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I am so sad...so lonely and all I all want is my DH to love me for what I am.....I may not be perfect--I'm not--but I care and I try! He is so grumpy today--maybe it is the upcoming surgery?? Maybe that is why I am so emotional?? Not a good mix for sure. So I am really looking forward to going to sleep for the night as usual. Tomorrow will be very busy getting everything done around here preparing things for my animals for my neighbor and getting lists made for my DH. So time to feed my fur-babies and then us...
He did try the cervical collar and several other types but nothing works...not with the breathing problems and muscle weakness too around the neck and chest. It's just the way ALS works....
I did get the dogs yard done and was happy to do it but DH didn't make it easy. I spilled gas all over myself and the mower as I tried to fill the tank--this is pretty new to me and I'm a bit of a klutz it seems......DH got a little angry with me about it....my emotions are so---how do I say it--right there---and I feel emotional pain so easily today...so I am holding back the tears and just trying to get things done. I had to put air in the one tire so that required even more skills that I was not really born with but am working on. It's all a learning process so I find it hard to understand why DH thinks I should have been born knowing these things. Sigh......... I did a lot of this last year but he was able to help a lot more now it's all up to me and that makes it so different. Just a very emotional day for me today but I will pop out of it....
(((Cyn))), well maybe he can't help it, but your DH is out of line being angry with you over your difficulties in trying to do things you're new at.....
You're allowed to cry, it might help things- to relieve the sorrow, frustration, and all the other emotions you've got going there...
If you can, just take it easy and try to get some well-earned rest, you so deserve it.
And I'll flip a mental bird at DH, for being angry with you!
Have you ever thought about printing some of the responses and let him read the great support you have here from (at one time) total strangers! Maybe it would let him "see" your feelings and find out how hard you are working to make things better for him. I'm sure he'd rather not be sick, but he is and he has to value you for who you are and what you're trying to accomplish for him! After next Friday I'm not going to be around for a few weeks, but I will take you with me on my trip and you're not going to believe the places we're going and the things we are going to see. Will tell you all about it when "we" get back. Love you and stay strong for YOURSELF! I'm going to shoot him a real bird! That's one of my very bad habits that at my old age I'm trying to control - but it's not working very well.
Good morning friends!
You are so funny Peachy! Thanks for the smile! Enjoy your trip--sounds wonderful!
I know he and I are both on edge about this surgery---Until it is over and done I don't see us doing much relaxing but that will be tomorrow and hopefully then we can relax a bit.
Have a lovely day everyone!
Good morning friends!
You are so funny Peachy! Thanks for the smile! Enjoy your trip--sounds wonderful!
I know he and I are both on edge about this surgery---Until it is over and done I don't see us doing much relaxing but that will be tomorrow and hopefully then we can relax a bit.
Have a lovely day everyone!
Love the idea of your virtual trip with Peachy, great idea!
Will you and DH be going to the hospital later today or bright and early tomorrow?
You'll both be edgy and nervous, that comes with any surgery, but it will be over before you know it.
And I bet that your DH will be stronger once he can get enough nourishment to keep him going.
I'd say do whatever needs to be done, and the rest just what you feel like doing!
Actually the time we check in is great--12:30pm is the surgery time but we have to be there an hour early for check in of course. That gives us travel time and time for caring for the animals before we leave too. Then we supposedly get to come home Thursday morning---we'll see how that works out. I've never seen checking out of a hospital go very smoothly! I already have the the kitties that will be in the den a water fountain I added today--used the one from the living room after I thoroughly cleaned it and put an old one I had stored away in the living room. Taz drinks water all day long and she loves her fountain. Clean water is a must so a fountain works perfect. I am washing the sheets from our bed so DH will come home to a fresh clean bed--I keep it pretty clean anyhow but right now I'm down to one set of sheets so I wanted to have those nice for him. When they dry I will make the bed and then it's litter box cleaning time...the soapy through cleaning they get every few weeks. Since I won't be here to constantly clean the boxes and all of the cats will be in it won't be pretty! Generally I clean after each use if I see them and also 4 of the cats are outside during the day weather permitting but since they will not have a choice they will have to use the litter box and that is one thing I won't ask my neighbor to do--clean the poo I just hope they use the boxes even if they get a little dirty---always have but like I said I keep them very clean! Then it's bath time for DH and a shower for me! I hope to have enough energy to vacuum even if it's just a quickie. I have lots more to do but it's good cause it keeps my mind off of tomorrow!
Peachy--I really am looking so forward to our trip--I am so excited and can hardly wait!!!!!!!!!
I am sure once you and DH get home and start using the feeding peg you will feel a great load off your shoulders from worrying if he is getting enough nutrients and scared of him choking.
Thanks everyone!
I also love the imaginary trip with you LL--I will dream the dream that dreamers dream!
I can't even imagine what it would feel like to go anywhere anymore and have "fun". Even before the ALS we had some pretty bad problems with family and fun just has not been a big part of our lives lately. DH has been pretty miserable all day today.. I know he is anxious--I'm about ready to slip him one of his anxiety pills but that just isn't right so guess we'll deal with is mood instead...sigh.....
He has not has anything good to say about anything...just ugh!
I too am hoping once this is over he will feel better and his mood will change. At least I will know he is getting the proper nutrients and that will give me some peace.
Still there is so much to face in our future---just wish I knew what to do right......One day at a time--one step at a time....
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I did a lot of this last year but he was able to help a lot more now it's all up to me and that makes it so different. Just a very emotional day for me today but I will pop out of it....
I already have the the kitties that will be in the den a water fountain I added today--used the one from the living room after I thoroughly cleaned it and put an old one I had stored away in the living room. Taz drinks water all day long and she loves her fountain. Clean water is a must so a fountain works perfect. I am washing the sheets from our bed so DH will come home to a fresh clean bed--I keep it pretty clean anyhow but right now I'm down to one set of sheets so I wanted to have those nice for him. When they dry I will make the bed and then it's litter box cleaning time...the soapy through cleaning they get every few weeks. Since I won't be here to constantly clean the boxes and all of the cats will be in it won't be pretty! Generally I clean after each use if I see them and also 4 of the cats are outside during the day weather permitting but since they will not have a choice they will have to use the litter box and that is one thing I won't ask my neighbor to do--clean the poo I just hope they use the boxes even if they get a little dirty---always have but like I said I keep them very clean! Then it's bath time for DH and a shower for me! I hope to have enough energy to vacuum even if it's just a quickie. I have lots more to do but it's good cause it keeps my mind off of tomorrow!
