose a lot of money that way but at least it would be done. Something for us to consider. Right now even thinking about all of this is like a bad dream....but we do know it has to be done.
Dear cyn......I am saddened but relieved to read your post. I am glad that you have been able to attend to the practical business of dying as well as the everyday caregiving aspects and medically related stuff.
I was worrying about his son.....and still am concerned that he might step into the picture at the end and create problems. If you are the surviving spouse.....(married).....your rights would be secure....I think...other wise the son could create problems....and I wouldn't put it past him .
Yes elston, that is a big worry for us as well. Not only his son that lives here but he has 2 daughters that live in other states that would be out to get whatever they can...we know that...I'm sure they are just waiting...sigh...sometimes I wonder what this world is coming to. It makes me cry.
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